kj21

I am feeling sad today. I am weak and wondering. I know just because he has a couple good days and tries to make amends for his mistakes (he called my father on the weekend to apologize for his actions), that doesn't mean we can have a future together. He is always calling, texting. he is depressed and that makes me sad. It was easier to deal when he was using and being a jerk. how selfish of me. My friends keep commenting how strong I am...but that is only on the outside. Inside today I feel like crying. More to deal with, I have to remember he cannot promise me a better life. He is an addict. He has lied, stole, left me stranded many times. I guess a little part of me hopes he can change for ever, but a bigger part knows better. Thanks for the vent...

Done_With_It

Spiritual Seeker

It is perfectly okay to be sad. Sometimes when I have a day like that and I just allow myself to be okay with the feelings I feel a lot better the next day and more clear about my role in the situation.
We never win when we argue with reality. Sadness often comes from that.
Acceptance of "what is" takes awhile to get to but when you do, it will be good.

hbb

Hugs to you, sorry your going through this. I usually post in the F&F of Alcoholics. I can unfortunately relate to the above. I too felt that way, he was worse sober (dry). It's not selfish at all, i think alot of us may feel that way. I can remember saying to my mum that i wish he would just drink again at least he was more loving then but knew that wasn't the solution either.

hope213

it gets easier when you really let it go. i am sorry u are sad today. do ot let anyone influence you.hugs,

caileesnana

I think it is like going through the grief cycle--denial, etc. It will get better, as you gain strength through recovery. As you change, everything else has no choice but to change in some way!!

susan

DevastatedJP

I totally agree!! It is a grieving process of sorts. No, nobody died but they did, in a way. An addicts recovery is as selfish as the addict using and you feel screwed and betrayed either way. You've been hurt, stolen from, abandoned, lied to....your hopes and dreams have been slowly dying thanks to the addict. One day, you will have hopes and dreams again and it won't be as scary as it is right now.:praying