stephensmom

I have not been here for some time. The last time was probably in September when I sent my AS to Florida to live in a sober living house. Well that only lasted a month. I totally got sucked in all the BS with that one. I feel like we were used to get him out of his situation.

Well since he moved back he has gotten an apt with his gf who was his drug supplier. Their drug of choice is Xanax and I guess whatever prescription drug they can get their hands on along with alcohol and pot. AS had a job when he came back which I helped him get and has since been fired for stealing.

I am at my bottom with the whole situation and really don't want anything to do with him. I bought him a digital camera for xmas which I am preparing to return because I know he is just going to sell it.

However I have one concern which I do not know quite how to deal with. My son and his gf have two children. One is 2 years old and the other is 8 months old. I feel like I should call Human Services to investigate them. I am scared that something may happen to the children.

Is this sticking my nose in where it shouldn't be? I just feel as if the children are innocent in the whole situation and if something should happen I would never forgive myself.

Does anyone have any experience with a situation like this? My concern is that since neither of them have a clear head then who is watching the babies. If anyone could give me some advice I would appreciate it.

Thank you.

Ann

It sounds like you are thinking clearly to me.

I'm sorry about your son, and you're right to step back and detach from his life right now, we can so easily follow addiction right into hell with them.

I too, would be concerned about the children. They are the innocents who have no voice in this. I had to call Children's Aid for my granddaughter, and they took her to a safe house until her mother got significant recovery again.

It's hard to do but it may save the lives of those children. Someone has to watch out for them, and I think they are lucky to have you.

Hugs

hope213

if you think they r in danger or are not being taken care of call. they do not give them name of a person that has reported them. prayers for you & your family. sorry it did not work out for your son.

Easeful

I don't have any experience with a situation like the one you're facing. But I think if you are concerned about the babies, as opposed to trying to punish the parents and if you're able to let go of the outcome it would be ok to make the call.

mjpaao

I don't think it's sticking your nose where it doesn't belong at all. Dr Phil has a phrase that comes to mind..."This family needs a hero." I think it takes tremendous courage to report something like this. You're in my prayers, Stephensmom, trhat's a big load for anyone's shoulders.

TrishaV

Call...call...and..call again if you feel these children are in any type of danger. It wasn't until I took my grandchildren from my daughter did I realize just how much danger they were in. My daughter got locked up for robbery and was being evicted for non-payment of rent while in jail and of course, it is the mom's problem to AGAIN clean up her mess. I went to the apartment and here is a list of things that I found.

Gun
Razor blades stuck in between the pages of my grandson winnie the pooh book
blunts in the toybox, in the cabinets and under the couch cusions.
I photo that my AD BF had drawn that showed a gun pointed at the head of my grandson saying if you leave he will leave this earth..meaning my grandson.
In the zipper portion of the couch pillows were baggies that still had traces of pot.
On the coffee table there was a white residue which I beleive to be cocain and to think that my grandkids play on that table.

The actual list goes on and on and I am sure you get where I am going with this. None of this was seen when you first entered her apartment!!

I had made several phone call to DHHR (Department of Health and Human Resources) but was told their case level was too full to investigate. Therefore, I took it upon myself to remove my grandkids from that hell hole!

stephensmom

I am going to make that call. I just needed reinforcement. I had called them over the summer and they told me that they recommend that family members try to get the parents to had the kids over without involving the courts. This would never work. His gf would never hand those kids over voluntarily.

I woke up today to a phone call from her that my son's busted out the apt windows. I don't know if the babies were there or not. My son is pretty much facing homelessness.

sleepygoat

I think that morning phone call confirms it, don't you?

TrishaV

I am kinda of confused about whether to get the courts involved or not. In my case, since I took the kids and did not involve the courts, I really have no rights to these kids. My daughter can walk in at any time and take both of these children. With the courts being involved, these children will be placed in someones home - hopefully a relative and they would have a legal document that states these kids were placed there legally. I think I went about it the wrong way because I am always in limbo not knowing when she is going to show up. Although, she tried that once and I called the police on her boyfriend and got him arrested because I KNEW they had drugs or drug paraphanilia (sp?) in their car.

lostparent

I agree make the call the kids need to be in a safe home away from the drugs an all the craziness they bring.

duet_4-8

I, too, would make the call. The kids need to be protected at all costs. I believe one of the ways to break the cycle of addiction is to do whatever we can to save the children of addicts, even if that means doing something very hard. ((((hugs)))))

mooselips

My heart says you should make the call.

Do all, and everything, you possibly can to save the children,
you may be their only answer.

nufznuf

I would call..
its important to document document document and then make sure you document.
Calling the authorities puts it on record some one was concerned about those children.

BigSis

There are no guarantees any particular thing will happen when we expect it to.

But I know me... in that situation, if there was a tragedy and I had NOT called, I would have trouble forgiving myself.

In Alanon they tell me to try not to plan outcomes. To not take an action in order to force an addict to get sober. I would have to check my motives to be sure I was not trying to force my son or daughter to "get" that drugs are terrible. But if I could get clear that I was taking action for the benefit of the babies... I'd make the call.

((hugs))

rahsue

good luck to you and prayers