Nice Christmas
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Nice Christmas
Daughter came on time and spent a couple of hours with us. I know she wanted to stay longer but the abf was waiting in some parking lot for her. She brought me a gift. A nice sweater and a scented candle. First time in three years. We gave her a coat which she loved. Keep saying that it was a real kick*ss coat. Also some bras and perfume and a lot of leftovers. She and I took Petey for a walk and did quite a bit of just talking. It is funny how much better things can be when I am not trying to control her or the outcome. I treat her with the respect that any adult human deserves and she does the same for me. Lots of hugs, kisses and I love yous when she left. All in all a nice day. Hugs, Marle
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Marle)))
I'm SO glad you and Megan had a good day! And yeah, if you got her a "kick-a$$" coat...you are obviously a cool mom!
I only hope that one day I can be as good as you at not trying to control things/people
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm SO glad you and Megan had a good day! And yeah, if you got her a "kick-a$$" coat...you are obviously a cool mom!
I only hope that one day I can be as good as you at not trying to control things/people
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Hugs, Marle
Hug giver-outer!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
Wow, just what does a "kick-a**" coat look like? lol
I am so glad that the day went well and I just love what you said:
Boy, ain't it the truth!!! I found that out, too. I just took the best of what my AD gave and because I don't try to control anything but my actions and my reactions. It's so much better.
My dear, you have come a very long way, just like me.
Hugs,
Marteen
I am so glad that the day went well and I just love what you said:
It is funny how much better things can be when I am not trying to control her or the outcome.
My dear, you have come a very long way, just like me.
Hugs,
Marteen
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
marle,
I am so happy your daughter spent some of Xmas with you.
It sounds encouraging to me that she EVEN thought to buy you something.
It's a good sign.
(I just pray the day comes soon that she dumps that BF)
Hugs
I am so happy your daughter spent some of Xmas with you.
It sounds encouraging to me that she EVEN thought to buy you something.
It's a good sign.
(I just pray the day comes soon that she dumps that BF)
Hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
The coat was really not anything special. It cost me $45 on sale but she was wearing an old hand me down that I gave her at Thanksgiving. So I think that she was grateful to get something that was new. I wish too that she would lose the abf but I know that she is where she needs to be right now. And so am I. Hugs to all of you, Marle
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Marle,
I am so happy for you that you got to spend some time with Megan on Christmas. Isn't it amazing how things change from day to day. Thinking you wouldn't see her and it turned out really nice. It was sweet of her to get you a present.
You are one kick--- mom.
Hugs.............Lo
I am so happy for you that you got to spend some time with Megan on Christmas. Isn't it amazing how things change from day to day. Thinking you wouldn't see her and it turned out really nice. It was sweet of her to get you a present.
You are one kick--- mom.
Hugs.............Lo
Hug giver-outer!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
Marle,
She'll lose him when and if she is ready to lose him. I know that where my AD is right now physically and mentally was all HER doing and for HER reasons. Because of that, it will be a lot stronger because it's what SHE wants; not what we want. The main thing she does know and she knows it well is that we have boundaries and we are willing to enforce and strengthen them when we need to. If she wants to stay within the bounds, her behavior needs to be "clean"; if not, she's out. That's HER decision to choose which and ours to enforce. It keeps a better balance that way.
I have learned that I cannot control her but I can control how much she controls ME. I'm a much more sane person because of that!
Hugs,
Marteen
She'll lose him when and if she is ready to lose him. I know that where my AD is right now physically and mentally was all HER doing and for HER reasons. Because of that, it will be a lot stronger because it's what SHE wants; not what we want. The main thing she does know and she knows it well is that we have boundaries and we are willing to enforce and strengthen them when we need to. If she wants to stay within the bounds, her behavior needs to be "clean"; if not, she's out. That's HER decision to choose which and ours to enforce. It keeps a better balance that way.
I have learned that I cannot control her but I can control how much she controls ME. I'm a much more sane person because of that!
Hugs,
Marteen
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
So glad you had a good day. In fact, it sounds very much like the Christmas I had with my AD. She was loving, appreciative, pleasant, and even brought gifts. I know we both deserved to be loved and appreciated on Christmas - and so do our daughters, using or not.
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