Cutting Communication
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 6
Cutting Communication
Hi,
I'm new to all of this and really need some advice. My sister has a serious drug problem. She has done so many terrible things to the family that every time I even think of it I get so angry. Some Examples: stealing thousands of dollars, stealing and selling family heirlooms to support her habit, lying on a consistent basis, making us feel guilty for not trusting her only to find out that she's lying again.
She finally went to detox, followed by rehab (2nd time cause she got kicked out the first time).
Following rehab she stayed at a women's shelter and was supposed to look for a job, get her own place and get on her feet. It has been 4 months now, she sleeps all day, has lost 30lbs (drug use), and is back on the drugs (despite her claims that she is 8 mths clean). She refuses to go back to rehab and continues to abuse the system.
It really makes my mother so depressed (instead of thinking about enjoying retirement she worries about her daughter), she blames herself and can't understand how my sister has become so complacent and reckless with her life.
I am so close to completely cutting my sister out of my life. I feel like the sister that I love so much has disappeared and been replaced by a selfish, lazy person with no morals or consideration for anything.
Can anyone please give me some advice?
What have you done to help deal with things?
Is cutting an addict out of your life the wrong thing to do?
I'm new to all of this and really need some advice. My sister has a serious drug problem. She has done so many terrible things to the family that every time I even think of it I get so angry. Some Examples: stealing thousands of dollars, stealing and selling family heirlooms to support her habit, lying on a consistent basis, making us feel guilty for not trusting her only to find out that she's lying again.
She finally went to detox, followed by rehab (2nd time cause she got kicked out the first time).
Following rehab she stayed at a women's shelter and was supposed to look for a job, get her own place and get on her feet. It has been 4 months now, she sleeps all day, has lost 30lbs (drug use), and is back on the drugs (despite her claims that she is 8 mths clean). She refuses to go back to rehab and continues to abuse the system.
It really makes my mother so depressed (instead of thinking about enjoying retirement she worries about her daughter), she blames herself and can't understand how my sister has become so complacent and reckless with her life.
I am so close to completely cutting my sister out of my life. I feel like the sister that I love so much has disappeared and been replaced by a selfish, lazy person with no morals or consideration for anything.
Can anyone please give me some advice?
What have you done to help deal with things?
Is cutting an addict out of your life the wrong thing to do?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
WELCOME TO S.R.
tell your mom the 3 c's.....she did not CAUSE it, she can not CONTROL it, & she can not CURE it, neither did you or anyone else. your sister made a bad choice & it is her choice to get the help she needs or not. my son is my addict & it took me yrs. to find the support & work this recovery program to realize it was not me. i thought i was a bad mom or had done something wrong. it was not true. the road with an addict is very long & very hard until YOU get some recovery in your life. find a naranon meeting to go to & take your mom. read around here at all the other post. i am glad you found us.please keep coming back.prayers for your brother & your family.
tell your mom the 3 c's.....she did not CAUSE it, she can not CONTROL it, & she can not CURE it, neither did you or anyone else. your sister made a bad choice & it is her choice to get the help she needs or not. my son is my addict & it took me yrs. to find the support & work this recovery program to realize it was not me. i thought i was a bad mom or had done something wrong. it was not true. the road with an addict is very long & very hard until YOU get some recovery in your life. find a naranon meeting to go to & take your mom. read around here at all the other post. i am glad you found us.please keep coming back.prayers for your brother & your family.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
sue22,
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
While cutting all ties with your sister may sound like a good idea, perhaps you would like to consider "detaching with love"
Here's a thread from a while ago, that kind of gives some good clues on how to do it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-detach-2.html
Hugs to you, it's hard when the people we love are addicts.
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
While cutting all ties with your sister may sound like a good idea, perhaps you would like to consider "detaching with love"
Here's a thread from a while ago, that kind of gives some good clues on how to do it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-detach-2.html
Hugs to you, it's hard when the people we love are addicts.
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
That's a really great thread that Moose hooked you up with.
Hope you can get some relief soon from the chaos and drama of having
an addict in your family. My 26 yo son was the reason I came to soberrecovery. Turns out, I was the one needing help, too.
Sending prayers and a welcome,
Linda
Hope you can get some relief soon from the chaos and drama of having
an addict in your family. My 26 yo son was the reason I came to soberrecovery. Turns out, I was the one needing help, too.
Sending prayers and a welcome,
Linda
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