Language of Letting Go - Dec. 24 - Getting through the Holidays
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Language of Letting Go - Dec. 24 - Getting through the Holidays
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Getting Through the Holidays
For some, the sights, signs, and smells of the holidays bring joy and a warm feeling. But, while others are joyously diving into the season, some of us are dipping into conflict, guilt, and a sense of loss.
We read articles on how to enjoy the holidays, we read about the Christmas blues, but many of us still can't figure out how to get through the holiday season. We may not know what a joyous holiday would look and feel like.
Many of us are torn between what we want to do on the holiday, and what we feel we have to do. We may feel guilty because we don't want to be with our families. We may feel a sense of loss because we don't have the kind of family to be with that we want. Many of us, year after year, walk into the same dining room on the same holiday, expecting this year to be different. Then we leave, year after year, feeling let down, disappointed, and confused by it all.
Many of us have old, painful memories triggered by the holidays.
Many of us feel a great deal of relief when the holiday is ended.
One of the greatest gifts of recovery is learning that we are not alone. There are probably as many of us in conflict during the holidays than there are those who feel at peace. We're learning, through trial and error, how to take care of ourselves a little better each holiday season.
Our first recovery task during the holidays is to accept ourselves, our situation, and our feelings about our situation. We accept our guilt, anger, and sense of loss. It's all okay.
There is no right or perfect way to handle the holidays. Our strength can be found in doing the best we can, one year at a time.
This holiday season, I will give myself permission to take care of myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Getting Through the Holidays
For some, the sights, signs, and smells of the holidays bring joy and a warm feeling. But, while others are joyously diving into the season, some of us are dipping into conflict, guilt, and a sense of loss.
We read articles on how to enjoy the holidays, we read about the Christmas blues, but many of us still can't figure out how to get through the holiday season. We may not know what a joyous holiday would look and feel like.
Many of us are torn between what we want to do on the holiday, and what we feel we have to do. We may feel guilty because we don't want to be with our families. We may feel a sense of loss because we don't have the kind of family to be with that we want. Many of us, year after year, walk into the same dining room on the same holiday, expecting this year to be different. Then we leave, year after year, feeling let down, disappointed, and confused by it all.
Many of us have old, painful memories triggered by the holidays.
Many of us feel a great deal of relief when the holiday is ended.
One of the greatest gifts of recovery is learning that we are not alone. There are probably as many of us in conflict during the holidays than there are those who feel at peace. We're learning, through trial and error, how to take care of ourselves a little better each holiday season.
Our first recovery task during the holidays is to accept ourselves, our situation, and our feelings about our situation. We accept our guilt, anger, and sense of loss. It's all okay.
There is no right or perfect way to handle the holidays. Our strength can be found in doing the best we can, one year at a time.
This holiday season, I will give myself permission to take care of myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I have learned that Hallmark Christmas's just don't exist, but my very own special days with my own traditions and doing what works for me...is a great way to spend the day.
Do something nice for yourself...do something nice for others...THAT's the true spirit of Christmas.
Merry Christmas Everyone.
Do something nice for yourself...do something nice for others...THAT's the true spirit of Christmas.
Merry Christmas Everyone.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Thanks Ann!
I have been struggling some, and this year I am doing a smaller version of Christmas. We have a tree, the house is nicely yet simply decorated, etc. I am NOT doing all of the baking I normally do, as I don't need the fat or calories, and my kids aren't huge fans of sweets. I am NOT doing the huge meal... instead I am making a big pot of chili and we'll just eat and relax and enjoy each others' company.
The traditions may be changing a bit, but I think we will all be more happy and relaxed. And that works for me!
Merry Chriskwanzukkah to all.
I have been struggling some, and this year I am doing a smaller version of Christmas. We have a tree, the house is nicely yet simply decorated, etc. I am NOT doing all of the baking I normally do, as I don't need the fat or calories, and my kids aren't huge fans of sweets. I am NOT doing the huge meal... instead I am making a big pot of chili and we'll just eat and relax and enjoy each others' company.
The traditions may be changing a bit, but I think we will all be more happy and relaxed. And that works for me!
Merry Chriskwanzukkah to all.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
trying to get ready for christmas day & or any other holiday is a chore. i ask everyone what they are doing & nobody gives me an answer other than i don't know. i have not shopped for christmas dinner yet, can you believe that? i still do not know how many i am cooking for. i know this will be the last year of this. from now on i am not going to invite anyone. if they want to come on christmas day it will not be to eat. hope you all enjoy your day. it is christmas eve.
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