Hangin' In

Today my sponsor's dad died. This woman has 22 years sober/clean and 23 years in Al Anon (Her 16 year old son got sober before she did.) She is a card carrying member of AA and Al Anon and is a wonderful example of how the 12 step program will work if you work it.

We speak or email nearly every day, so I knew her 89 year old dad had fallen this past Friday. He fractured some vertebrae and just went downhill after being admitted to the hospital. He lives up north and my sponsor lives in the south.

I have been amazed to watch this woman handle this for you see she was sexually abused by this father. I've heard her share her story many times as a speaker at open AA meetings and have marveled at how, when working her steps, she went to her dad and asked HIM to forgive HER for not being the daughter she should have been. She tells of how she knew she was a difficult teenager and felt she needed to make amends to her dad for this. He never apologized to her or admitted any wrong doing on his part.

So when she called a couple of days ago to tell me he was on a respirator, I listened to how she was handling it. I am so grateful she has a program and it was so evident in her words. She told me how she felt her side of the street was clean and she was at peace. She even said she was somewhat surprised at how "well" she was doing, but she knew it was because she had done the hard work years ago, the hard work of actually working the steps and taking the action they require. We talked about how you can forgive someone and be okay with them. She has been able to be around her dad and have a civil relationship with him. Of course, it's not a close one that a daughter would dream of, but still, a relationship with a father who had abused her. It just amazing that she could get to that point ... a gift of the program for sure.

This afternoon I got an email from her and she said, "I feel at peace like I've never felt before." And I knew what she was talking about. It isn't a peace as in, "Good, he's gone" but more like "I did the right thing. I looked at myself, saw my part in it, took responsibility for it and made my amends."

I haven't lived this woman's life and I can't begin to put myself in her shoes, having been through what she's been through (and what I've referred to is only a very small portion of her story). But one thing I do know. I am watching a woman who is exhibiting the gifts of working the 12 step program. Tonight she is at a meeting, sharing her experience, strength and hope. I am watching recovery at it's best and I want what she's got.

I hope all of you will have the gift of having someone like this come across your path on your road of recovery. Please keep her and her family in your prayers.

Hugs,
Hangin' In

hope213

she is in my prayers & so is her family. God bless her, she must be a saint.

Ann

I've been lucky enough to have read some of this same woman's writings and her light just shines so brightly when she speaks. She truly is an inspiration to me and I've never met the lady. And again, at this moment in her life, she still manages to touch my heart and the hearts of many with her wonderful recovery spirit.

Please give her a big hug from me, Hangin' and tell her Canada sends love and prayers for her and her family tonight.

Hugs

mooselips

Thanks Hangin'

What an inspiring woman. It is hard to see when you are a newcomer, what actually our program can do.
This is a wonderful example of someone Working their program, and weaving it into every aspect of her life.


God bless that gal on the loss of her father.