sjr

i see these kids with lack of disrespect for anyone, usually including themselves,....i hear these kids speak to their parents worse than they would their dog....i live with a kid that has totally lost her mind!!!

the nation seems to be in a blame game...
the parents want to blame the schools...the schools want to blame the parents...everybody wants to blame the system...

i think in a way, all those things are correct....the school teaches kids parents can't spank...i tell ya, i got my butt tore up when i deserved, and it didn't kill me!!! i remembered vividly getting my hiney spanked for thinking i was grown enough to go to the mailbox beside the road by myself!!~~you know what, i didn't do that again!

~~i can't believe that all of these kids parents didn't teach them manners. i know i did mine!! i am a southern girl, and in my house yes ma'am, no ma'am we're mandatory.......now, i don't think my daughter remembers how to form those words...~~how did that happen????

~~parents teach kids teachers can't talk to you that way...do the kids even show teachers respect anymore, or do they have to "yell" above their voices in the classroom...and heaven forbid, definately no paddle from the principle...that would make national news!

~~the system....grrrrrr...i can't even go there~~if you have an addicted child you've dealt with the system

........what brings this rant on is a phone call i recieved tonight from one of my daughter's friends Dad....he was worried sick asking if i had seen or heard from his son. (an (alleged)"former" addict)....this poor man had no clue where his kid has been for three days...oohhhh, how i can feel his pain.i fortunatly know where my daughter is tonight, but, on more than one occasion i have not known. very, very recently actually.

~~it has just got me to thinking, how did we loose control over our kids? how did our, or at least mine, turn into this hellacious teenager? I know all the teenagers are not on drugs, or entirely disrespectful, but ....dag....there sure are alot of them!!!! how did parents loose the connection with the parents of their kids friends? I really don't know! i know i did. my daughter would run off and stay overnight at someone's house and tell them i kicked her out, or some other line of crap...never has a parent called me to say...S your daughter is here with us.

~~maybe i am over analyzing things right now...but i have been finding myself quite angry over the past couple of days. wondering how i lost control of my own home. i am doing better in taking my life back. and doing somethings for me...even planning a xmas get together with co-workers at my house this weekend (gave me a reason to decorate...i wasn't gonna).......i am just finding it hard to let her "be" until she is ready, as i watch her and so many of these kids **** their life away...it makes me soooo angry. so many are so smart and bright beautiful young people...who have their whole lives ahead of them, ~~if they make it that far. i love 'most' of my daughter's friends dearly, and right now they just all annoy me. even the ones that aren't on drugs are smartmouths!!

again just GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

that's my rant for the day...thanks for listening! ......S

pjbs55

sjr,
I call them the ME generation. You owe ME, I want that, etc. You are correct if we acted like they do we would have been beaten. I know I was plenty of times, even when I didn't do it.
I say when they hit 12 they become aliens and stay that way until they are in their 20's. My children were taught manners and respect but when they hit that wonderful age of 12 they turned into monsters.
Good luck
Hugs coming for a mom here that knows how you feel

Miss Pink

probably because we werent given an instruction booklet on how to be *effective* parents in knowing how to raise kids and dealing with all issues that kids face.

Im sorry for you....and for that man who cant find his son.

Terribly sad.

Lobo

I can empathize with you. When my RAD was 16 I didn't know who the hell she was or where in the hell she came from because that girl didn't come out of me.

She is 26 now and things are different......she wasn't on drugs when she was 16 but I still couldn't stand her half of the time.

Her brothers used to say, "boobs and an attitude they all came in at the same time".

Take comfort in the fact that they don't stay teenagers forever.
Hopefully, she will get all of her wild oats sowed while she is young and turn out to be a responsible, respectable adult.

Mom hugs.............Lo

TrishaV

Sorry but I still feel a swat acrossed the butt is the way to handle it. I have a 14 and 16 year old at home and beleive me, get smart with me and you are asking for trouble. I will not deal with face to face disrespect or any disrespect for that matter. The one time I had to disapline my son he mentioned that he was going to tell when he went to school. I dialed 911 and requested the help of an officer. The officer came in and I explained what happened. He went up and talked to my son and came down and told me that he told my son " if you were my son, your butt would be reder then it is now". It also helped that I had my children in the Police Acadamy with this officer and he is the first to tell you that most of these children are out of line.

Of course, spanking or swatting isn't for everyone and should never be done when a parent is angry. I have learned to send them to their room and if they continued to throw a fit, then they got a swat. If it still continued~ which happened on two occasions they lost priviledges for a week. This meant, no TV, no phone, no internet, no gameing stations..NO nothing!

Now, with this being said, I too have a daughter who was lead astray by her addiction and of course it is blamed on me. I didn't raise her right, I treated her different...I ...I...I. And..you know what...she wasn't treated any different then the others as a matter of fact, up until the age of 15 she was well behaved. I think children like this have their own agenda and nothing is going to get in their way. I know when a swat acrossed the butt didn't help and she raised her hand to me for the first time, it was over. I will not be disrespected and decided to send her to live with her father. Of course there is so much more to her story...but..trying to keep it short.

I wish everyone the best of luck dealing with out of control teens. But I will stand up to the state, the police, DHHR..or whatever ...when it comes to raising my children.

raerae6

I was never spanked in my life, but I didn't disrespect my parents either....at least not like I see now...I don't know what the answer is.

I don't beleive in spanking-except maybe a swat on a diapered behind. I think it just shows kids that violence is a solution to problems. IMHO....

I think people show very little respect for each other in general. look at road rage, or the way some parents act at thier kids' sporting events-swearing and berating the players.

Most behavior is learned behavior. I think kids model what adults do.

Maybe it also has something to do with kids now having so much money-there seems to be a sense of entitlement.

BTW...to answer your question...Yes they are.... LOL....

bookmiser

(((((Sjr)))))


In answer to your question.

nufznuf

AMEN
MY 16 yr old just looks at me and sneers...it doesn't matter what I say
He does what he wants.

sometimes he looks at me like go ahead move a muscle and I'll show you who is really the boss around here.

sleepygoat

My husband and I often ponder, "Isn't the world teetering on the edge enough as it is without waiting to see what her generation is going to do with it?"

There was this born again Christian kid at a meeting recently. He's a nice kid, clean about a month, just turned 19. He shared that he and all his Christian friends love to go in the mosh pit (a box you jump into at a concert where everybody beats everybody else up), which is way more violent than it used to be - he says - at these christian band jams. So I think, what are the atheists kids doing for fun?

My AD knows how to be nice, how to be polite, how to be respectful. Matter of fact, its part of how she got over on me, my husband, the cops, the teachers, and everybody else she has dealt with since the age of 11 when she started getting high. She also, under stress, develops this part ghetto-homegirl, part construction-worker mouth and mentality.

Hubby and I also frequently blame their parents (but not ourselves of course). This is the spoiled rotten generation. The chaperoned to the bathroom generation (there might be a child abductor in there). The my-kid-would-never-do-that generation. Every moment of their lives was prescheduled and many of their parents had no life except to wait on them hand and foot, seems to me.

But after I'm done ranting I always feel so hopeless and sick inside. And then I pull myself up from the negative quagmire and try to remember that I, my daughter, her friends, their parents, the world, are all doing the best they can and I try to remember to say a prayer for 'em all. It helps until the next time I feel like this.

duet_4-8

I think this is one of the main problems, the denial that a child would do something wrong and the failure to set some consequences when they do. It boils down to being dishonest with oneself, with the world, and with the child. And the child then learns to do the same. I think a lot of these parents are living their own lives vicariously through their kids, so to admit that the kid has problems means that they have problems, too.

At the other extreme, there are lots of parents out there who are working lots of hours-many by necessity, some by choice in order to have more 'stuff'. This leaves a lot of teens at home without any supervision; there is an attitude in my area that once a kid is 12 or 13, there is no need for supervision after school. They can take care of themselves. I believe that teens need just as much parental guidance, if not more, than little children. The decisions they are making are life-altering and they need a parent that they can talk to openly and honestly about those decisions. They need to know that if they mess up, the world isn't ending and they get another chance, with honesty and tough love. I wish someone had been around to tell me that 25 years ago.....

MsPINKAcres

i particpated in a conversation with several people that are my age (40's) and they said some of the same things about the younger generation that has been said in this thread and one guy in the group brought out a very good point:
"Our grandparents didn't like the music of the 60's & 70's, thought that our generation wouldn't amount to anything with our peace, love and no war slogans and we made it and became functioning adults."

This weekend, an elderly woman was attacked in a local Wal-Mart parking lot by a 40 something yr old man, he tried to steal her purse. Two teenagers, 16 & 17 yrs old, came to this woman's rescue. They stopped the man, caught him and with other patrons' assistance kept him there until the police could arrive. They helped the attacked woman to a nearby bench until medical personnel could arrive to make sure that she wasn't hurt.

These boys attend one of the "at risk" high schools in our area. They wear the baggy clothes and from their interview on the local news, I'll bet they probably even listen to "rap" music.

But, they still knew the difference between right and wrong and were willing to help someone. Their comments to the news station, "I just kept thinking I would want someone to help my grandma if she was getting hurt."

Please, my friends, I know it is difficult raising teenagers. I have 5 daughters who are now between the ages of 20 - 30 yrs old. I too find myself sometimes wanting to say things about the younger generation, but I believe that would be judging everyone by the actions of a few. Maybe we could try to be a little more open minded about that.

I know not everyone will agree with this - just trying to show a different side of things.

Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita

rahsue

I wonder if mom's staying home with the children has anything to do with the behavior generation.
I was never spanked but I was a good kid. I saw my sister get a good whoopin' on occasion. and my brother, well he could do no wrong as far as my parents went. and guess who ended up the addict, my brother.
I have 3 children, 32, 30 and 22. the two oldest saw some spanking, the youngest didn't, I don't know if me getting older that I was more tolerable or what but I'm sure the youngest did the same stuff the two older ones did. And guess who my addict is, the youngest.

hummm..........I think spanking is the answer. IMHO

Elana

Seems to me the psychology of today is the kid should never feel bad about themselves or much of anything else. It is all about thie kid's self esteem. Even in intramural sports the kids who "lose" are given as much as the kids that win.

OTOH if you learn, when you are young, that your actions can result in consequences and sometimes those consequences are good and sometimes they are bad, you learn the lessons of life.

Disrespect should result in negative consequences such as time outs etc. Spanking may injure a kid's self esteem but it surely is an indication of negative consequences for an action. I don't believe in beating 'em blind, but a swat on the butt can be an attention getter!

You cannot learn to fight to win if you never lose. If you never win you won't know how good it feels. It is like learning what light and dark are. Without the contrast you never get to appreciate either one.