obsessed

My 18 year old AD has had a key to our house which is my grandmothers house who is 84, I had been thinking that she did not need a key to at this point. I texted her got no response so I called, phone not on so I got out my list of her druggie friends and explained to the girl that she had one hour to call me or I was coming with police to get my key. She finally called screaming and cursing me out and we meet and she throw the key at me and told me I would be dealt with so I don't know what that means. I had been thinking about how to get the key back and finally got my nerve to do it.....still feel kinda guilty and sad......:praying

Done_With_It

obsessed

I needed that!!! Thanks Done!!!!

Lobo

Boy, that really took a lot of courage. I know it makes you sad but you are proving to her that what she is doing is not okay and it cannot continue that way. She needs you, it will get her to thinking. Don't expect miracles overnight but it is a start.

Sending mom hugs your way............Lo

grateful2b

Hi Obsessed,
Good for you! Oh my goodness, that IS a big step.....when mine was that age I was up to my neck and mad with codieness. ( that's a word, right?) I look back at myself now and its hilarious. I have 23 yr old ad, so know how it goes....sorry about the guilt and sadness. Really glad that you did what you needed to do for YOU though.
.

greeteachday

Obsessed, I'm glad you were able to do this...it is a very big step. Saying no and not folding to manipulation is tough, but with each step it gets easier.


Don't feel guilty...when her actions show she is ready to be trusted, you will know. For now, you have to protect yourself and your grandmother. Hugs!

Easeful

Hey Obsessed,

I'm not saying this is what you were doing.......

I'm facing a similair situation myself and I'm pretty sure the scene of demanding the keys from my AS would be all about making it perfectly clear to him how unhappy I am with his current choices and would be about me trying to force a decision point on his part. It's not as satisfying from a venting stand point, but I've gone with changing the locks. Of course it's more expensive, but then I have no idea who he's given copies to or where he's left his keys and so it seems worth the extra expense to me. I'll deal with his dismay over finding that his keys no longer fit, if and when it happens. Until then, I'll sleep a little better at night.

Good luck and prayers to you!! I hope this works out the way you need.

caileesnana

Oh the times we changed locks, demanded keys, took off battery cables...they finally do get the message but it took my 'slow learner' a long time. You have to do what you say and keep your boundries, otherwise, she is in control!

Your house, your rules. period!
susan

lostparent

You've taken a stand that's what in important, maybe it will make a difference with your daughter maybe not. But for it shows you are getting stronger which is good for you. Keeping you in my prayers.

pjbs55

I'm glad you did what you felt you had to for you and your grandmom. I am praying that she gets it sooner rather than later. I too changed my locks since I was not sure who had me key.
Take care of you and know your HP is walking with you.
Hugs from another mom

rahsue

I think we get so used to our addicts being in control that we forget how to control our lives on our own, so you got some of your power back.

mooselips

obsessed,
Good for you, and getting some control back of YOUR life.
I remember when we kicked the youngest son out, he put up a tent in our back woods, where we could see it everyday, and lived in it for 2 months.
Gosh, I think how hard that time was. My heart was just squeezed everytime I saw that tent....glad those days are done.

For today he is sober, and has moved way up, he lives in a real apartment.


Hugs to you...
Be prepared for some real unhappiness from her...now that she lost her warm place to fall....