new here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Virginia gal
Posts: 132
new here
I am here to look for help and support. My 25 year old daughter, I believe is an addict. She has all the classic signs. She has two children, boy 4 and daughter 2. She lives with their father. Six months ago they were doing fine. They had moved into a new townhouse. Had furnished it beautifully. Kids were so excited. Now I find out that they are being served with eviction papers. They have no furniture. My daughter has told me so many lies to get money from me. She has conned me out of about $2,000. She now calls and wants me to give her money so she can buy food for the babies. I am heart broken and my nerves are shot. I have not slept or eaten for about two weeks. I do not know what to do or who to turn to. I believe that she is about to go to jail. I am so worried about the grandchildren.
Any help, or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Any help, or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Painter
Welcome to SR.
There are many here who have been or are in your shoes.
Support and answers will come as they show up and reply.
I am moving this thread to the Friends and Family so that more may see it and gain you more replies.
Your not alone. There is help and suport all around.
Welcome to SR.
There are many here who have been or are in your shoes.
Support and answers will come as they show up and reply.
I am moving this thread to the Friends and Family so that more may see it and gain you more replies.
Your not alone. There is help and suport all around.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: In
Posts: 561
Hello Sorry your going through this my 22yr daughter is the addict in my life. Read the stickies at the top lots of good info there. Others will be along that are wiser than me to help answer your questions.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
painter,
Welcome to Sober Recovery, glad you found us.
So sorry to hear about your daughter, but you will find many parents here experiencing the same situation you presently have.
If you have Alanon or Naranon meetings in your area, I would attempt to get to a meeting as soon as possible. The meetings are for YOU, and will help you to feel better.
IMO, if your daughter should ask for more money to feed the children, I would ask what she needs and buy it and take it to her house, so she will not have access to money.
Sorry to overwhelm you,
Hugs from one mom to another.
Welcome to Sober Recovery, glad you found us.
So sorry to hear about your daughter, but you will find many parents here experiencing the same situation you presently have.
If you have Alanon or Naranon meetings in your area, I would attempt to get to a meeting as soon as possible. The meetings are for YOU, and will help you to feel better.
IMO, if your daughter should ask for more money to feed the children, I would ask what she needs and buy it and take it to her house, so she will not have access to money.
Sorry to overwhelm you,
Hugs from one mom to another.
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
(((((((Painter)))))))))
Just wanted to welcome you to the group. Send you my prayers and support for you and your family.
I'm Linda and the mother of a 26 yo "recovering" drug user.
He doesn't really work a recovery, like the 12 steps or anything.
He just doesn't use the drugs he use to use. Now he sees a psychiatrist and counselor and takes meds for bi-polar disorder.
You've come to a wonderful place for support and feedback.
Getting into face to face meetings (alanon/naranon) will help, too.
Hugs,
Linda
Just wanted to welcome you to the group. Send you my prayers and support for you and your family.
I'm Linda and the mother of a 26 yo "recovering" drug user.
He doesn't really work a recovery, like the 12 steps or anything.
He just doesn't use the drugs he use to use. Now he sees a psychiatrist and counselor and takes meds for bi-polar disorder.
You've come to a wonderful place for support and feedback.
Getting into face to face meetings (alanon/naranon) will help, too.
Hugs,
Linda
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: toronto . ontario
Posts: 75
It breaks my heart just reading your post but you are in the right place . I hope you can find the info you need here to help . I agree with Mooselips , maybe bring a few bags of food over that you know the children will eat. It might sound harsh but maybe you need to find out about children's services getting involved and make a call to them .
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((biggianthugs )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((biggianthugs )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Painter,
I am the mother of a 25 year old recovering daughter. Welcome to SR. You've found a great place for love and support, so I hope you'll stick around, read and post some more. There is a lot of good info on this site, so please take advantage of it.
I'm with Mooselips. Best thing I could recommend for you is to find an Al Anon or Nar Anon meeting and commit to going to at least 6 meetings. Meetings have played a huge role in my recovery and I know that I would not have made it this far, still having my peace of mind, if it weren't for those meetings. The room is filled with people who know exactly how you are feeling...the fear, the guilt, the anger, etc. Please go to a meeting.
Read on this board and listen to the wise people who exhibit something you want. There are many on here who have made it and are making it while having an active addict in their life.
And like Moose said, I would not give your daughter $. Buy the food and take it to her, if you want, but the worst thing you can give an addict is money.
Prayers and hugs to you and your daughter. I hope to see you around some more.
Hangin' In
I am the mother of a 25 year old recovering daughter. Welcome to SR. You've found a great place for love and support, so I hope you'll stick around, read and post some more. There is a lot of good info on this site, so please take advantage of it.
I'm with Mooselips. Best thing I could recommend for you is to find an Al Anon or Nar Anon meeting and commit to going to at least 6 meetings. Meetings have played a huge role in my recovery and I know that I would not have made it this far, still having my peace of mind, if it weren't for those meetings. The room is filled with people who know exactly how you are feeling...the fear, the guilt, the anger, etc. Please go to a meeting.
Read on this board and listen to the wise people who exhibit something you want. There are many on here who have made it and are making it while having an active addict in their life.
And like Moose said, I would not give your daughter $. Buy the food and take it to her, if you want, but the worst thing you can give an addict is money.
Prayers and hugs to you and your daughter. I hope to see you around some more.
Hangin' In
StrivingToThrive
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 425
Hi Painter,
Welcome,
You are in the right place. I am the mother of a 22 year old AS. I along with everyone else know your fear, anxiety and frustration. Read all the Stickies above and get yourself to an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting. The face-to-face is even better than this Website.
Welcome,
You are in the right place. I am the mother of a 22 year old AS. I along with everyone else know your fear, anxiety and frustration. Read all the Stickies above and get yourself to an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting. The face-to-face is even better than this Website.
remember to breathe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
Hi and welcome to the SR family.
My 23 yr old son is my addict, He is single with no children so my advice is not from experience regarding the children. Give her no money for sure, I don't know how you feel about taking the children in, it might be in the future. I wouldn't take them without doing it legally though, why should she get the freedom to go do what she wants.
Not a whole lot you can do and why should you.... you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it.
Look into the meetings, they will be a life saver and you may even get more advice regarding the children.
best wishes
My 23 yr old son is my addict, He is single with no children so my advice is not from experience regarding the children. Give her no money for sure, I don't know how you feel about taking the children in, it might be in the future. I wouldn't take them without doing it legally though, why should she get the freedom to go do what she wants.
Not a whole lot you can do and why should you.... you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it.
Look into the meetings, they will be a life saver and you may even get more advice regarding the children.
best wishes
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Welcome Painter,
I'm glad you found us. There is a lot of love, help and support here. There are shoulders to cry on and people to share in your good times as well as the bad. People will pray for you when you need it and people will listen to you vent when you need to.
Trust me....no one will understand you more than this wonderful SR family.
SR never closes........we will always leave the light on for you.
Hugs...............Lo
I'm glad you found us. There is a lot of love, help and support here. There are shoulders to cry on and people to share in your good times as well as the bad. People will pray for you when you need it and people will listen to you vent when you need to.
Trust me....no one will understand you more than this wonderful SR family.
SR never closes........we will always leave the light on for you.
Hugs...............Lo
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
Welcome! It may also be that her boyfriend/husband is the addict (or both?). Have you found evidence of drug abuse prior to this with your daughter? Something is definately going on though. Great idea about bringing food for the kids. Keep posting and let us know how its going. This is a great place for us parents. My AD is 19 and I am doing so much better with the whole situation since hanging around this forum!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I too want to welcome you and tell you I am sorry for your pain.
As wisely said above me, giving money is not the answer because as needed as it may be, it will only go to drugs. I would be concerned about those children, though, and keep an eye for them. I had to report my son and his lady and have the child removed and taken to a safe house. Luckily the mother got back into recovery quickly and was able to get the little girl back. Someone has to be the voice of the child and sadly, it's often us.
Please walk with us a while, try to find a meeting in your area and know that it can get better as you join us on the journey of recovery.
Hugs from another mom
As wisely said above me, giving money is not the answer because as needed as it may be, it will only go to drugs. I would be concerned about those children, though, and keep an eye for them. I had to report my son and his lady and have the child removed and taken to a safe house. Luckily the mother got back into recovery quickly and was able to get the little girl back. Someone has to be the voice of the child and sadly, it's often us.
Please walk with us a while, try to find a meeting in your area and know that it can get better as you join us on the journey of recovery.
Hugs from another mom
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
