lightseeker

what's that saying "when donkey's fly?" Well, I think that I saw one today when RAH decided to go to Alanon. I'm sure that some of you have caught the drift that it's been a rocky road with my abstinent husband. Living life on life's terms and all.....mainly trying to control me and fix me. Sound a little bit codie? He really has not struggled with staying away from crack/alcohol/opiotes (by God's grace) but has struggled massively with alot of "isms". It finally occurred to me that I have been on the receiving end of a lot of codie behavior. My FIL was an alcoholic and I am a double winner so RAH definitely qualifies. I've really tried to practice my program in all of my affairs and have stayed out of RAH's program (or lack thereof). He got to thinking that maybe Alanon might be something to check out. He even has realized how unmanageable his life is. Our message is so strong - stay on your own side of the street and the only thing that you can change is yourself. It was interesting to hear it from RAH's view....telling me afterwards how much sense it all made and how he got a lot more out of it than he does AA these days.

I've always seen the parallel between my addiction to him and his addiction to drugs. Kind of interesting that it really does work both ways.

HP definitely had me with a gaping mouth and wide eyes today.

...and very appreciative of the message that we carry.

Donna

greeteachday

(((((Donna)))))
Hey there, my friend...That's terrific. I hope he decides to hang out with Alanon for awhile. I tend to belive that behind every addict/alcoholic is a codie...I just suspect the codie-ism is a big part of why drugs or alcohol are used to numb the pain. I bet your RAH will get a lot out of Alanon. I hope this opens a whole new path for both of you. You both deserve the best life has to offer. Love you Donna. Hugs

Impurrfect

(((Donna)))

Your RAH reminds me of me. I'm doing okay as far as addiction recovery, but still trying to get the hang of my codie recovery!! I agree with greet - I think a lot, if not most, addicts are codie. I know that when I relapsed, it began with a situation I had absolutely no control over it. This was obviously before I discovered SR and how to work on being a recovering codie.

Best wishes to both of you.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

outonalimb

Donna,

I think that's awesome news !!

Alanon is such a powerful program. The things I've learned help me deal with (and get a better perspective) of life in general and not just codependence. Its great that he is open to its teachings...

Big hugs:ghug3

lightseeker

thanks to each of you.....I believe all of that too. RAH has never been able to step past his rationale of AA (it's all about not taking a drink and he doesn't want to drink). In Alanon, we just get straight to the root of the problem - life is unmanageable and how do you cope with that? He's managed to string two even keeled days together. At least maybe he'll consider this again when he is hijacked.


Love!