A Christmas Story
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
A Christmas Story
As I write this. Its Christmas.
I’ve had wonderful Christmases and horrific ones. At 47, I guess that’s to be expected.
I wanted to reach out for a moment to those who feel alone, on a day that society has made it so difficult not to feel cursed, or unloved, or unworthy.
If we could, just for a moment, take the religious meaning of Christmas out of the picture.
I arrived here a few years ago, feeling as if I had no more reason to live. Literally. It was the holidays, and my first born son was on a tear to be everything that is a parents worst nightmare come true…addicted to heroin, using abusing everything and everyone that was close to him. Given it was the holidays, I couldn’t think of ANYTHING that I was “blessed” with. I was a mess. I cried a million tears, I curled myself on the couch, I didn’t care about anything or anyone but him…and whether he would make it…and whether I could ever be the same again.
And here I am.
I am alone tonight…as I always am on Christmas Eve. That’s OK. In fact, I relish it. Tomorrow I will have a house full. Son isn’t the same as before, but he’s got a LOT of things he needs to work thorough…but that’s OK too.
I know I’m loved, even if that means that all isn’t perfect in my life, even if that means things aren’t as I had planned, even if at times, more often than I’d like, the one that loves me is ME.
Again, I take religion out of the equation (it’s a shame its become so far from it)
Tomorrow, the stores are closed. The world, just for a day, allows you to spend time with you. Even if that means a hot bath and a feel good movie.
To my friends here, at SR. You are loved.
I know that because I love you.
(((Hugs)))
Cece
I’ve had wonderful Christmases and horrific ones. At 47, I guess that’s to be expected.
I wanted to reach out for a moment to those who feel alone, on a day that society has made it so difficult not to feel cursed, or unloved, or unworthy.
If we could, just for a moment, take the religious meaning of Christmas out of the picture.
I arrived here a few years ago, feeling as if I had no more reason to live. Literally. It was the holidays, and my first born son was on a tear to be everything that is a parents worst nightmare come true…addicted to heroin, using abusing everything and everyone that was close to him. Given it was the holidays, I couldn’t think of ANYTHING that I was “blessed” with. I was a mess. I cried a million tears, I curled myself on the couch, I didn’t care about anything or anyone but him…and whether he would make it…and whether I could ever be the same again.
And here I am.
I am alone tonight…as I always am on Christmas Eve. That’s OK. In fact, I relish it. Tomorrow I will have a house full. Son isn’t the same as before, but he’s got a LOT of things he needs to work thorough…but that’s OK too.
I know I’m loved, even if that means that all isn’t perfect in my life, even if that means things aren’t as I had planned, even if at times, more often than I’d like, the one that loves me is ME.
Again, I take religion out of the equation (it’s a shame its become so far from it)
Tomorrow, the stores are closed. The world, just for a day, allows you to spend time with you. Even if that means a hot bath and a feel good movie.
To my friends here, at SR. You are loved.
I know that because I love you.
(((Hugs)))
Cece
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
(((((Cece)))))
Beautiful message, my friend. I hope you have a peaceful and pleasant holiday and that all of us here at SR do.
Two years ago this Christmas I had just learned that my daughter was addicted to heroin. I was not only shattered, I was totally clueless...no idea what addiction was like or that I was a partner in the dance. Christmas was day 3 of cold turkey...one of several over that winter. I too felt my world was coming to an end. I hadn't found SR yet, but soon it and finding meetings would make all the difference in the world.
Love you too, Cece
Beautiful message, my friend. I hope you have a peaceful and pleasant holiday and that all of us here at SR do.
Two years ago this Christmas I had just learned that my daughter was addicted to heroin. I was not only shattered, I was totally clueless...no idea what addiction was like or that I was a partner in the dance. Christmas was day 3 of cold turkey...one of several over that winter. I too felt my world was coming to an end. I hadn't found SR yet, but soon it and finding meetings would make all the difference in the world.
Love you too, Cece
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Merry Christmas, Cece.
Like you, I have spend Christmas knee deep in my son's addiction, and like you I have learned that life IS worth living no matter how dark our days may get sometimes.
This Christmas morning, like every other day, I will say a special prayer and ask God to take care of my son, then spend my day in peace and love, trusting that He will.
We may not be what Hallmark Cards project, but we're all family here and the love we share is second to none. I believe that's what Christmas is all about...love, hope, miracles and sharing our light. Maybe, just maybe, our Christmas's are closer to the true meaning than we think.
Hugs and Love
Like you, I have spend Christmas knee deep in my son's addiction, and like you I have learned that life IS worth living no matter how dark our days may get sometimes.
This Christmas morning, like every other day, I will say a special prayer and ask God to take care of my son, then spend my day in peace and love, trusting that He will.
We may not be what Hallmark Cards project, but we're all family here and the love we share is second to none. I believe that's what Christmas is all about...love, hope, miracles and sharing our light. Maybe, just maybe, our Christmas's are closer to the true meaning than we think.
Hugs and Love
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Merry Christmas cece, My daughter is coming, but last week when I thought that she was not, I made up my mind to have a good holiday and went through with all my plans. At first I was a little sad, but recovery has taught me to let go and let God and so I did not stay in that sad place for long. I am not merely faking it as I have in the past, I am really participating in the joy and peace of the holiday. Recovery rocks
Hugs, Marle
Hugs, Marle
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: toronto . ontario
Posts: 75
My Christmas eve morning started in bail court for my nephew , it didn't go so well but I am ok with it now . His sister who lives with us never came home last night and no one has heard from her other than my sister , her aunt , she called to ask if she could borrow 40$ to get her grandmother a present . Her father called to come and pick her up to go see his mother and I had to tell him she wasn't here .
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Thanks, Cece... as a mom who has spent more than one Christmas praying for the gift of sobriety for my kids - I get it.
How much has changed in three years! It has been like going to school one day knowing I'd forgotten something only to discover we've signed up for all the advanced classes!
What a relief to find out we are better at this than we ever believed we could be!
(((hugs)))
How much has changed in three years! It has been like going to school one day knowing I'd forgotten something only to discover we've signed up for all the advanced classes!
What a relief to find out we are better at this than we ever believed we could be!
(((hugs)))
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