Skeetermag

My hubby has a long standing painkiller addiction. He had bad back surgery and the dr. gives him pills every month. This has gone on for many years. This month as usual, he ran out and went to a diff. dr and got another bunch. He doesn't know I found them since he hid them. Should I just take them or let him know I know.

f911

Why bother taking them? It won't change anything and just get him pissed off.

I would mention that you do know about them and maybe he should consider some therapy.

jane

Skeetermag

Been saying that for years but he wont go, thanks tho

nytepassion

I agree with f9 that taking them won't do anything, but make him angry. He'll just get more anyway. If you've been trying to fight his battle for him .. I'm sure you've found it is all, but impossible.

However .. the good news is you have found your way here and there are many good people on this forum who understand where you are coming from and can be of great support to you ... I hope you will stick around and read the forums .. educate yourself on addiction and the behavior it causes... I encourage you to learn all you can about enabling, codependency and detachment with love. You didn't cause it, you can't control it nor can you cure it ... but you can learn to take the focus off the addict and put it on to taking care of you and giving you your best

There is light at the end of the tunnel for you .. regardless of what he does or doesn't do

****{hugs}}}
Passion

DevastatedJP

I don't know. Everyone is different. I skim about 1/3 of my husband's Oxycodone's from him and he's stays so high on them I don't think he realizes it's me. When he runs out, after a couple of days and he's genuinely hurting, I give him about three at a time and he is grateful that I have them and that I'm rationing them. He has no judgment and eats them like candy and then is screwed or like you said, going to an ER or some other doc who writes it for him. I wouldn't be surprised if he buys them on the street sometimes too.

Anyway, taking them makes ME feel better and in a little more control of something I have no control over. My husband is not violent though. What he is is in denial. He doesn't have a problem and by getting mad, would be to admit that he's desperate.

justjo

Id just talk to him about it openly. That would drive me mad. See if you can go to the doctor with him and discuss it more, see what options there are. Look at the real reasons he is using them. Get help.

hope213

he is addicted to them & taking them will not help.he will just get more.thats what an addict is about."more", never enough. keep coming back her. take care of you,there is nothing u can do for him but let him know he does have a problem. welcome to S.R. prayers, hope

DevastatedJP

I have also actually talked to some professionals about alerting my AH to his abuse. His doc. is requiring a urinanalysis now but that's before he writes more and often that's when he's been without at least a day or two. Now mine is using Heroin and in U/A tests, it shows up as an opiate just like the pain killers. No difference.

If you go the doctor and express your concerns, the doctor may speak to him or recommend him to a pain management clinic. Mine is trying to get into a program. I don't know if they work but it gives me a little (very little) sliver of hope cause honestly, I don't think he'll stop - who wants to stop feeling soooo good?

I don't understand it.

mooselips

Skeetermag,
I don't have an addicted spouse, or S.O., but I am the mom of 2 addict sons.
What your post says to me, is nothing changes, if nothing changes.

What in your life would you like to see change?
Because keeping tabs on his use will just continue, over and over...

IMO, when you are rationing his drugs, and giving them to him when he runs out of his, you are somewhat condoning his usage. Like Here you go, I saved some for you...

That's just from my standpoint on how I'm seeing it...I may be wrong....
Take what you like and leave the rest...

Have you tried going to meetings, for you?


Hugs,