Totally Confused at this point!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: In the Heart of Dixie
Posts: 128
Totally Confused at this point!!!
Today the drug task force officer called me back, he is in the state and county my 18 year old AD is. I told him everything I knew so I asked him if I came to Alabama tomorrow if he would drive me by the house where Lauren is staying and to my surpris he said yes and if I was worried about her we could could go in the house and do a welfare check. I really want to see this woman whose house Lauren is at but then on the other hand I think it might hurt ME more than help. I know how mad Lauren will be and someone else told me that it might be a danger to me, bringing the police in there house where they are cooking meth but I am not sure. One part of me says they would not do anything to me but then again I am really not sure!! HELP!!!!:puppet
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
The choice is yours, but you may want to ask yourself if you will feel better or worse if the visit is made.
My bottom was driving over an hour to the city where my son was, driving right to the crackhouse where I knew I would find him. I threatened to kick down the door if he didn't come out (a stupid and dangerous move from a lady who would never kick anything). He came out, I spent the night at his apartment, and when I left the next day, he went right back there.
Addiction is just bigger than we are and there is nothing we can do to make it go away, not even for our children. Putting ourselves in harms way won't change anything for them but will make us feel worse in the end.
Again, the choice is yours, but personally I would never chase anyone who didn't want to be found again. Just my thoughts.
Hugs
My bottom was driving over an hour to the city where my son was, driving right to the crackhouse where I knew I would find him. I threatened to kick down the door if he didn't come out (a stupid and dangerous move from a lady who would never kick anything). He came out, I spent the night at his apartment, and when I left the next day, he went right back there.
Addiction is just bigger than we are and there is nothing we can do to make it go away, not even for our children. Putting ourselves in harms way won't change anything for them but will make us feel worse in the end.
Again, the choice is yours, but personally I would never chase anyone who didn't want to be found again. Just my thoughts.
Hugs
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
((((obsessed)))))
I can definatly understand your concern. 18 years old is so young. I haven't read many of your post so I don't know you all that well. I do remember when I was 18 and doing meth though. I remember how concerned my parents were about me. I still did what I wanted to do. I don't believe they ever did send the police after me how ever I did find myself around a lot of people that were getting busted. I did get clean from meth thank God! I haven't done any in over 20 years err closer to 30....anyway it is possible to get clean without your parents "help".
All of my siblings are still strung out on crack, alcohol, and anything elses they can do I am the only one who is clean and I was the one who did not get any help from them... so chew on that one a little.
In the begining of my drug use my parents did try to understand what was going on with me I left at 15 years old. I fed myself to the wolves so to say. I was very rebelous and determined to go my own way. I wish I had more direction back then but I still learned a lot.
I wonder if you know what she wants to do? Maybe you could send the police over to tell her that you said, "hey I thought you were going to college" or, whatever it maybe that you would say. I don't think I would go to another state for it though. If the police is willing to do a "wellness call" without you going then have him do it.
Remeber addiction will save itself over anything. You can do the same for yourself in dealing with it.
I can definatly understand your concern. 18 years old is so young. I haven't read many of your post so I don't know you all that well. I do remember when I was 18 and doing meth though. I remember how concerned my parents were about me. I still did what I wanted to do. I don't believe they ever did send the police after me how ever I did find myself around a lot of people that were getting busted. I did get clean from meth thank God! I haven't done any in over 20 years err closer to 30....anyway it is possible to get clean without your parents "help".
All of my siblings are still strung out on crack, alcohol, and anything elses they can do I am the only one who is clean and I was the one who did not get any help from them... so chew on that one a little.
In the begining of my drug use my parents did try to understand what was going on with me I left at 15 years old. I fed myself to the wolves so to say. I was very rebelous and determined to go my own way. I wish I had more direction back then but I still learned a lot.
I wonder if you know what she wants to do? Maybe you could send the police over to tell her that you said, "hey I thought you were going to college" or, whatever it maybe that you would say. I don't think I would go to another state for it though. If the police is willing to do a "wellness call" without you going then have him do it.
Remeber addiction will save itself over anything. You can do the same for yourself in dealing with it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
I once had the address of my AD's crack house ( a good tip when she had been missing), and the Newark NJ cops said, "the only way we will go there (becuase they don't want to get shot) is if YOU come with us." We were strongly advised not to go by some current and former cops we knew. It was obvious they were hoping we wouldn't take the deal and then they wouldn't have to go there and do there jobs.
Do you think this could be the same thing, or did this cop sound like he was actaully concerned?
If he/they are willing to go without you, by all means send them. Dealers should be arrested and users should also be arrested and hopefully (if she's 18it's a pretty good bet) sent to treatment by the courts.
I wouldn't go on a bust (or anywhere around meth people and cops) without at the least a bullet proof vest! But I would pursue sending the cops since there is a hope of treatment for your daughter if you do, and I believe in treatment whether is it voluntary or court ordered.
Do you think this could be the same thing, or did this cop sound like he was actaully concerned?
If he/they are willing to go without you, by all means send them. Dealers should be arrested and users should also be arrested and hopefully (if she's 18it's a pretty good bet) sent to treatment by the courts.
I wouldn't go on a bust (or anywhere around meth people and cops) without at the least a bullet proof vest! But I would pursue sending the cops since there is a hope of treatment for your daughter if you do, and I believe in treatment whether is it voluntary or court ordered.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
Save yourself, the images and pain are something you may carry for a long time. The things you will see, hear, smell all involving your precious daughter may be unbearable.
I've done very similar things while still trying to "fix". You can't, let go and let God. It lessens the pain!
said w/ caring, love, and experience,
susan
I've done very similar things while still trying to "fix". You can't, let go and let God. It lessens the pain!
said w/ caring, love, and experience,
susan
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Obsessed,
If there is a Meth lab there, and proof of using, I would think people in that home are going to be hauled away, and arrested, right then and there.
I would let HIM go, and report back to me.
Don't get yourself invovled in this drama.
Hugs to you,
If there is a Meth lab there, and proof of using, I would think people in that home are going to be hauled away, and arrested, right then and there.
I would let HIM go, and report back to me.
Don't get yourself invovled in this drama.
Hugs to you,
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
((((((((((((((((obsessed))))))))))))))))
I just want to echo the excellent advice above. as I was reading your post, I was quietly screaming, nooooo don't goooooooo, not your place to be.......
Obsessed, I know you are terrified and crazy with codieness, and you need to step back, and take care of you . Going there puts you in danger and will not stop her from using. Have you thought of seeking out an alanon meeting?
-From one mom of an AD to another
I just want to echo the excellent advice above. as I was reading your post, I was quietly screaming, nooooo don't goooooooo, not your place to be.......
Obsessed, I know you are terrified and crazy with codieness, and you need to step back, and take care of you . Going there puts you in danger and will not stop her from using. Have you thought of seeking out an alanon meeting?
-From one mom of an AD to another
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 472
JMO Having gone through this, my advice is to stay far away from the "
house". Police have the info they need-let them do their job. You also never know if the police are "part of the good ole boy system". You could be getting yourself involved in a hornets nest-you don't want to be in. It could get VERY nasty for you. Addicts stick together, remember that always!
You have to take care of you FIRST!!!!!!!!
house". Police have the info they need-let them do their job. You also never know if the police are "part of the good ole boy system". You could be getting yourself involved in a hornets nest-you don't want to be in. It could get VERY nasty for you. Addicts stick together, remember that always!
You have to take care of you FIRST!!!!!!!!
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Uh No, JMO, But do not go in that house. If he's asking you to go in that house, he's asking you to do his job.
And yes you do not want to see what goes on inside a drug house. I was taken inside one when I was in jr. high, and it scared the HELL out of me, I had no idea what I was going into, and that was awhile ago.
There's nothing good that can come of this, Can you drag her out of there?
can you cure her drug problem? can you bring her home? can you stop her from using? What can you do by going there? What can you fix?
You can end up just making yourself more obsessed, and upset, etc. and possibly put your life in danger.
No, No, No.....
Not a good thing to do. He's stupid for even suggesting that, what a moron.
You could end up hurt.
And yes you do not want to see what goes on inside a drug house. I was taken inside one when I was in jr. high, and it scared the HELL out of me, I had no idea what I was going into, and that was awhile ago.
There's nothing good that can come of this, Can you drag her out of there?
can you cure her drug problem? can you bring her home? can you stop her from using? What can you do by going there? What can you fix?
You can end up just making yourself more obsessed, and upset, etc. and possibly put your life in danger.
No, No, No.....
Not a good thing to do. He's stupid for even suggesting that, what a moron.
You could end up hurt.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
((((Obsessed))))
If there was a chance that I could get my daughter away from this evil I would do it......BUT, I wouldn't do it personally....I would let it up to the authorities. I'm surprised he wanted you to go with him. They are the experts, let them handle it. Whether your daughter is there or not that house should be raided since they are aware of what is going on in there.
I thought that is what drug task force do!!
I personally think the whole scenario would make you feel really bad. Sometimes what we don't know and see is better. Not that you should be in denial......goodness knows we all have educated ourselves and do know somewhat about what is going on, but why should we subject ourselves to it firsthand.
Think about it and keep yourself safe...............Lo
If there was a chance that I could get my daughter away from this evil I would do it......BUT, I wouldn't do it personally....I would let it up to the authorities. I'm surprised he wanted you to go with him. They are the experts, let them handle it. Whether your daughter is there or not that house should be raided since they are aware of what is going on in there.
I thought that is what drug task force do!!
I personally think the whole scenario would make you feel really bad. Sometimes what we don't know and see is better. Not that you should be in denial......goodness knows we all have educated ourselves and do know somewhat about what is going on, but why should we subject ourselves to it firsthand.
Think about it and keep yourself safe...............Lo
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 773
I find it hard to believe that this cop has the authority to check the well being of your daughter or bust this house in another state. I could be wrong but legally speaking this "super cop" cannot do anything. The cops heart is in the right place though.
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
I'm not trying to scare you, but these people are not going to feel all warm and fuzzy towards you when you walk in their house with the authorities.
Meth addicts alone can be extremely dangerous and unpredictable people ... but turning in a meth lab and outting yourself so that they know you did it is in my opinion OVER THE TOP .. OUT RIGHT dangerous to yourself.
I mean if and when these people get busted and they know you were the reason they got busted they are not going to be happy at all ... This is a major offense and many years behind prison can be spent because of it. I would in no way, shape or form give them any reason to think that you were behind it if I were you.
You know I know to much about that world and the people behind it and I fear for your safety. You know just because you are so and so's mom .. doesn't matter to a fried, burnt out ..drug hazed mind .. you are a threat to their freedom and if they got to spend time in jail because of you .. drug mentality says might as well spend time for a reason. The meth world is C R A Z Y beyond belief .. No one could put that kind of crap in their body and remain sane for long .. I mean they are snorting, shooting and smoking FULL ON CHEMICALS.
Just to name a few
Acetone
Anhydrous Ammonia
Battery Acid
Benzene
Chloroform
Drano
Ether
Freon
Hydrochloric Acid
Lye (Red Devil Lye)
Muriatic Acid
Paint Thinner
Toluene
White Gasoline
Here is just some of the things written on the net .. please take these into consideration ...
A methamphetamine abuser is most dangerous when tweaking. The fact that a law enforcement officer is confronting the tweaker makes him more dangerous, not just to the officer on the scene but also to anyone nearby. When tweaking, the abuser has probably not slept in 3-15 days and consequently will be extremely irritable. The tweaker craves more methamphetamine, but no dosage will help re-create the euphoric high. The result is a strong feeling of uncontrollable frustration that makes the tweaker unpredictable and dangerous.
If the law enforcement officer on the scene is unfamiliar with the physical signs of a tweaker, the abuser can appear normal. In fact, unlike a person intoxicated on alcohol with glassy eyes, slurred speech, and difficulty even standing up, a tweaker appears super-exaggerated normal. The tweaker's eyes are clear, his speech concise, and his movements brisk. With a closer look at the tweaker, law enforcement officers will notice that his eyes are moving about ten times faster than normal and may roll. He is talking in a quick, often steady voice with a slight quiver to it, and his movements are quick and jerky. The individual's movements are often exaggerated because he is overstimulated, and his thinking is scattered and subject to paranoid delusions.
The tweaker does not need provocation to react violently; however, confrontation increases the chance for a violent reaction. Law enforcement officers should consider the potential for violence when determining that a suspect is tweaking. For example, case histories indicate that tweakers react negatively to the sight of a police uniform. Confrontation between the tweaker and law enforcement often results in a verbal or physical assault on the officer.
Besides confrontation, nobody knows for certain what will trigger a tweaker to be irrational and violent. A tweaker exists in his own world, seeing and hearing things that no one else can perceive. His hallucinations are so vivid that they seem real. What law enforcement officers say and do enter into the abuser's altered reality, and if his paranoia is triggered, law enforcement appears to be a threat to the tweaker's life.
It is during tweaking that hostage situations can easily occur. If the abuser feels cornered, with no means of escape, the tweaker is likely to take a hostage, often an associate, a relative, or a police officer. In extreme cases, the tweaker may physically assault the hostage.
If the tweaker has chosen to ease his discomfort with alcohol, he becomes a disinhibited tweaker, making reasoning with him or even identifying him as a tweaker more difficult. Physical signs of a tweaker become blurred to an observer when the tweaker is using alcohol. Motor and speech functions, for example, become impaired, but not to the degree of a person using only alcohol. The rapid eye movement and the quick speech of a tweaker might actually slow to an apparently normal speed. However, a tweaker using alcohol can be identified in two ways:
1. First, individuals who can get close enough to see the tweaker's eyes should look for a horizontal-gaze nistagmus. This phenomenon occurs when the methamphetamine abuser, who is also using alcohol, looks out of the corner of his eyes, and the eyes jerk back and forth.
2. Second, if communication lines are open with the tweaker, ask the tweaker if he is using methamphetamine and then inquire if he is also drinking alcohol.
If a strong smell of alcohol is present, but no signs of drunkenness exist, one should err on the side of caution and approach the person as a tweaker using alcohol rather than assume the person is harmless. Because tweakers using alcohol are ordinarily not concerned with the consequences of their actions, a situation can quickly lead to violence.
Kansas Sheriff Killed in Confrontation at Methamphetamine Lab
www.drug-rehabs.org/con.php?cid=4861&state=Kansas
Police: 3 Found Dead After Incident At Central Florida Meth Lab
www.local6.com/news/14831138/detail.html
Indiana Girl's Murder Linked to Meth Lab
She was killed because she stumbled across a meth lab in her neighborhood. The 10-year-old's body was found January 30 in a creek several miles from her .... http://crime.about.com/b/2005/02/14/...o-meth-lab.htm
These people are down right crazy ..
I understand that you love your daughter and you are just trying to save her life, but please don't risk yours to do so.
Let go and let God
Passion
Meth addicts alone can be extremely dangerous and unpredictable people ... but turning in a meth lab and outting yourself so that they know you did it is in my opinion OVER THE TOP .. OUT RIGHT dangerous to yourself.
I mean if and when these people get busted and they know you were the reason they got busted they are not going to be happy at all ... This is a major offense and many years behind prison can be spent because of it. I would in no way, shape or form give them any reason to think that you were behind it if I were you.
You know I know to much about that world and the people behind it and I fear for your safety. You know just because you are so and so's mom .. doesn't matter to a fried, burnt out ..drug hazed mind .. you are a threat to their freedom and if they got to spend time in jail because of you .. drug mentality says might as well spend time for a reason. The meth world is C R A Z Y beyond belief .. No one could put that kind of crap in their body and remain sane for long .. I mean they are snorting, shooting and smoking FULL ON CHEMICALS.
Just to name a few
Acetone
Anhydrous Ammonia
Battery Acid
Benzene
Chloroform
Drano
Ether
Freon
Hydrochloric Acid
Lye (Red Devil Lye)
Muriatic Acid
Paint Thinner
Toluene
White Gasoline
Here is just some of the things written on the net .. please take these into consideration ...
A methamphetamine abuser is most dangerous when tweaking. The fact that a law enforcement officer is confronting the tweaker makes him more dangerous, not just to the officer on the scene but also to anyone nearby. When tweaking, the abuser has probably not slept in 3-15 days and consequently will be extremely irritable. The tweaker craves more methamphetamine, but no dosage will help re-create the euphoric high. The result is a strong feeling of uncontrollable frustration that makes the tweaker unpredictable and dangerous.
If the law enforcement officer on the scene is unfamiliar with the physical signs of a tweaker, the abuser can appear normal. In fact, unlike a person intoxicated on alcohol with glassy eyes, slurred speech, and difficulty even standing up, a tweaker appears super-exaggerated normal. The tweaker's eyes are clear, his speech concise, and his movements brisk. With a closer look at the tweaker, law enforcement officers will notice that his eyes are moving about ten times faster than normal and may roll. He is talking in a quick, often steady voice with a slight quiver to it, and his movements are quick and jerky. The individual's movements are often exaggerated because he is overstimulated, and his thinking is scattered and subject to paranoid delusions.
The tweaker does not need provocation to react violently; however, confrontation increases the chance for a violent reaction. Law enforcement officers should consider the potential for violence when determining that a suspect is tweaking. For example, case histories indicate that tweakers react negatively to the sight of a police uniform. Confrontation between the tweaker and law enforcement often results in a verbal or physical assault on the officer.
Besides confrontation, nobody knows for certain what will trigger a tweaker to be irrational and violent. A tweaker exists in his own world, seeing and hearing things that no one else can perceive. His hallucinations are so vivid that they seem real. What law enforcement officers say and do enter into the abuser's altered reality, and if his paranoia is triggered, law enforcement appears to be a threat to the tweaker's life.
It is during tweaking that hostage situations can easily occur. If the abuser feels cornered, with no means of escape, the tweaker is likely to take a hostage, often an associate, a relative, or a police officer. In extreme cases, the tweaker may physically assault the hostage.
If the tweaker has chosen to ease his discomfort with alcohol, he becomes a disinhibited tweaker, making reasoning with him or even identifying him as a tweaker more difficult. Physical signs of a tweaker become blurred to an observer when the tweaker is using alcohol. Motor and speech functions, for example, become impaired, but not to the degree of a person using only alcohol. The rapid eye movement and the quick speech of a tweaker might actually slow to an apparently normal speed. However, a tweaker using alcohol can be identified in two ways:
1. First, individuals who can get close enough to see the tweaker's eyes should look for a horizontal-gaze nistagmus. This phenomenon occurs when the methamphetamine abuser, who is also using alcohol, looks out of the corner of his eyes, and the eyes jerk back and forth.
2. Second, if communication lines are open with the tweaker, ask the tweaker if he is using methamphetamine and then inquire if he is also drinking alcohol.
If a strong smell of alcohol is present, but no signs of drunkenness exist, one should err on the side of caution and approach the person as a tweaker using alcohol rather than assume the person is harmless. Because tweakers using alcohol are ordinarily not concerned with the consequences of their actions, a situation can quickly lead to violence.
Kansas Sheriff Killed in Confrontation at Methamphetamine Lab
www.drug-rehabs.org/con.php?cid=4861&state=Kansas
Police: 3 Found Dead After Incident At Central Florida Meth Lab
www.local6.com/news/14831138/detail.html
Indiana Girl's Murder Linked to Meth Lab
She was killed because she stumbled across a meth lab in her neighborhood. The 10-year-old's body was found January 30 in a creek several miles from her .... http://crime.about.com/b/2005/02/14/...o-meth-lab.htm
These people are down right crazy ..
I understand that you love your daughter and you are just trying to save her life, but please don't risk yours to do so.
Let go and let God
Passion
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 472
I have a question. How can a police officer(expecially a DEA/Narcotics say they would go into a house and do a "welfare check"? Do they not need a search warrant? No drug house is going to let them in without one. Why would an officer allow a mother to go into such a house??? Something is wrong!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
I am in shock. I can't believe that a police officer would invite someone to go with him into a meth house full of users. He would be putting you in physical danger. The chemicals are dangerous. The meth heads are dangerous. Have you ever seen the movie Spun? That is serious stuff. And a pretty real view as to what you are letting yourself into. Or Salton Sea. Some people who use drugs like meth or crack are very dangerous to be around. They are unpredictable and don't care whose mother you are.
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