FrankOregon

From previous post: she relapsed, weed and alcohol...more of her addictions to follow?

She texted (is this a real word) me yesterday. Told me she is getting back into her outpatient counseling. She told me she was really depressed and drinking way to much. There is still hope. Messaged me for over an hour. I couldn't just walk away like I told myself I would do if she relapsed, glad I didn't now. I only hope she can slay her dragons. She did good until she met up with old friends, and I use friends loosely. When she told me she was using again I never said a negative word. Maybe just being available to talk without being judgemental is enough. I guess I'll wait and see.

shockozulu

Frank, texted is a real word, as is texting

Just don't forget to take care of yourself first. If you do that, you can be there for her when she is recovering.

mooselips

Frank,
You have to do what feels comfortable for you. If it means standing by her, and seeing how it all comes out, then that's what you have to do.

Like Alera said, make sure you take care of YOU.


Hugs,

FrankOregon

Thanks for talking, I will come out of this alright no matter what she chooses to do. She isn't a girl friend, relative, just a close friend of the wife's and mine, before her rehab we just kinda knew each other. After became more than that (non sexual). Think I am more of a father figure to her. I remember her calling me two nights before going into rehab crying she was scared, but realized she needed to go and said she couldn't do it by herself. She used me as a sounding board so thought it was somewhat important to get involved with her recovery. Something her own father should of been part of. She tried to call him but he doesn't answer, he is an addict also as is her mom. I offered her my support and even went to visit her in rehab, he was invited but never showed. Then with the relapse she called me and talked to me about it, I didn't offer and advice and didn't ridicule her for failing, didn't offer sympathy, I just listened. Of course I hurt when she has trouble like one would for any close friend, but in the long term nothing that is going to do me great harm. If she fails it will hurt, I know it, my friends know it, the wife knows it, but I can't or won't give up on her, not when she keeps reaching out for help, she told me once when she was 4 months sober that why I was one of her closest friends is I was not judgemental of her. I don't really know where I am going with this other than to say thanks for the concern and later I hope everyone won't be able to tell me I told you so. Wish there was some secret to her recovery, I really think she wants and deserves it. I guess my 20 year military background has never left me, it instilled selfless service.