New Year with new goals of objectivity
StrivingToThrive
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 425
New Year with new goals of objectivity
Hi everyone,
Thank you for all your posts for the New Year!
I know I haven't been around for a bit. I have checked in a few times, no excuse just probably hiding, but I've recently had a big "Light Bulb" go on in my head and I had to share.
Although my husband and I have been separated for almost 10 months we have still been connected. I have struggled with letting go physically as well as mentally.
During this time, when we are together, sometimes it looks positive for the relationship and sometimes not.
Well he said something regarding our relationship that I finally heard correctly. sure I often heard him say it but I chose to interpret it in a way that made me happy.
He Said, " Sometimes there are times he's afraid to do or say something that he might want to, because he's afraid it will give me false hope. Often times when I heard him say this, I would try to understand the struggle. But this time when I heard it, I heard what he was REALLY saying even if he's not conscious of it. If he was afraid to give me " False Hope" then the Hope is False and not there. The hope isn't real. Wow.
So now I know I am seeing and hearing for the first time what my Higher Power has probably been trying to nudge me to see and hear.
Every year instead of a resolution I have tried to look back on my year and decide how I feel about the year and how do I want the next year to look like?
Well this year I have decide that I want to listen and look more objectively at my life and stop avoiding what I don't want to hear.
One of my sisters reminded me what a crappy year it has been for me, both my son and my husband going sideways on me. But I told her that never has there been a year where I have grown so much and look forward to the person I am becoming ( not there yet!) so its been a blessing as well as a trial.
Here's to 2008!
Cathy
Thank you for all your posts for the New Year!
I know I haven't been around for a bit. I have checked in a few times, no excuse just probably hiding, but I've recently had a big "Light Bulb" go on in my head and I had to share.
Although my husband and I have been separated for almost 10 months we have still been connected. I have struggled with letting go physically as well as mentally.
During this time, when we are together, sometimes it looks positive for the relationship and sometimes not.
Well he said something regarding our relationship that I finally heard correctly. sure I often heard him say it but I chose to interpret it in a way that made me happy.
He Said, " Sometimes there are times he's afraid to do or say something that he might want to, because he's afraid it will give me false hope. Often times when I heard him say this, I would try to understand the struggle. But this time when I heard it, I heard what he was REALLY saying even if he's not conscious of it. If he was afraid to give me " False Hope" then the Hope is False and not there. The hope isn't real. Wow.
So now I know I am seeing and hearing for the first time what my Higher Power has probably been trying to nudge me to see and hear.
Every year instead of a resolution I have tried to look back on my year and decide how I feel about the year and how do I want the next year to look like?
Well this year I have decide that I want to listen and look more objectively at my life and stop avoiding what I don't want to hear.
One of my sisters reminded me what a crappy year it has been for me, both my son and my husband going sideways on me. But I told her that never has there been a year where I have grown so much and look forward to the person I am becoming ( not there yet!) so its been a blessing as well as a trial.
Here's to 2008!
Cathy
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((cece)))
I think 2008 is going to be a great year for you!
I posted on another thread, once, how I had read something by a man who said that in looking back over his life, he had the most growth as a person during the times he had the most pain. I believe we have lessons to learn, and if we don't "get" them at first, we keep going through the same thing until the light bulb goes off.
I think you have made tremendous progress in the time I've been on SR, and you will continue to do so. Here's to YOU!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I think 2008 is going to be a great year for you!
I posted on another thread, once, how I had read something by a man who said that in looking back over his life, he had the most growth as a person during the times he had the most pain. I believe we have lessons to learn, and if we don't "get" them at first, we keep going through the same thing until the light bulb goes off.
I think you have made tremendous progress in the time I've been on SR, and you will continue to do so. Here's to YOU!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
(((Cece)))
When I worked, I had a big sign I made above my desk, it said
"Talk Less, Listen More"
I STILL have problems with that one!
You're going to have a wonderful year, I can just feel it!
When I worked, I had a big sign I made above my desk, it said
"Talk Less, Listen More"
I STILL have problems with that one!
You're going to have a wonderful year, I can just feel it!
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Cathy...Isn't it something how such pain can also bring such excitement about our personal growth? If I keep focusing on that...the journey itself, I can't help but find the positive.
Pretty big lightbulb moment...I'm sorry things aren't as you hoped, but I know you are moving towards what is best for you. Hugs
Pretty big lightbulb moment...I'm sorry things aren't as you hoped, but I know you are moving towards what is best for you. Hugs
StrivingToThrive
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 425
Thank you always friends for your support.
As I read all the posts this past few days I see the topic of "Letting Go" is on many peoples NEW YEAR Lists to do.
Cathy:ghug3
As I read all the posts this past few days I see the topic of "Letting Go" is on many peoples NEW YEAR Lists to do.
Cathy:ghug3
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
I have come to believe Letting Go isn't about them at all; it is Entirely about me letting go:
Of expectations, of my own character defects that can no longer be ignored, of control, of talking or thinking too much, of resentments, of relationships that are no longer right, destructructive habits, etc. etc.
It is like cleaning out a closet. Now there will be room for something new.
Of expectations, of my own character defects that can no longer be ignored, of control, of talking or thinking too much, of resentments, of relationships that are no longer right, destructructive habits, etc. etc.
It is like cleaning out a closet. Now there will be room for something new.
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