what have i done?????
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: north carolina
Posts: 139
i just wanted to say quickly, that all day at work i couldn't wait to home and read what you guys had to say...i think very highly of all of your opinions and comments...i never had any idea this thread would get so much attention...i have read some but not all...i have some reading to do now...i already have much to say...i will be back later...thank you so much...s
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: falmouth ma
Posts: 28
How addiction can make us do things we would never think of with our those drugs being in the picture.
Don't beat yoursefl up. At some point in time we all can break. Stick to your guns.
If AA works for you use it, take some and leave some. Alanon has helped me but it won't solve the problem or make it go away.
Don't forget to take care of you
Trisha
Don't beat yoursefl up. At some point in time we all can break. Stick to your guns.
If AA works for you use it, take some and leave some. Alanon has helped me but it won't solve the problem or make it go away.
Don't forget to take care of you
Trisha
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: At the zoo
Posts: 244
((((((sjr)))))
Hugs for you
I won't address all the junk thats gone before.
You reached your breaking point, so you probably won't go there again.
Your daughter was acting like an addict and a spoiled brat to boot.
You acted like someone who was backed into a corner, I think we've all been there. I know I had someone who could hold me back one time when I was giving my ad's x bf h*!! for taking her out when I said no going out, I was afraid that I would really lose it. I've had to walk away from my ad on more than one occasion, just so I wouldn't smack her a shot.
You're human, we all are......
Hugs for you
I won't address all the junk thats gone before.
You reached your breaking point, so you probably won't go there again.
Your daughter was acting like an addict and a spoiled brat to boot.
You acted like someone who was backed into a corner, I think we've all been there. I know I had someone who could hold me back one time when I was giving my ad's x bf h*!! for taking her out when I said no going out, I was afraid that I would really lose it. I've had to walk away from my ad on more than one occasion, just so I wouldn't smack her a shot.
You're human, we all are......
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
some of you may remember the night i drug my son's agf out of my house by her hair? she only had on underwear and a t-shirt. lol
ooops! this is about regret, isn't it?
okay, so i'm not sorry for that one.
Hugs to you, sjr.
ooops! this is about regret, isn't it?
okay, so i'm not sorry for that one.
Hugs to you, sjr.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: north carolina
Posts: 139
hey guys, just wanted to say last night ended up being another crap night so i still have not had the chance to read all of your post. i did however print them so i can take them to work and read!
i will say i handled myself better last night, even though she was trying to push every button i had to the point of kicking my chair and saying 'go ahead hit me, hit me again' while she was sitting there with a little smirk on her face.
i can't say i didn't wanna!! but i CAN say I DIDN'T!
thanks again so much ....S
i will say i handled myself better last night, even though she was trying to push every button i had to the point of kicking my chair and saying 'go ahead hit me, hit me again' while she was sitting there with a little smirk on her face.
i can't say i didn't wanna!! but i CAN say I DIDN'T!
thanks again so much ....S
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 33
She's pushing your buttons because she has a need to get into the cycle. My ex-wife pushed buttons so that she could start a fight and have a reason to use again. It's their brain looking for a reason to use. They don't want to, but they want to.
So what do you do? The answer is not to give her what she wants. Maybe she'll use and maybe she won't, but at least you'll know that you didn't get sucked in and contribute to her cycle.
So what do you do? The answer is not to give her what she wants. Maybe she'll use and maybe she won't, but at least you'll know that you didn't get sucked in and contribute to her cycle.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
sjr -
yep, she's pushing your buttons but glad you didn't respond. The HARDEST thing for me to learn, with my niece, is to walk away when she starts this. I would get so mad and be literally shaking and it would take me forever to calm down. One day, I walked back to my room. I could still here her mouth, so turned up the TV to drown her out and locked the doors so she couldn't get in. Luckily, I have my laptop in my room, so I come straight to SR to calm down
When she didn't have anyone to argue with, she shut up.
I can't say it works every time...my natural instinct is to argue back with her, but I'm getting better.....progress, not perfection!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
yep, she's pushing your buttons but glad you didn't respond. The HARDEST thing for me to learn, with my niece, is to walk away when she starts this. I would get so mad and be literally shaking and it would take me forever to calm down. One day, I walked back to my room. I could still here her mouth, so turned up the TV to drown her out and locked the doors so she couldn't get in. Luckily, I have my laptop in my room, so I come straight to SR to calm down
When she didn't have anyone to argue with, she shut up.I can't say it works every time...my natural instinct is to argue back with her, but I'm getting better.....progress, not perfection!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
remember to breathe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
Better days ahead!!!!
That which does not kill us makes us stronger
sorry I had to use 2 cliche's but they seem to fit. Your a good, caring and loving mom, don't think on the situation too long.
hugs and prayers
That which does not kill us makes us stronger
sorry I had to use 2 cliche's but they seem to fit. Your a good, caring and loving mom, don't think on the situation too long.
hugs and prayers
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
what reading!!!!
You're still in my prayers, I understand how hard this is. My daughter lied when I was arrested, then a couple of years later she threatened me, actually her friend said "I'll whip her as* and tell the cops you did it!" I went straight to the JP, who did nothing because they hadn't touched me! It's a viscious circle. I truly know what drug addicted girls are capable of--depending on the drug they have 'super human strength" and don't give a damn, except about drugs!!!
I forgot how old your daughter is, but if she is underage there is more help.
Thinking and praying for you,
susan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: north carolina
Posts: 139
ummm...all i can say is WOW!!
it is sunday morning and after several days i have finally been able to sit down and read all of these posts.
THANK YOU ALLLLLLLLL SOOOO MUCH!!!
your support, encouragement and wisdom since i have joined this forum have been life saving.
i have cried, smiled and pure tee laughed out loud while reading these!!
when i wrote this thread originally i was very down in the dumps it was a horrible night...
i want to speak directly to frescan quickly~i hope you will read this.
i am actually very glad i have not been able to get on here and read the post until now...i have had several days to calm down and think a little more clearly. thank you for apology at the end there, but i would really like to ask you to please be sure of 'where' you are posting if you are going to speak to someone like that. had i came here and read the things you wrote that same day, you alone would of cancelled out all of the wonderful things the others said to me. and believe me, you would have pushed me over the edge i was already tetering on. i grew up in a home with an alcoholic abusive father. i always said i would never marry a man that hit, nor would i ever hit my child in anger....he showed me the way i did not want to live. i have to live with hitting my child for the rest of my life.~~anyhow the last thing i'd like to say is...i don't know your story at all. but i will say that even though you thought you we're "dealing with a bunch of drunks" how was any of what you said supportive? no need to respond to me...just my opinion, i am fairly new to this forum and just can't imagine why someone would go on a random thread and start bashing.
enough of that.
to all of you other guys...YOUR AWESOME!
thank you so much for helping me pick myself up and yeah i really did feel like you have, what was it...my front back and sides....lol
the next night like i mentioned was just as bad...except for the fact i did notgo there. she said some of the most hurtful things she has ever said to me... one in particular being 'if you weren't ready for having the responsibilities of a child you should of had an abortion' !!!!!!!!!!!!! my own kid said that to me! huh??????? i really couldn't even think of anything to respond with, i just sat there looking at her. i had been trying to get on the computer to come on here and she just kept coming into the room and wouldn't leave me alone. she sat in the chair beside me and kept pushing the back of my chair with her foot. i told her just to please leave me alone. i was so tired had 3 hours of sleep and had worked allllll day. SHE decided we were going to talk about it. and come hell or high water that was going to happen. i ended up feeling myself getting very angry and finally just went in my room and locked the door. she calls my poor mom and midnight or so...and cries to my mom how i am being so mean to her and won't talk about anything, and how we needed to work stuff out and i just didn't want to...i just let it go.......
i go to work the next day come home, my legs are very very swollen from working so much and lack of sleep, stress, all the good stuff that comes from living with an addict. i sit down on the couch to watch tv and prop my legs up with heat pads. she starts AGAIN!! my mom had just left my house trying to convince me to go to er cause of my legs...i was just to exhausted....i just wanted to rest! SHE WOULD NOT STOP!!! i lost it again...thinking at this point a little bit of crazy is coming out of me!! i didn't lose it like before, but i did alot of yelling. she runs to the phone to call my mom and complain as usual ...this is funny....hands me the phone cause she thinks my mom is going to reprimand me!! at this point i had calmed down and simply told mom i love you but i don't want to talk about addiction, or drugs, or anything or to anyone right now, i just want to rest. i will call you tomorrow. the end. the daughter stomps out of the room continuing to rant to my mom i put on my shoes picked up my purse and went and spent the night with my boyfriend. AND FINALLY GOT SOME DAG ON SLEEP!!! YEAH!
i haven't seen her since friday night. it's the weekend, i never do.who knows what tonight will hold. i am hoping... not much at all!
i haven't figured out yet what to do.
i can't kick her out. she is sixteen. north carolina law says i am legally responsible for her until she is eighteen.
i have decided that from now on starting tonight when she comes home looking like butt from her party weekend if she starts i will call the cops.
at least like you said, there will be a record of it.
at some point the police department may get tired of looking at me!! and actually do something. i am going to call the jeuvenille center tomorrow and see if they can offer me any suggestions. actually i will probaly go there because i have called a dozen times before, always having to leave messages and no one ever calls back.
i can't remember who said that i was trying to 'pay' her to stay clean. i never thought of it that way. but it makes total sence. in my head i was thinking it was an incentive. ha thanks for saying that. i won't use it anymore. but i am still not give her a darn dime.
i hope the day will come when i have words of wisdom for others like so many of you have had for me.
i read so many post and all i can think of is how it sucks that we all are going through so much of the same things we a loved one.
it breaks my heart that my kid, your kid, husband, wife, loved one has been taken in by addiction. my sincere hope that is one day we will all just be able to come on here just to say hi to one another and offer support to newcomers in their struggles. as for now...i feel like i am not quite a newcomer, but definatly not as cool as you guys!!
YOU GUYS ROCK!!
THANKS AGAIN SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!
ps:
to devasted jp....
i didn't break any nails! lol
to bookmiser:
the hair thing...that was a good one...no regrets!
to miss cece:
i am glad you didn't lock this down when it was getting ugly, it made for some great reading!!
it is sunday morning and after several days i have finally been able to sit down and read all of these posts.
THANK YOU ALLLLLLLLL SOOOO MUCH!!!
your support, encouragement and wisdom since i have joined this forum have been life saving.
i have cried, smiled and pure tee laughed out loud while reading these!!
when i wrote this thread originally i was very down in the dumps it was a horrible night...
i want to speak directly to frescan quickly~i hope you will read this.
i am actually very glad i have not been able to get on here and read the post until now...i have had several days to calm down and think a little more clearly. thank you for apology at the end there, but i would really like to ask you to please be sure of 'where' you are posting if you are going to speak to someone like that. had i came here and read the things you wrote that same day, you alone would of cancelled out all of the wonderful things the others said to me. and believe me, you would have pushed me over the edge i was already tetering on. i grew up in a home with an alcoholic abusive father. i always said i would never marry a man that hit, nor would i ever hit my child in anger....he showed me the way i did not want to live. i have to live with hitting my child for the rest of my life.~~anyhow the last thing i'd like to say is...i don't know your story at all. but i will say that even though you thought you we're "dealing with a bunch of drunks" how was any of what you said supportive? no need to respond to me...just my opinion, i am fairly new to this forum and just can't imagine why someone would go on a random thread and start bashing.
enough of that.
to all of you other guys...YOUR AWESOME!
thank you so much for helping me pick myself up and yeah i really did feel like you have, what was it...my front back and sides....lol
the next night like i mentioned was just as bad...except for the fact i did notgo there. she said some of the most hurtful things she has ever said to me... one in particular being 'if you weren't ready for having the responsibilities of a child you should of had an abortion' !!!!!!!!!!!!! my own kid said that to me! huh??????? i really couldn't even think of anything to respond with, i just sat there looking at her. i had been trying to get on the computer to come on here and she just kept coming into the room and wouldn't leave me alone. she sat in the chair beside me and kept pushing the back of my chair with her foot. i told her just to please leave me alone. i was so tired had 3 hours of sleep and had worked allllll day. SHE decided we were going to talk about it. and come hell or high water that was going to happen. i ended up feeling myself getting very angry and finally just went in my room and locked the door. she calls my poor mom and midnight or so...and cries to my mom how i am being so mean to her and won't talk about anything, and how we needed to work stuff out and i just didn't want to...i just let it go.......
i go to work the next day come home, my legs are very very swollen from working so much and lack of sleep, stress, all the good stuff that comes from living with an addict. i sit down on the couch to watch tv and prop my legs up with heat pads. she starts AGAIN!! my mom had just left my house trying to convince me to go to er cause of my legs...i was just to exhausted....i just wanted to rest! SHE WOULD NOT STOP!!! i lost it again...thinking at this point a little bit of crazy is coming out of me!! i didn't lose it like before, but i did alot of yelling. she runs to the phone to call my mom and complain as usual ...this is funny....hands me the phone cause she thinks my mom is going to reprimand me!! at this point i had calmed down and simply told mom i love you but i don't want to talk about addiction, or drugs, or anything or to anyone right now, i just want to rest. i will call you tomorrow. the end. the daughter stomps out of the room continuing to rant to my mom i put on my shoes picked up my purse and went and spent the night with my boyfriend. AND FINALLY GOT SOME DAG ON SLEEP!!! YEAH!
i haven't seen her since friday night. it's the weekend, i never do.who knows what tonight will hold. i am hoping... not much at all!
i haven't figured out yet what to do.
i can't kick her out. she is sixteen. north carolina law says i am legally responsible for her until she is eighteen.
i have decided that from now on starting tonight when she comes home looking like butt from her party weekend if she starts i will call the cops.
at least like you said, there will be a record of it.
at some point the police department may get tired of looking at me!! and actually do something. i am going to call the jeuvenille center tomorrow and see if they can offer me any suggestions. actually i will probaly go there because i have called a dozen times before, always having to leave messages and no one ever calls back.
i can't remember who said that i was trying to 'pay' her to stay clean. i never thought of it that way. but it makes total sence. in my head i was thinking it was an incentive. ha thanks for saying that. i won't use it anymore. but i am still not give her a darn dime.
i hope the day will come when i have words of wisdom for others like so many of you have had for me.
i read so many post and all i can think of is how it sucks that we all are going through so much of the same things we a loved one.
it breaks my heart that my kid, your kid, husband, wife, loved one has been taken in by addiction. my sincere hope that is one day we will all just be able to come on here just to say hi to one another and offer support to newcomers in their struggles. as for now...i feel like i am not quite a newcomer, but definatly not as cool as you guys!!
YOU GUYS ROCK!!
THANKS AGAIN SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!
ps:
to devasted jp....
i didn't break any nails! lol
to bookmiser:
the hair thing...that was a good one...no regrets!
to miss cece:
i am glad you didn't lock this down when it was getting ugly, it made for some great reading!!
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