moms talking...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5
moms talking...
Hi, I am old here but am going under a new name. haven't been around in a long while.
Doing really good. The addict I was dealing with is completely out of our lives and I am with someone new who is not into anything bad and is a wonderful man. i am going to be having a baby with him as well and he he has accepted my kids as his own and they call him dad.
I have cut off all connections with the x including his family.
Recently my mom received a call from his mom asking how things were with the children and how I was doing. My mom told her nothing of where I am or what I am doing.
The x's mmo says she may be out in a few years and would like to see the kids. My mom says oh I think we could do that...!!!! what is wrong with my mom???
My mom says to me oh its not a big deal in a few years so much has gone by anyway.
I don't want the x's mom saying that she is still in contact with my family and that she may see the girls in a few years to her son! This is not ok.
My mom knows there is to be no contact with that family but she time passes and she forgets. I have asked her to send an email explaining they can no longer have contact and that she can not see the girls in a few years. And tell her it is what I have stated to her.
My mom is procrastinating about doing this and I am just so on edge now and worried as more time passes.
I do not want to contact her myself and tell her this because I don't want her telling her son that we have had contact of any kind.
I spend last night crying and full of anxiety. I woke up this morning and had to cry and worry some more. I called my mom and asked if she could write it now and she says I am putting too much pressure on her and not to worry about it, it will be fine.
Those words mean nothing from my mom because she just thinks things go away and doesn't ever want to be harsh even when she has to. soooo PLEASE..
what should I do?? His mom needs to know there is to be no contact between my family and theirs under any circumstances and that she will definatly not be seeing the kids in a few years.
Doing really good. The addict I was dealing with is completely out of our lives and I am with someone new who is not into anything bad and is a wonderful man. i am going to be having a baby with him as well and he he has accepted my kids as his own and they call him dad.
I have cut off all connections with the x including his family.
Recently my mom received a call from his mom asking how things were with the children and how I was doing. My mom told her nothing of where I am or what I am doing.
The x's mmo says she may be out in a few years and would like to see the kids. My mom says oh I think we could do that...!!!! what is wrong with my mom???
My mom says to me oh its not a big deal in a few years so much has gone by anyway.
I don't want the x's mom saying that she is still in contact with my family and that she may see the girls in a few years to her son! This is not ok.
My mom knows there is to be no contact with that family but she time passes and she forgets. I have asked her to send an email explaining they can no longer have contact and that she can not see the girls in a few years. And tell her it is what I have stated to her.
My mom is procrastinating about doing this and I am just so on edge now and worried as more time passes.
I do not want to contact her myself and tell her this because I don't want her telling her son that we have had contact of any kind.
I spend last night crying and full of anxiety. I woke up this morning and had to cry and worry some more. I called my mom and asked if she could write it now and she says I am putting too much pressure on her and not to worry about it, it will be fine.
Those words mean nothing from my mom because she just thinks things go away and doesn't ever want to be harsh even when she has to. soooo PLEASE..
what should I do?? His mom needs to know there is to be no contact between my family and theirs under any circumstances and that she will definatly not be seeing the kids in a few years.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
Hi Eller,
Welcome back. If your mom will not call her or send her an email I would just put a letter in the mail. Tell her nicely that this is the only time she will be hearing from you. State that you do not want her in touch with your family again, and if she does get in touch you will have to take whatever action is needed to protect your children. Send it from someplace other than where you live this way she can not even find the town you live in. Tell your mom if your ex's mom should contact her again you want to know right away, and that your mom should just hang up or delete the email.
Take a deep breath and think of things that will help you relax, it is not good to get so worked up, you can get sick from it.
Hugs coming your way
Welcome back. If your mom will not call her or send her an email I would just put a letter in the mail. Tell her nicely that this is the only time she will be hearing from you. State that you do not want her in touch with your family again, and if she does get in touch you will have to take whatever action is needed to protect your children. Send it from someplace other than where you live this way she can not even find the town you live in. Tell your mom if your ex's mom should contact her again you want to know right away, and that your mom should just hang up or delete the email.
Take a deep breath and think of things that will help you relax, it is not good to get so worked up, you can get sick from it.
Hugs coming your way
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
welcome back.we r still here for you & i am so sorry your mom has done this.i do not understand her. there r 2 options for you. tell your mom next time you are there to email her & block her mail or SHE will not see the kids. your are there mom & she should have NEVER did this.she could have hung up on her if nothing else. are you still in the same town as u were when you had the last contact with that familly? next you could also have a lawyer write her a letter stating you want no contact with her nor can she try to contact your kids.i take it she is in prison or is it your ex? (The x's mmo says she may be out in a few years and would like to see the kids. ) i can sure see why u r upset. i am happy to hear you are doing good & taking care of you & your kids. keep coming back & let us know how it is going.prayers,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5
thank you, n, not in prision just lives far away. I have just found out she has talked to my dad as well so I am writing her an email now stating there can be no contact with any one in our family and no visits. I have informed both parents and they will respect that they say. If she does call my mother and ends up on the phone with her , she can just keep saying she is busy or at least say I'm sorry I can not break my word to my daughter. Hopefully my mom is strong enough to do that. Thankyou I will get her to block the email as well. That way if she really needs contact she can send it to me because I want to be able to be informed if he ever ends it all. She is a very understanding woman..the x's mother so she will understand but may try to contact my mom just to talk again. So maybe I will get her to block her number too.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
((((ellers))))
Hiya sweetie. I am on the other side of the fence here.
My oldest son, who is 34, and still using, had a baby girl, when he was 20. I have not seen my grandaughter since she was 18 months old. It absolutely tore my heart in pieces when they broke up, and she took my GD away.
Although it was completely understood, by me.
From what I understand, the GF has married, and I'm sure my grandaughter was adopted by her husband.
From my point of view, what that GF did was unjustly cruel, and mean hearted.
I understand wanting to rid herself of my son, believe me, I applaude her for doing so, but yet it cost me, my one and only grandchild....
My sons name was not on the birth certificate, so, as a grandmom, I have NO rights to see the child, who is 14 now....
I guess it's a small price for me to pay to know my granddaughter's being raised in a (hopefully) drugfree home.
Just to let you see from the other side....
Did your EX's parents do drugs also?
Is that why there can be no contact at all?
Hugs,
Hiya sweetie. I am on the other side of the fence here.
My oldest son, who is 34, and still using, had a baby girl, when he was 20. I have not seen my grandaughter since she was 18 months old. It absolutely tore my heart in pieces when they broke up, and she took my GD away.
Although it was completely understood, by me.
From what I understand, the GF has married, and I'm sure my grandaughter was adopted by her husband.
From my point of view, what that GF did was unjustly cruel, and mean hearted.
I understand wanting to rid herself of my son, believe me, I applaude her for doing so, but yet it cost me, my one and only grandchild....
My sons name was not on the birth certificate, so, as a grandmom, I have NO rights to see the child, who is 14 now....
I guess it's a small price for me to pay to know my granddaughter's being raised in a (hopefully) drugfree home.
Just to let you see from the other side....
Did your EX's parents do drugs also?
Is that why there can be no contact at all?
Hugs,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5
no, she does not do drugs, she is a wonderful lady andcompletely on my side with things too. BUT, when she is around him, her son, she changes and her opinions get swayed. He manipulates her and can get her to tell him what he wants. I can not take the small chance that words get sent across because if he feels his own family is still in contact than it may put us in a dangerous situation. I can not relax and live in constant nervous and anxiety filled mode when that door is slightly open. It makes for a very hard life always living in fear. The small chance is a big risk and it is exactly what you said ..a small price to pay for the safety of the child.
See we are their mothers, the grandchildren's. And you are his..and we know this very well. When it comes down to it..you save your baby. If he manipulates to pull those heart strings..are you strong enough to say no? We can not live with that uncertainty. It is far too fragile.
See we are their mothers, the grandchildren's. And you are his..and we know this very well. When it comes down to it..you save your baby. If he manipulates to pull those heart strings..are you strong enough to say no? We can not live with that uncertainty. It is far too fragile.
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