krhea75

Well, after getting kicked out of the oxford house last week, my son moved home with me and actually has been pleasant to have at home (that always is a warning for me!) but i just have been taking it as it comes. He has been attending meetings, staying home quite a bit, but still hanging with his old using friends in the evening. He could be using but i don't think so. He will report to jail on wednesday (not my choice, but hey) and then contribute his last paycheck towards his bail. My ex and I will split the rest. He will get a job then and wait for his court date.
It's funny but it feels like he has turned a corner. Maybe not, maybe it's just an act. I am really trying to leave it up to him. If he had reported to jail earlier it would have looked better to a judge, but he has decided to wait so he will have to deal with the outcome.
All I know is that I love him, want him well and hope he makes that choice. I also know that it is up to him. I do feel so much stronger than I have in the past. Thanks to you all for being my soft place to land, my sounding board.
krhea

parentrecovers

prayers to you and your son, krhea. i sure hope he finds his way in the new year. hugs, k

hello-kitty

krhea75:

Sorry to be a negative nelly but hanging out with "old using buddies" is a HUGE problem for addicts and should be a second "warning" to you (in addition to the first one that you listed). Until an addict changes the PEOPLE, places and things he is around, he is tempting fate. He should be learning that in his recovery meetings.

I hope you truly enjoy the time you have with him and try not to worry or contemplate too much about the future. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow may never happen. Today is all we have. That's why it's called a "present."

mooselips

krhea75,
I'm not even going to talk about your son, because, you know what? this is All about YOU!

You are doing so well, taking things one day at a time, and that's what's important here. You already know, that no matter what you do, you can't change the outcome of the future, and you seem to be doing okay with that.


Hugs,

caileesnana

The truth will come out sooner or later either way! Ya'll remain in my prayers,
susan

bookmiser

(((((((Krhea))))))))

Ann

Sending my prayers too, for him and for you. I know how hard this is and I really hope things work out well.

Hugs

rahsue

hoping and praying your new year will bring much happiness and peace.

hope213

prayers for you & your son.

Hangin' In

Krhea,

Little story here....

I have an Al Anon friend who, this time last year, was about to have the worst night of her life, or so she thought. She got the call from the jail, that her son had been arrested. That started a long year of recovery for both her and her son.

Today, as I attended the funeral of a precious 36 yr old woman, mother of 3 small children (died with brain aneurysm), I thought of my friend and her son. My friend realizes that jail was an actual gift, one that gave her son his 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) chance at life. And today he is clean and sober. Today he has his life here on this earth whereas the young woman that died today didn't get a 2nd chance.

So jail....well, it can be a good thing.

You have a happy New Year and know that your son's HP has him right where he needs to be.

Hugs,
Hangin' In

sleepygoat

You do sound like you are i a good place with all of this and that must be a gift. Your son needs to find his own way toward recovery and away from active addition and he's making a good start with the meetings. Most people learn ONLY thru their own experience and not because somebody else tells them so, and addicts are no different. I know he's hearing about staying away from 'people, places, and things' in his meetings. If he 'slips' because he's hanging with old using buddies, he'll learn the lesson (hopefully) for himself. I know it took me many years in NA to finally internalize everything that they suggest, as the plain truth. I no longer have to test stuff out for myself, but that really took a lot of hard knocks. Some are sicker than others and some are 'thicker' than others, as they say.