PeaceTrain

Hello - I just wondered if I could have some feedback on "Intervention" and
taking the addict to a rehab center. When we are told we are powerless over
alcohol and drugs, that the addict must want to change or else it is fruitless.
Now, many experts in the field are advocating an "Intervention" to get the addict into treatment, before they die or have harmed themselves greatly --
I was wondering how people felt about this. Is this what we should be advocating -- your feedback would be appreciated. Thanks

outonalimb

Hi Energy...

I don't think we've met yet !! Welcome to SR !!!!!

My brother in law and I staged our own intervention with my exah.

My exah did enter into rehab as a result.
He stayed only 10 days, got out, and went right on back to using.

He wasn't ready.

I don't know if that brief stint in rehab did him any good or not. Maybe he picked up a few tools but just failed to use them. I'm not sure. The only thing I do know for sure is that they have to want to go for themselves...for their own reasons...or else it just won't work. If they go to appease the people around them, it won't.

I'm sure some people have been forced into rehab and managed to find recovery once they got there...but I think the chance of it working if it isn't their idea are pretty dang slim.

hope213

i have to agree with outonalimb.i do not think it will work if you force them to do anything. i see & hear about these people that are court ordered into rehab. very seldom do they come out a changed person but it does happen.
welcome to S.R. i am glad you are here. there is alot of info & recovery for you here. stick around & stay awhile.

marle

An intervention does not guarantee anything. I believe that the addict has to be willing. Rehab is a chance to get clean and maybe to get it. Sometimes it can alienate the addict further if they are not ready. I have heard that as many addicts who are forced into rehab succeed as those who go willingly. If you do decide to do an intervention you should seek the help of a professional and have the treatment ready to go. Addicts are mostly ambivalent about getting clean and the faster you get them to rehab the better, before the call of the drug drags them back. I know that if I had the money to burn, I would probably give it a shot. Marle

lightseeker

this is a great subject......my RAH had several interventions and none of them worked. Partly because the family system did not do their part and stop enabling him. I think for an intervention to have a chance to work the family really needs to do a whole lot of their own work.

Although none of the interventions/in pt treatments worked for my RAH, the information apparently seeped in. When he was finally ready to get off the crack pipe he did it without an intervention and without any rehabs. He did go to NA (at least in the 1st year). He knew exactly what he needed for him to be able to recover. He set up all of the dynamics that he needed for it to work. Relapse prevention counselling (met weekly with counselor and then group once a week) really did help him to confront his core issues which led to his addictions.

I think families should understand that interventions are a crap shoot in terms of success. It is true that we are supposed to be "hands off of the addict". Basically, interventions are an offer for them to get help that is made in conjunction with setting firm boundaries that there will no longer be contact with the active addict. It then gives them the opportunity to make the decision for themselves. They are not actually hauled off against their wishes. Many addicts actually turn the interventions down.

I have a friend that I have met in AA and she was featured on Intervention. It was exactly what she needed and she has been sober since June '06. Her family confronted her, told her their limits, and then she was offered the chance for help. She willingly chose it and she has worked extremely hard in recovery. She definitely does the deal.

I think that each situation is different. A lot of the relapsers on Intervention have families that did not participate in Alanon or Naranon. Nothing changes if nothing changes, right. I agree with Marle - if I had the money to burn I would definitely give it a shot. I would also burn a wad of that money on myself to go to a family program.

By the way, welcome to SR. It's helped to save my life. I mean that very seriously.

Thanks for the topic....keep coming back! Donna

lightseeker

PS RAH just came in the room and read over my shoulder. He added this "basically, the sooner that you are made to face the music/no longer shielded from consequences, the sooner that you get sober. As long as I knew that I had someone to cover for me I wasn't going to stop. It makes you really think twice. I never really had to face the consequences because I always had someone, my ex-wife, my family to bail me out".

That really is all true in his case.

mooselips

Welcome to Sober Recovery.
I never tried an intervention with either of my sons.
Just felt that they had to be ready, or else it would be fruitless.

I may be wrong, though.



Glad you're here.

bookmiser

(((((((Energy))))))))




I guess you could say that I did my own intervention when I confronted my son about drug abuse. When I pulled his shirt sleeve over his elbow and saw the horrible marks that he had made with, my God, needles?
I immediately called a methadone clinic and started him on it. I paid for it myself. Not even knowing what the heck methadone was. I was going to do whatever it took.
Long story short. 2 week long detoxes, 2 different methadone maintenance clinics, 2 psychiatric hospital visits, and 1-6 month stint in county prison- priceless. All over the course of 5 years.
He got clean in jail, but once out, drank and smoked pot.
Today, he sees a doctor and drug counselor, is on medication for bi-polar, and lives away from me. lol
Had to add that last part. He drove me crazy living with me.
They have to want sobriety, to get sober. Sure, an intervention could take place. They may even enjoy all the attention they get if they're slightly narcissistic, like my son. If all the crying, pleading,
and begging and doing what someone else wants you to do could get someone clean...
there wouldn't be any addicts or relapses.
I'm all for intervention. Especially, when there are many loved ones and friends that can persuade the addict to get help. Even forced help, the addict will take something from the experience, imho.
It's just that the first "help" may not stick.
Recovery doesn't happen with just a stint in a rehab. It's a lifelong journey that the addict must work on daily for life.
One day at a time.
I recently relapsed on cigarettes. I can't imagine an addiction to illegal drugs and trying to stay clean of them. I have a hard enough time with cigarettes.
If they were to ever make cigarettes illegal...OMG!
Keep coming back,

splendra

I say if you can get him to go and can afford it go for it just be prepared for a bumpy ride no matter what you do...

Always be gentle with yourself.

sleepygoat

I have heard the same statistic that marle said, that an addict who is forced into treatment (by the courts for example) has exactly the same chance of staying clean after completion of treatment as the addict who goes in voluntarily. I heard this on the addiction series that HBO had last year. I know personally several addicts in recovery who were forced to get clean either thru jail or thru court mandated rehabs and remained clean. the thing is, the statistic for recovery is lousy even for those who want treatment. Most addicts just can't stay clean. but what do you have to lose??

I strongly recommend finding a profession "interventionist" counselor to set the whole thing up - there is training needed for the family and friends who will be involved, and then the interventionist is present and mediates the intervention itself. Try calling a hosp or rehab to see if they have such services available. I know my local hospital does - I'm not sure what insurance would cover (nothing is done for free, of course).

Spiritual Seeker

Love First: A New Approach to Intervention for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction by Jeff Jay and Debra Jay (A Hazelden Guidebook)
available from Amazon and book stores.
I did an interv. Mar. '07 Son didn't go. However, he is going this month. He now sees that his life is unmanagabl, didn't see it then.

PeaceTrain

Thank you for the welcome mat and your replies -- all very worthwhile and interesting.
I suppose it is a 50/50 (could be 20/80) chance that an intervention with treatment may help the addict, yet, if they are not open to that -- well, I suppose, they go back to where they were to begin with -- and if we don't give it a shot, I suppose we will never know if they will accept change --

marle

I offer my daughter rehab when she is ready. The important part of that sentence is "when she is ready." She may never be, but she knows that we will help her find a place when she is. She also knows that home is not the place that she can come when she gets out. So I feel that my intervention with her was setting very firm boundaries for my own life and keeping my hands off hers. Hugs, Marle

tryingtoheal

I posted this in another forum a few weeks ago. I am one that is sober today due to an intervention. However, I am not sure if I fit the mold, I knew I had to quit, I just didn't want (nor had the willpower) to quit...and knew I'd be able to continue as long as I was being enabled by my family. Basically, the shame and desperation of my own perception of my situation during the surprise intervention allowed my feet to carry me to the car so my family could take me to rehab.

A differing viewpoint

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In my situation, I was 'forced' into rehab by my family. I agreed to go to appease them; I wanted to quit, but I wanted/needed to continue using even more. However, after the WD's ended (about six days after my very last use), I could suddenly see myself for what I had become...a selfish, apathetic, monster. I was so horrified by what I had become, how my attitude had morphed terribly, etc. that I just decided then and there that I was NOT going to continue being that using monster. I dropped out of rehab; I never go to NA meetings; and I am sober. Not only sober, but I am back to me, the person I was before I started using. Friends and family have all commented like, "The old you is back!"

I totally respect that everyone above is telling the cold hard truth for their situations; I guess I just wanted to offer another line of thinking in the matter. This whole situation sucks, and I am so sad that everyone who wrote above had to hurt so badly in order to get to the level of strength at which they are at today. I pray that your hurting stops, Lost in His Addiction. Thank heaven for this forum!!!

JoyfulSunflower

Last year, we attempted the world's worst-executed intervention - involving a chase through the woods and a search party. Basically it failed because the loving and well-intentioned family and friends wanted to "love her" out of her addiction without any end-of-the-road bottom lines. If everyone isn't willing to stand by their bottom lines no matter how hairy and horrible it feels, the intervention is not only unsuccessful, it sets us up to have even less credibility next time.

I love the TV show, though, and believe that each family comes to recovery in their own way!!

Blessings,
Laura

AUDRADAVID

i think it depends on each addict but what an inervention basically does is brings the addicts rock bottom to them, (the consequences from friends and family is refusal of treatment) instaed of waiting till their rock bottom is death. So for some it works well and some it doesnt work well at all. Sometimes addicts are so far in that they can even think of how to get help. And that is an addict in definite need of an intervention. But i say anything at this point is positive as long as it is in the right direction. Good luck and best wishes always.

lil516

recovery is difficult even when the addict has "hit bottom" and wants it
i can only imagine how hard it is if the addict is resistant

and yet....I have heard many recovering addicts speak and its amazing the paths that bring them to recovery....

if its possible to try an intervention then why not but I'd be careful about getting expectations too high or investing any substantial $

my son went to numerous facilities...
places with great success stories but my son wasn't one of them.....
he finally hit his bottom and has been in recovery for 18 months.....
why is this place working when the others didn't ?

because its not the place that's working, it is him doing the work

when we were seeking treatments we always asked "is the program successful?"
the answer was "programs aren't successful, people are"

keeping you in my prayers