inflamleft

OK - he is smoking pot again - not drinking, nothing else for that last month that I know of. So, this morning I was trying to find one of his welding caps to see the size - several that he has are falling apart and I had to go by the store that sells them so looked in his drawer this morning for the hats, pulled one out and right under it was two things he was using to smoke pot. I looked at the hat size and then threw the things away. He got home from work, ate and then put his coat on and said he was going to an aa meeting - but first went into the bedroom. I was folding clothes, got done went in to put them away and he was searching all over the drawer. I wasn't going to say anything, but then me and my big mouth - I just simply said, I threw them away. He is like - Why???? I am like you cannot be doing that here and you know it - he just walked out, so not sure where he went, if it was too a meeting or if he is mad enough to go somewhere else....He is angry because I shouldn't care that he is doing that, he isn't drinking or anything harsher, so I should be fine with it...well, I am not. I am actually very angry with him. He is still on parole for his like 5th or 6th dui, if his po tests him, he will come back positive. He is justifying smoking pot and it is making me crazy! The thing is that I feel even dummer because we have been getting along so good this past two weeks. Things have been really good, and now I know why.
He will not be happy when he gets home and I am not looking forward to the issues then. I just want to scream at him - How stupid are you???
Very frustrated right now, so sorry I am not being very reasonable.

zxcirce

I think you are being very reasonable. It is reasonable to be angry and feel betrayed and feel "dumb" when you find out you've been lied to, and when your AH relapses.



I haven't really got any advice for you, but I wish you the best.

sjr

my addict daughter thinks smoking pot is nothing. it's like breathing. "it's natural mom, it's a plant".....sooooo apparently that makes it ok.

the worse part it, pot is her gateway drug.
she smokes pot, then she drink some too cause it's fun, well then a little coke will come into the mix, and when she not high enough with coke, she will do some heroin.
i think it is perfectly reasonable you do not want your son smoking pot. i know, that i search my daughter's room every chance i get, and whenever i find anything i throw it away also. she get's raging mad.

by the way...it's never her pipe, or her baggy, or her whatever...she was holding it for somebody, sooo "mom~you have to give it back or they are gonna be so mad at me"....my answer is....okay, they can have it back when they come over with their parent and tell me it's okay to have it back....~~funny....nobody has ever came here with their parent to claim their pipe or anything else......hmmmmmmm

good luck to you.....S

cece

just posted this with "Seasea" but I am responding the same way to you here.

It is scary how desensitized people can be about pot. I agree that it is everywhere. Its still illegal and its as prevalent as alcohol at a party with people under the age of 30. I have heard everything from, its natural, to its better for you than alcohol.
It is a gateway drug for an addict. for others its probably the same as alcohol a non-addict can take it or leave it. an addict will begin to want more. Maybe its not as quickly addictive as alcohol or other drugs, it sneaks up on you.
I know my son feels he needs to smoke it daily. At first to keep him not stressed then it was to keep him from not feeling crazy. sounds like addiction to me.
He thinks so too actually, but he thinks its a good addiction and good for you. (?) So good that its important to stay home all day and smoke, not get a job, or think beyond the day.
It has turned a hard-working caring guy into someone who is depressed with no ambition.
You are thinking smart. you are right to be afraid of its affect on your life.

Elana

I am sorry you are going through this. You did nothing wrong (tho he will likely say you did).

He is an addict and he is doing what addicts do. Regardless of the drug, they all do the same stuff. Lying, and on up from that.

I would be angry too. Funny thing is if I had known all the lies my XABF had told that relationship would have been over a LONG time before it was. I cannot tolerate a liar. I don't deserve to be lied to. Being lied to, IMO, is reason enough to show someone the door (anyone, BTW.. that is how much I dislike lying).

When someone lies to you they have violated your trust. Trust is the very foundation of any relationship or any friendship. When that crumbles, so goes the rest of the structure (or it should).

Momsrainbow

Pot is an herb? That is what my AH told me. It is the "lightest" drug? It is a drug and illegal!!!! Smoking a little-they smoke more-then more. That high is not high enough and off they go-to coke, meth or whatever. They all lie-read the sticky What Addicts Do. And we still get surprised? AH is clean right now-in county jail waiting to go back to prison-for the 4th time and final time. I don't believe he knows the truth from a lie-but at least I no longer have to listen to it. My choice!!!!

hope213

you are totally right. pot is a drug & it is illegal & also leads to other things. do not take any blame for him or this. prayers for you both, hope