LITA1978

WELL I HAVE NOT POSTED IN A FEW DAYS. I HAVE HAD A CRAZY FEW WEEKS AT WORK AND I AM PRETTY MUCH RUNNING THE SHOW. ITS HARD TO RUN A DEPARTMENT WHEN YOU SHOULD TWO PEOPLE AND ONLY ONE AND FOUR PEOPLE YOU HAVE TO TEND TO. I WORK IN A SERVICE DEPARTMENT DEALERSHIP. SO YOU CAN ONLY IMAGINE. ANYWAY.

WELL TO ADD TO MY STRESSFUL LAST FEW MONTHS IS MY PROBLEM WITH MY AH. WE HAVE NOW BEEN SEPERATED FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS NOW. I CAN SEE A SLIGHT IMPROVEMENT BUT STILL CAN FEEL IN MY GUT HE IS STILL TAKING MEDS AND ABUSING THEM. I JUST KNOW HE IS. WELL THIS WEEKEND I TOLD HIM I DID NOT WANT TO BE WITH HIM ANYMORE AND I WAS NOT HAPPY. HE DOES NOT SEEM TO REALIZE IT THOUGH. HE SAYS TO ME WHAT YOU WANT ME TO". I DONT KNOW WHAT TO TELL HIM TO DO. "I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU" AND "I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR NOTHING THEN". HE MAKES ME SO MAD I COULD JUST KILL HIM AND BE DONE WITH IT. HAHA. I KNOW I CANT DO THAT. I TOLD HIM HE SHOULD BE STAYING SOBER AND CLEAN FOR HIM NOT ME.

SO NOW HE COMES TO MY WORK TODAY AND WE TALKED OR MORE LIKE BUTTED HEADS FOR ABOUT 45 MINUTES. HE SAYS HOW CAN I BE PAYING BILLS AND WORKING AND BLAH BLAH IF I AM STILL USING. I TOLD HIM YOU HAVE DONE IT BEFORE. HE DID NOT SAY ANYTHING BUT GET MAD. WELL HE DOES NOT KNOW I HAVE SPOKE WITH HIS FATHER THAT HE WORKS FOR AND HE TOLD ME THAT MY AH IS NOT DOING LIKE HE SHOULD AND HE GETS MONEY FROM HIM ALLLLLL THE TIME AND HE GETS PAID MORE THAN HE SHOULD EVERY WEEK. HE SAID HE IS ON CRACK. AND HE IS IN DEAP WITH IT.

HOW DO I GET PAST THIS AND HAVE HIM REALIZE I DONT WANT THIS ANYMORE. WE HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER SO HOW DO I BALANCE THE TWO.

Ann

Lita, I think you were wise to decide to move on with your life. Until his actions back his words, he will continue this spiral downhill and it's just not a good ride for us to take with them.

Unless you want a life living in his dark place of addiction, keep moving forward and let him hit bottom on his own. You are not the one who holds the key to his sobriety or happiness, he holds his own key, just as we each do.

Prayers going out for both of you. I feel your pain and hope that you can keep yourself in a good place with whatever unfolds.

Hugs

Miss Pink

the best way to tell him is to show him. if you are telling him to try to get him to change, its fruitless. thats called control. You have choices and options, but getting him to do something you want if HE doesnt want to...isnt one of them.

Try alanon.

hope213

my son has been on crack for the pass 13yrs. it is a terrible drug. you are doing the right thing. keep looking out for yourself & your child. it will not get any better until he wants it to. you are right, the addict has to get clean & sober for themselves, not you or your daughter.prayers,

kj21

Lita, I could have almost written that post myself. we have been seperated for 6 weeks but broke up 4 months ago (he slept in the moho or the couch for a while untilhe could go somewhere else) He says the same thing " I am doing what I am supposed to but nothing changed with us, whats the point?" The point is...do it for yourself not for us!!!! He just doesn't get it. I am afraid he is doing all this for me not for himself. i do not want to be a b*%ch to make him see that I am moving on. I know he needs support and encouragement but he takes it as feelings for him. AARRGGG!! I hope your AH gets on lthe right path, but it sounds like he is not quite there yet. Be strong, do what you need to do to be happy. He'll change or he won't, his choice. Then you can decide what you'll do, get back toogether or not, your choice.