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more emotional abuse

Old 12-04-2007, 07:44 AM
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more emotional abuse

my ah woke me up at around 6 am and said "this is why i have insomnia, this is why i am not going for testing (meaning drug testing), this is why i am not going for counseling. and he went downstairs.not knowing what the heck he was talking about, i went back to sleep...
in a little while he came back up, went to my side of the bed, was pointing at me and said "you are a chronic masturbator...you have singularly destroyed 2 families, you are an evil woman"....he then went on to say he was going to call my mom and step dad and tell them...he also said he was going to tell the kids, and i am sick and need help. He then sends me emails at work telling me that my therapist had brainwashed me, and i need to stop going and start going to church. Then he sends me an article on narcissm saying "sound familiar..and also says that masturbating kills intimacy in a relationship.

I had told our marriage counselor about this--and in all his 51 years of practicing, he has never heard this one before...first of all -- i am not masturbating.....i havent been and when he accuses me---i am sleeping!!!

what in gods name is wrong with him?????????
HE is going to drive me insane.....i need to get out.
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Old 12-04-2007, 07:52 AM
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He's an addict he has no excuses to use so he creates ones in his head and believes them. He is drowning, dont let him take you down with him.
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Old 12-04-2007, 07:55 AM
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Well I have to say thats one I haven't heard either.
I agree with Cinders.
I suppose the only good thing in all of this is the more bizarre the comments the more you know YOU are not crazy.
(((Hugs)))
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Old 12-04-2007, 08:00 AM
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He could also be paranoid schizophrenic or on the verge of a psychotic break!

Save yourself!
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Old 12-04-2007, 08:00 AM
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Geez.....xabf can come up with some doozies too. Yet another reason he is XXXXXXXX!!!!!!
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Old 12-04-2007, 08:21 AM
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well now, how crazy is THAT? He is clearly unbalanced...I hope you break away from him. How long can you and your kids live with this madness?
Save yourself!
The marriage boat is sinking...get into the lifeboat or go down with him.
Do you have another choice?
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Old 12-04-2007, 09:11 AM
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i guess not....
he really needs help..why do i continue to feel bad for him??? its a sad situation, but you're right, he is pulling me down..i have to save myself.

and my kids...
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Old 12-04-2007, 09:36 AM
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yes, you're right and at this point even though he hasnt physically touched me since june...i feel that emotionally he will destroy me..and i have to be ok to take care of the kids....
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Old 12-04-2007, 09:47 AM
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i am afraid he is going to make this very difficult for me...im very scared of what he will do should i get an aggressive lawyer.
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Old 12-04-2007, 09:56 AM
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drained.................you said yourself in one of your earlier posts that he will find a way not to go for the followup tests and such..................

and flipping out or picking a fight....well thats typical behavior

try to stay calm and not react, however be careful because he may get worse TRYING to get a reaction from you.................

my question for you is...............are you sick and tired of this type of thing from him yet? And are you ready to walk away?

because over time and reading your posts...............it really sounds like thats what it is going to take for you and your children to be ok..............

you will be in my thoughts!!!!
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Old 12-04-2007, 10:00 AM
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besides the coke, he takes xanex--and showed me the other night how he crushes it and puts it under the tounge so that it works faster....(he showed me because he thought i saw him doing coke, so he thought it would be better if i knew it wasnt coke that i saw, but xanex.)..i actually didnt see anything, just found residue of coke. He also takes 2 anti-depressants, (effexor & wellbutrin) blood pressure meds, and who knows what else. who knows what the combo of these things could do--oh yeah, i forgot suboxone-he takes that too.
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Old 12-04-2007, 10:03 AM
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he said yesterday he would go for the tests...and called the therapist to go for ind. counseling....but then this happened...he is not making it up..i think he is hallucinating....
also, i read about the blood tests, and that is not the best way to detect coke..it only stays in the system for a short time..so maybe he would go...if he knew when he was going, he could just not use for a while..also i saw he wrote done in his to do list "vita detox" to me, that means he is going to detox himself before going....also he was going to go for a sauna.
i think the hair folicle is the best way to test...i dont know if he would do that...but does it really matter???
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Old 12-04-2007, 10:16 AM
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Originally Posted by drainedwife View Post
what in gods name is wrong with him?????????
HE is going to drive me insane.....i need to get out.
Hi DW:

Do you have a place where you can go? What do your kids think about what is going on? How old are they? Do they want to go with you? I am not a doctor, but he sounds psychotic.


Peace.
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Old 12-04-2007, 10:23 AM
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Drained

It really DOESNT matter what he takes............its all the same in that hes USING drugs PERIOD

the main point really is his behavior, how he treats you and the safety of you and your children....none of you deserve this............what can YOU DO, to change this situation for you and your children?
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Old 12-04-2007, 10:36 AM
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I have to agree drained...there's no longer a need for an explaination, or proof, or any of the "plans" he continues to make.

As far as counsleing, it sounds to me like its just another avoidance tactic to side step the drug issues. Trust me, your husband admits to enough substances to be a drug addict. It doesn't matter where they came from.

And the dance continues...

(((Hugs)))
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Old 12-04-2007, 11:17 AM
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Your husband will say whatever and it will not change a thing. He can go to counseling and it won't change a thing. I think you know this and are fearful
of having to do the changing. Fear is understandable. The only way out of fear is to face it head on and walk through it. You have support in your counselor and here as well.
I suggest you see a counselor at your local women's shelter as soon as possible and find out your options from an expert. There are options and solutions available. Knowledge is power.
Hugs
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Old 12-04-2007, 11:19 AM
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dude is a ticking time bomb..............
That was my thoughts with the scripts he's taking..., my guess is with all that he's using the coke to function at work otherwise he'd be passed out. DO you know in just 36 hours without his meds youd have a REAL dangerous disaster on your hands?

My opinion, look up the local domestic abuse counsel, see what attorneys are on the counsel and meet with one of them to see how to get your children away safely, because yes he's going to make it a complete legal nightmare. In the meantime stay calm thorough everything and see what all you can document, everything. Id pretend like things were fine and give him NOTHING against you he can use, NOTHING.

Id also bet his colleages have more than a few suspiscions this is going on and I know how secretaries and assistants talk, and Im sure there talking...
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Old 12-04-2007, 02:26 PM
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I too am worried about what he will do next. Please keep yourself and the girls safe. He is an ACTIVE addict, and is doing what some of them do.
Do whatever you need to do for YOU and the GIRLS.
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Old 12-04-2007, 02:33 PM
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Drained, it seems to me it's getting worse, not better. Please make sure you do what you need to do to keep you and the girls safe. I'm sending up prayers for you.
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Old 12-04-2007, 07:56 PM
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((((dw))))),

I know how insane I got before I allowed myself to get distance from my H.

Even if you do not want a divorce from your H you most likely do need some space and time to get yourself on track.

It is a very, very loving act to not let someone hurt you. Let the voice of your peace inside yourself be heard.

You keep wanting him to understand something or trying to understand something of him and ya'll are just so entertwined that you are both hurting eachother really bad. It is hurtful to the other person to allow them to hurt you.

You are both F-ed up you are as bad as he is for putting up with it.

love ya,

lisa
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