Functioning Addict???
 

My boyfriend may have a drug dependency problem - right now he is snooting oxycontin - he says that it is like a vacation cos he works all day long -

which he def does - hes an IT guy so he works from home and makes a nice influx of $$$.

I won't lie - its makes me uncomfortable to see him do any kind of drugs - However, after talking to one of my friends she made the comment that its ok to do drugs if you are a "functioning addict"..... any thoughts???

Its not okay and he won't always stay a "functioning addict". Addiction progresses and gets deeper and deeper. Most addicts either recover or end up in jails, institutions or dead.

Also, if I don't like something that I have the ability to change, I do that. I deserve more than to have a husband/bf who works all day then comes home and goes on "vacation".


Are you happy with it?

I've known addicts who could function, some for several years - until they couldn't anymore. There are far more healthier ways to get a break from work. Oxy's are EXTREMELY addictive, expensive (from what I hear), and not to mention...illegal when used like he is.

You may want to read some of the posts here and on the substance abuse forum and think about if you really want to go down this path with him. I hope not, for your sake. I am a recovering addict, and I hope I NEVER volunteer to get in a relationship again with anyone who uses drugs/alcohol to "escape" life.

Oh, and welcome to SR!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

He will progress, I do understand the concept of functioning addict, but it only lasts for so long, the party always ends, especially if he's snorting it.

But personally what I would focus on more is the fact that it makes you unconformable, that's the only thing you have control over.

I agree, they can only function for so long...mine functioned for 10 years, then progression really started coming rapidly. trust your gut on what is right for your life. Will he stop if it makes you uncomfortable?
Welcome to SR it is such a great place to learn and ask questions!!

Functional or not HE IS STILL AN ADDICT

Addiction is progressive

It is all about T I M E

In time even the most functional addict can be brought down my addiction

I'm sure that there are many addicts that can say @ some point they were "functional addicts", but with time and use they became
D Y S F U N C T I O N A L

Drug addiction has only one direction

D
O
W
N
W
A
R
D
sometimes 6 ft under

You don't have to be a strung out dysfunctional drug addict to die a drug related death. EVEN FUNCTIONAL ADDICTS CAN DIE DRUG DEATHS.

I wonder if your friend "Lets call her Ms. Informed" would be as willing to sign his death certificate as she is to cosign his addiction...

The man is shooting up (that is intense) I mean seriously even drug addicts know that when you are sticking needles in your veins to get high YOU'VE CROSSED SOME SERIOUS BOUNDARIES (I speak from experience) If he once was a snorter, smoker or pill popper and now he shoots HE IS SLOWLY, BUT SURELY IN THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL .. descending downward .. further and further into the pit of addiction madness.

There are things to consider like I said above .. did he once smoke, snort, pop these oxys? How many did it use to take for him to get high? Has he had to increase the amounts to reach a satisfying rush? Has his drug of choice changed over the years? How long has he been using? If I had to guess I'd say yes to the questions above and I'd say he's been using for years.

Its all apart of the downward spiral of addiction ....

Hard cold reality = What goes up, must come down....

I'm glad you found your way to SR ... I'm sorry if my reply sounds mean, harsh, cold or cruel .. it isn't intended to hurt you .. and I know it is not what you want to hear ... but it is real and true= The truth and YOU need to know it.

I spent many years in active addiction ... I had many friends who were addicted many of us were at one time "functioning addicts* who were on the downward spiral and didn't even know it ... ended up dysfunctional (didn't even realize that was what it was) just thought we were getting high, partying .. just doin' what we do. Many of us so blind and oblivious we didn't get out in time and lives were lost to senseless deaths ..

He's on the train ... and its headed for destruction ... He can't continue using and function forever ... That I promise you.

I hope you will stick around here ... knowledge is power ... learn all you can about his drug of choice .. about addiction, enabling, codependency, detachment with love .... for this is recommended priceless information for anyone who journeys life loving an addict.

Passion

Is he snorting or shooting? I thought you meant snorting

Done ...

I suppose snooting could be snorting, but I figured it was a typo and she meant shooting? LOL

****{shrug}}}

Different methods ~~ Same madness.

Hey
 

I appreciate all of the responses that have been posted - its a great relief to find guidance and people to relate to.

My boyfriend is currently snorting the oxy - as far as i kno he has never shot up - but im sure his sister has - she is a recovering crack addict - so he is not a stranger - and that threat is present - though i pray that he would never go that far

I didnt think any of the responses were harsh or mean and I truly appreciate the candidness. I've only been in this relationship for 3 months but I have my eyes wide open.

My bf thought he had it under control... and he has spent a few thousand on oxys in over a year... grant it I'm not so sure how much he really has spent, but I know it has to be more than a thousand.

One pill goes for about $10-$25 EACH!

Read up on snorting if your intuition is not loud enough for you to hear it... it's really really dangerous. Your A... he may play it off like it's not a big deal... i know mine did!

So... what did you guys agree on? He does it in front of you... or tells you about it? What is going to happen when you can tell he is acting "different' and "closed off"... and he is saying he isn't doing the drugs? That is such a long and hard road to go down... trust me when I say this... it will make you crazy!

SO... if anything, my advice is to keep all the lines of communication and lead an authentic life yourself; as well as, one together.

It is then that all the cards are face up and you know if this is a life you are comfortable with living. Otherwise, be grateful he is being honest and showing you all his cards... so you can make an informed decision.


I have been in your shoes... you will have to make this choice for YOU and on your own... but read some of these stories on here... this could be your life.. if you continue... and I'd let him know where your concerns are.

My sis in law... after going out on a few dates with my brother, he pulled out the Coke... and she said (and I'm so proud of her for this).... she said...

Throw that out... in front of me... or do it in front of me! BUT if you use it - be guaranteed that you will never hear from me again, much less see me. IF only I had been so smart to do that when I saw the first time him snorting an oxy... instead i stewed and then freaked out when he did it again... and then said NO MORE. But he kept on with it, only difference is... he lied about it.

My daughter thought she had it under control when she snorted oxys. They soon become expensive and heroin is cheaper so she went that route. Has lost everything and can't go a day without her fix. So a more truer test of whether he is addicted or not is "Can he go without them?" Hugs, Marle

Ditto... Well said. The Truth...

((((((Justsomegyrl))))))

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...2525252520.gif

My 26 yo son is the addict in my life. He was shooting heroin for 5 years.
That's how long it took him to hit rock bottom. He went to jail and got
clean from it. He will always be an addict.
I'm glad your here to share and I hope you continue coming to sr.
It's a great place.
The only thing left to say is, if you've only been seeing him for 3 months...
your d*mn lucky.
Some of us have been dealing with an addicted loved one for many years.
My advice...
Don't stay to try to "fix" him. Only he can do that, and remember the
3 c's:
1. You didn't cause it.
2. You can't control it.
3. You can't cure it.
Keep coming back and read around. The more you know, the more you'll grow.
Hugs,

I used to be addicted to meth, snorted it. In the beginning and for a long time a $30.00 bag lasted me a month or more. Then one day I realized I was using two bags a month, I still wasn't really too scared yet, because I was still at that point where I did have control of it, it 'didn't "HAVE" "ME" yet...

Then it still took a while I didn't 'have' to have it for awhile, I didn't use it 'everyday'.

Then I noticed Hey? am I using more than I think I am? When did I use, maybe I need to slow down. So I did, I got a calender,
lol, I know, I bought a calender just to keep track, and a red marker.
Put red X's on the days I used.
Twice a week I was only allowed, and I was okay with that.

Then I was like I'm too tired, I have to work, only this time I'll use three times.

My calender over the months went back and forth, it was actually pathetically sad looking at me 'trying' to not use, the red X's on some weeks, or a
1/2 a red X on some days,
Till a few years later everyday was a red X, by then of course the
METH HAD ME.....

And still I remember crying starring at my calender, wondering,
omg, am I really addicted?

Getting thrown in the back of a cop car, and a talking to is what
convinced me....

In the beginning I had no idea it would ever get so bad.
But it always does...
It's not a life, I would ever get mixed into now, as a user now,
or with a person who was using.

If you choose to stay with a person who is using, your not just
staying with the user, but his lifestyle, which includes dealers,
and the whole drug life. It's a dark world. I wouldn't do it.
It's too much for me.

I have watched 6 people die from snorting oxys. it is one of the most dangerous things out there.

go to oxyabusekills.com my friend runs that website,(his son was one of the 6)

I have watched 6 people die from snorting oxys. it is one of the most dangerous things out there.

go to oxyabusekills.com my friend runs that website,(his son was one of the 6)