littlebird

I just found out that my dad has been using crystal meth. We don't know how long he's been using, but his behavior and symptoms suggest at least 3 years. He says it's only been 1 year. He has sores all over, and he is become more and more distant and difficult. I'm the only one of his 4 kids that knows. How do I talk to him? I live across the country, just starting my own life (I just graduated from college in June), and I'm scared. How do I help him? How do I help my mom?

We've always been such a close family, and it's been in the last 2 years that we've noticed something wrong with him. Any help would be much appreciated.

bookmiser

Ohhh, Littlebird. I am so very sorry.
The pain that comes with loving the addict is sometimes unbearable.
My 26 yo son is the addict in my life.
Although, my mom and stepdad were alcoholics, both deceased.
One brother an alcoholic, one a drug addict.
I married an alcoholic pot head. We've been divorced about 17 years.
Now my son. I also have an adult daughter who lives about 325 miles north of me.
I talk to both daily. My son, has since, curbed his addictive behavior by seeing a psychiatrist and counselor, weekly.
My recovery from codependency started in October 2005.
You've come to a wonderful place to share, get thoughts, support, advice, and prayers.
Your mother and father are still married, I take it?
All the children are grown and gone? What does your dad tell your mother about his addiction? Did he admit to this or was he caught?
Whenever you feel like talking, just put it out there and someone will be along to "listen". We're here for ya, sweetie.
Sending prayers up for you and your family.

notsleepingwell

Littlebird...
My heart is aching for you. Addiction is sooo painful, and I can't imagine having an addicted parent. Welcome to SR!!! Lots of support here. I'll keep you in my prayers
NSW

lostparent

Hello Littlebird My 21 yr old daughter is the addict in my life. Sorry to hear about your Dad I don't really have any advice just wanted to say HI. Others will be along that will be able to help you.


Notsleepingwell...that is a beautiful Angel pic.

hope213

welcome to S.R. i am so sorry about your dad. i know this is heartbreaking. the addict in my life is my son. there is so much info on this board. please read around & read the top of the forum "what addicts do". there is nothing u can do for dad. the only person who can help your dad is himself. addiction does not get any better till the addict wants it to.they have to fall & hit there bottom before they can want to help them self. the drug is powerful. it should not be hid from other family members.the 3c's helped me alot.i did not CAUSE it ,i can not CONTROL it & i can not CURE it. get your mom to go to naranon meetings & go yourself. i am saying a prayer for you,your dad & your family. please keep coming back & let us know how you are doing.hugs,hope

mooselips

Littlebird,
So sorry to hear about your dad. Hugs to you.
How did this knowledge come about? Did he admit it, or did your mom confront him?
Perhaps if he admitted it, he's close to finding help.

Hopefully, you can find some meetings in your area, they help alot.

I know it must hurt alot to find this out and thinking you're too far away to try to fix the situation, but you're really in the best place possible, because this is something your dad needs to do alone. And it's something he won't do until he's ready.

Please keep posting,
we're all here for you,

CatsPajamas

Littlebird,
The others have given you some good information. There really isn't anything that you can do other than take care of yourself. If there are Al Anon meetings in your area, you might find them helpful.

How is your mom doing with all this?

Hugs
Cats

Done_With_It

(((Littlebird)))

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Crystal Meth is known as the
"Devils Drug", it's a horrible drug...

If it were 'my' Dad I would try to help before just not doing anything,
but you have to do what it right for you. I would try an intervention
and see how that goes, after that it is up to him.
But so many times people do want help but don't know how or what to
do.
If he doesn't get help, then I would kick him out. (or tell your Mom too).

I just had my 2 year anniversary off of crystal meth, and it is so hard
to get off of, even when you want to. I had someone who cared about
me very much, the only one who really knew, come to me with his own
little intervention.

There are a lot of intervention specialists you can talk to about how to go
about it. If your not ready for that or it's not something you want to do,
then like the others said, take care of yourself, because crystal meth
will bring you down too.


Crystal Meth Makes you feel so powerful at the same time bringing you so
much shame at the same time. It Makes you feel like you are God while
bringing you to your knees at the same time, you don't know what you are doing,
so you become a crazy mixed up person.
The drug makes you feel so good you stop needing anything or anyone else, that's usually why people become distant.
That's just a few of the insane things it did for me.



Just my thoughts. :comfort

littlebird

Thanks for all the words of advice.

My dad's health has been going down rapidly over the past few years, and we thought he was clinically depressed. It all started a few years back when he lost a lot of weight and then got a staph infection. Looking back, i think it might have been some early signs that he was using. We're a relatively well off and nuclear family, so none of us never suspected anything like it. I'm still in shock. My sister and I are the only ones out of the house (she's in college) and my two brothers are still living at home. My mom found out because she found my dad's stash and confronted him about it. He got really angry last night and told me he's not using regularly anymore and that he can quit anytime. I just want to ask him if he's not using regularly, why are his arms and his face covered in sores and why are there so many needles in his "kit"? My mom's trying to be strong, but it's so hard.

Cindi R

(((Little Bird)))
Hugs to you...
I'm a recovering meth addict, clean from the drug since 8/15/01.
Recovery from meth is possible.
However, my ex-husband refused to quit. I gave him many chances, and over a year to get clean with me before I divorced him "for the sake of the kids", who are now 18 (son) and 21 (daughter).
Just so you may be prepared for the worst...he told my daughter...that "he wasn't changing his lifestyle for any woman, not even his daughter"...when she asked him to quit for her.
Sometimes when you give them an ultimatum...it backfires. They may go on to get worse...

hopeforever

little bird
hugs toyou!!
hugstoyour mom and family..
im sad fo whatheppend and im sorryfor ur pain.. but stay strong and dont let this to make ur life sad..
ur dad needs help..rehab,, and meetings,, that can help but only he has to want it to change...
i know u all wanthim to change but as long as he doenst admit he needs help ther is nothing u can do.. just pray.
nad find aloteen, naranon. or alanon meetings, its a support group for family of addicts it can help u alot tell ur mom about these meeting u can find them on goolge in ur area... to get support and also understand the addiction more/ hugs toyou:praying