just sick to my stomach
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: falmouth ma
Posts: 28
just sick to my stomach
Well I thought my dh was doing ok. Was about to start a new job on Monday,was spending time at home. And helping out.
Wel I sat down to pay bills on line. Had a atm withdrawl that wasn't a bank I went to. Starting looking at my statement. Lots of small visits to unknown atm's. no more then $40.00, just enough that I didn't catch them.
Went to the bank to get a new card and report the loss, next stop the police station. Before I went to file the police report I talk to my daughter(just had a feeling)
Told her they would be pulling the tapes to view the transactions., and be chargeing the person who did it.
You know the rest of the story, she was taking my atm card at night and using it.
I told her she was out of my house so I got a call an hour ago, she got a bed in a rehab. She will not be coming home.
As I look back at the last few months the signs where there, I chose to not see them.
When do we learn?
Thanks for listening
Trisha
Wel I sat down to pay bills on line. Had a atm withdrawl that wasn't a bank I went to. Starting looking at my statement. Lots of small visits to unknown atm's. no more then $40.00, just enough that I didn't catch them.
Went to the bank to get a new card and report the loss, next stop the police station. Before I went to file the police report I talk to my daughter(just had a feeling)
Told her they would be pulling the tapes to view the transactions., and be chargeing the person who did it.
You know the rest of the story, she was taking my atm card at night and using it.
I told her she was out of my house so I got a call an hour ago, she got a bed in a rehab. She will not be coming home.
As I look back at the last few months the signs where there, I chose to not see them.
When do we learn?
Thanks for listening
Trisha
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Originally Posted by sheisanaddict 
Well I thought my dh was doing ok. Was about to start a new job on Monday,was spending time at home. And helping out.
Wel I sat down to pay bills on line. Had a atm withdrawl that wasn't a bank I went to. Starting looking at my statement. Lots of small visits to unknown atm's. no more then $40.00, just enough that I didn't catch them.
Went to the bank to get a new card and report the loss, next stop the police station. Before I went to file the police report I talk to my daughter(just had a feeling)
Told her they would be pulling the tapes to view the transactions., and be chargeing the person who did it.
You know the rest of the story, she was taking my atm card at night and using it.
I told her she was out of my house so I got a call an hour ago, she got a bed in a rehab. She will not be coming home.
As I look back at the last few months the signs where there, I chose to not see them.
When do we learn?
Thanks for listening
Trisha
Wel I sat down to pay bills on line. Had a atm withdrawl that wasn't a bank I went to. Starting looking at my statement. Lots of small visits to unknown atm's. no more then $40.00, just enough that I didn't catch them.
Went to the bank to get a new card and report the loss, next stop the police station. Before I went to file the police report I talk to my daughter(just had a feeling)
Told her they would be pulling the tapes to view the transactions., and be chargeing the person who did it.
You know the rest of the story, she was taking my atm card at night and using it.
I told her she was out of my house so I got a call an hour ago, she got a bed in a rehab. She will not be coming home.
As I look back at the last few months the signs where there, I chose to not see them.
When do we learn?
Thanks for listening
Trisha
It's very hard to outsmart someone who wants their drugs, esp. someone just new to their relapse, they are still fresh on their game. Don't blame yourself. You aren't required to be the expert at drug relapse. You did good when you found out, we do what we know, that's all we can expect from ourselves, when we know better we do better. :ghug
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
When do we learn...
It is so hard because we want to believe them. My son had a harder time fooling me since I am an alcoholic in recovery...He had told his wife he was going to drink O'Douls non-alcoholic beer just because he liked the taste of beer.
She was telling me how good he was doing...sitting there reading the paper at night and having his non-beer, but she neglected to notice all the times he went to the garage to get a drink out of his bottle of vodka.
On the day of his wedding...he made numerous trips to his pick-up for a swig of vodka...he saw me watching him...but he never did appear intoxicated...it probably took that much for him to feel okay and not shake his hands to death.
He would come to town to see his sons and I know he figured out that he could drink down in the basement with the boys and no one would know the difference. He got each of them a bottle of juice...his bigger than theirs and would put his bottle of vodka in his juice bottle.
Here we thought he was having a good time with his boys. He would take them out in the hills all day and come flake out in the basement bedroom...he did not drink & drive with the boys. That was the only saving grace.
Here he was 35 years old and had been fired from four jobs in a row for drinking on the job. Some were very good jobs and ones he really liked but they always had an opportunity to drink a little but not to intoxication.
Now he is in a wheelchair for the rest of his life at 38 years old and with no quality future ahead of him. I have to remember that he was ill...his life was ruled by alcohol from morning to night and he just couldn't get it together even with treatment centers and counseling.
I could not stop him from drinking...just not to drink in my home anymore when I found out what he was doing. I could not tell him to go to treatment, AA, or counseling...he had done that on his own and it didn't work because he wasn't ready for it to work.
He never did get into trouble with the law...just with himself.
Holidays are my worst time of the year and it is so for many of us here on this forum. Our loved ones, my son, my brother, and your siblings and children are all out there during the holidays and it is sad for me. I try to picture the homeless kids and all of their walking and walking during the day until they can check into their shelters or someplace else if the shelters don't have room. It seems to be never ending...an infinity of life...never quite getting there where ever there is for them.
kelsh
She was telling me how good he was doing...sitting there reading the paper at night and having his non-beer, but she neglected to notice all the times he went to the garage to get a drink out of his bottle of vodka.
On the day of his wedding...he made numerous trips to his pick-up for a swig of vodka...he saw me watching him...but he never did appear intoxicated...it probably took that much for him to feel okay and not shake his hands to death.
He would come to town to see his sons and I know he figured out that he could drink down in the basement with the boys and no one would know the difference. He got each of them a bottle of juice...his bigger than theirs and would put his bottle of vodka in his juice bottle.
Here we thought he was having a good time with his boys. He would take them out in the hills all day and come flake out in the basement bedroom...he did not drink & drive with the boys. That was the only saving grace.
Here he was 35 years old and had been fired from four jobs in a row for drinking on the job. Some were very good jobs and ones he really liked but they always had an opportunity to drink a little but not to intoxication.
Now he is in a wheelchair for the rest of his life at 38 years old and with no quality future ahead of him. I have to remember that he was ill...his life was ruled by alcohol from morning to night and he just couldn't get it together even with treatment centers and counseling.
I could not stop him from drinking...just not to drink in my home anymore when I found out what he was doing. I could not tell him to go to treatment, AA, or counseling...he had done that on his own and it didn't work because he wasn't ready for it to work.
He never did get into trouble with the law...just with himself.
Holidays are my worst time of the year and it is so for many of us here on this forum. Our loved ones, my son, my brother, and your siblings and children are all out there during the holidays and it is sad for me. I try to picture the homeless kids and all of their walking and walking during the day until they can check into their shelters or someplace else if the shelters don't have room. It seems to be never ending...an infinity of life...never quite getting there where ever there is for them.
kelsh
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
I agree with Miss Pink and Miss Done, You did a good thing enforcing your boundaries when you found out. My daughter never had to steal from me because I was already giving her money. I just did not know until later what it was being used for. Hugs, Marle
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: falmouth ma
Posts: 28
Thanks for all the kind words and back up.
I have cried a gallon today, and the pit in the stomach is large.
I will try to get to a alanon meeting in the morning. That will get me thru the week.
Trisha
I have cried a gallon today, and the pit in the stomach is large.
I will try to get to a alanon meeting in the morning. That will get me thru the week.
Trisha
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: tn
Posts: 663
Just sendin more mom hugs to you. I will miss my daughter this Christmas (I am already missing the things we used to do together during the holidays).
But, I have to continue to work on ME and find appreciation in other things in my life right now. I try to focus on the good things in my life, still there is a huge hole where my daughter used to be.
Get to that meeting tomorrow and I hope you feel better.
HUGS
But, I have to continue to work on ME and find appreciation in other things in my life right now. I try to focus on the good things in my life, still there is a huge hole where my daughter used to be.
Get to that meeting tomorrow and I hope you feel better.
HUGS
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