What are your Thanksgiving plans?

Old 11-16-2007, 01:06 PM
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Smile What are your Thanksgiving plans?

We spend Thanksgiving with friends picnicing on a cliff above the beach ea. yr. with a smoked turkey.
The kids in our step-family usually spend it with their other parent
so this is a beautiful compromise and we see them later in the weekend.
Wishing you all a wonderful holiday!
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Old 11-16-2007, 01:12 PM
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We spend Thanksgiving with my family. I have a large (about 30) family that is in the area. We all meet at my mom and dads and have a Thanksgiving dinner. I love it. I feel all warm and cozy inside just thinking about it.

As hectic as it is with that many people (the majority being under 14) it gives me peace to rustle around the kitchen with all my sis in laws getting dinner ready and hearing lively discussions coming from the living room from my husband, dad and brothers. As old fashioned as that sounds, we love it that way. We talk our women talk and let them men talk theirs.

My mom has her house all decorated in fall colors and has her Christmas boxes already pulled down and we all know that the tree goes up on Friday or Saturday.

We all stuff ourselves to the brim and then sit in the living room just enjoying each others company, no tv, no radio, no phones ringing....just being together.


I love it.....i look forward to this all year.
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Old 11-16-2007, 01:44 PM
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How lucky Laura that you have such an awesome family.
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Old 11-16-2007, 01:47 PM
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I am blessed and I know it...........thanks seeker for this thread....
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Old 11-16-2007, 07:13 PM
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This is a tough one for me. And one i have avoided thinking about, but I need to face.
My family of parents, brothers, sisters, in-law,s and grandkids, all rent cabins in the mountains, Fri thru sun. My son usually goes. This is the first year without him,and being separated from my husband makes me by myself up there.
My family is very loving and caring. But they don't understand. they haven't ever expressed anything negative, yet I feel judged. ( probably just judging myself)
Yet, I am realizing two things about myself. I am trying to fight feeling sorry for myself. and I know I hate when they feel sorry for me. .( maybe it makes me see how bad it is?)
I would rather focus on whats right in my life right now, not wrong. thats why I like my program.
The second thing i know about myself is i can get jealous around them. Seeing teenage and young adult nieces and nephews with their life together, drug free, can hurt, yet I love them and am proud of them.
even seeing the young ones hurt because I had wanted another child and a bigger family and now i am facing holidays, although not alone, because my family is large and loving, but facing it with a situation I never had planned for my life. One child, who I am alienated from, and single. I keep wanted to alienate myself, Hole-up, so i don't have to face it, ,. I have to fight that.
So Thursday, the day of thanksgiving, I have a few things running thru my head. Working with a kitchen that serves, going to my sisters, or going to a movie, or just being by myself, for self reflection.
Again, i really am fighting the feeling sorry thing!
Cathy
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Old 11-16-2007, 07:37 PM
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This is the first Thanksgiving in a long time that I've just said NO.

Usually, I have Thanksgiving, and Xmas, here at our home, but this year, I've decided I'm only doing one holiday, and that'll be Xmas.

Now please excuse the following RANT:

This Fall, Mr. Moose had a second seizure, (after a seizure at the cottage) so we've kind of been running hospital to hospital, and doctor to doctor, getting testing done to find out what's going on.

So, I've just kind of been short on time.
Mr. Moose cannot be alone right now, just in case he seizes again,, and he cannot drive for 3 months.

SO...everybody in my family is aware of this, and still they are calling to ask what time is dinner, after I already said "not doing it."

I think I'm just feeling sorry for myself, but I sure would like ONE person in my family to call, and say "How are YOU" "Is there something you need help with?"

What I need is a CODEPENDENT!

Sorry for the rant...
ahhhh feel better now....
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Old 11-16-2007, 07:38 PM
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Jwife, I envy you....
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Old 11-16-2007, 07:59 PM
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(((((Cece)))))
Everything you are feeling is so "normal" Make sure you don't beat yourself up for those conflicting feelings. They are valid and understandable. I'm so glad you are focusing on what is good in your life. I too have found that I need to work through pain, but I save myself additional misery if I focus on all the things I am grateful for and not things that put me in a self pity mode....that does less than nothing.

(((((Moose)))))
How are YOU and Mr Moose too. I wish there was something I could do from here to ease your stress. (shhh...if you want to run away for a bit, you can hide out in the mountains with me) How scary to have to deal with the unknown. My younger brother had epilepsy (sadly we lost him at age 39 when he had a seizure while sleeping) so I have a little understanding of how scary seizures can be. I read what you said about family and kinda wanted to line them up and smack 'em upside the head...You're right, you need a codie!

As for Thanksgiving...for the first time in a long time, I really don't know. There appears there may have been communication issues on my husband's side (my family is not near unfortunatley and I only see them after Christmas usually...A sore spot that I haven't taken a stand on in all these years....yet...) Perhaps we are invited to a cousin's, but it appears everyone is assuming we are goiung there but no one has asked. I sure don't feel comfortable just showing up somewhere without an invitation. I kinda had visions of escaping the routine of all his family for every holiday and maybe goign to the mountains and having something quiet, but I strongly suspect that won't happen. Oh well. At least his cousin has two little ones and I always enjoy getting down on the floor and into some serious playing!

Spiritual Seeker and Laura, both your plans sound wonderful.
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Old 11-16-2007, 08:57 PM
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We have to be careful at the holiday season to keep our expectations inn check.
This is a good time to allow others to take charge even when in the past that was our role. It is okay to ask to be included.
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Old 11-17-2007, 07:47 AM
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I am going on a bus tour with my sister, my mom, and my two youngest boys to New York. We get to see a couple of shows (luckily ones that aren't affected by the strike), the Thanksgiving parade, and sight see around the city. My mom is almost 86 and has never been there. It's one of those things where they take you everywhere and drop you off. I wouldn't have done it for myself (imagine that lol!) but my sister is pretty wealthy and she bought all the tickets.
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Old 11-17-2007, 07:57 AM
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The last two Thanksgivings my husband and I have spent alone. Two years ago was when my daughter was behaving strangely, told me she was sick and did not want to come. (Found out she had been up all night smoking crack with the neighbor man downstairs from her.) Last year we did not invite her, had a nice dinner by ourselves and then went to her house and kidnapped her dog, Petey. Petey is still with us and this year I did invite the daughter (but not the abf) and she said that she will come. Not banking on it and if she does I don't think she will stay long. It is hard to look at her as she has started to look the part of an addict. So whether she comes or not, my husband and I will have a nice dinner and so will my five furry babies. Hugs, Marle
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Old 11-17-2007, 08:09 AM
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My youngest daughter's birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year. When asked what she wants to do for her birthday she said very excitedly I must add "I want to put birthday candles in the turkey". So.............it's her day right??

I know I'll be giving thanks for my family and my beautiful friends here on SR. Without you all I wouldn't quite be the person I am today!:ghug2
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Old 11-17-2007, 08:56 AM
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What are myThanksgiving plans?

AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! HA! the holidays are tough.
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Old 11-17-2007, 10:23 AM
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Here's to "FreeBird Thanksgiving" - a day free of worries.
As I am perched above the Pacific on Thursday, We will ALL be together in spirit
I will think of Jen having a fab time in NY
and picture candles in the turkey for LOVESTOOMUCG'S daughter. I can visualize Marle's dog's aroung the table (playing poker like that famous painting)
I will be sure to count my many blessings.
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Old 11-17-2007, 10:26 AM
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You are all inspiring me!
I do need to remember my blessings! Thank you for this! Don't know what I will do on Thursday, but whatever I do I will remember gratitude for all I do have.
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Old 11-17-2007, 12:15 PM
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For the first time in 6 yrs. I am cooking Thanksgiving dinner at my house. 6yrs. ago when my RAD started using drugs I was a complete mess. None of my holidays have been very good since then. It seems she had a tendency to ruin every holiday whether she knew it or not. I would always go to my sister's home.

Well, I have come a long way baby since then and I wanted to have it at my house this year, and I am really looking forward to it. My sister and her family will be coming and my RAD will be here. My mom who is 89 is coming. Both of my sons and thier wives will be stopping by to visit. They both go to their wives families for
dinner. I'll get to see my little grandaughter.....this is her first Turkey Day.

My RAD is excited....she even got out the T-Day decorations. Very unlike her in the past. She said she will help with dinner. I still don't expect much from her and if I get it then I consider it a bonus.

I just love my family and consider myself very blessed. I have more siblings but they have their own plans. We are all very close and I will be spending Christmas Eve with all of them. That is our family tradition. I have two sisters and two brothers and they all have children. When we get together on holidays it's like the Osmonds.

I am praying that all goes will for me this year because the past ones were not so nice.

Praying that you all have a peacful day no matter how you plan to spend it.

Hugs and blessings.........Lois
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Old 11-17-2007, 04:36 PM
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((((Seeker))))

Thanks for wantin' to know. lol
Your day sounds wonderful. Smoked turkey is the best.

(((Moose and Mr.)))


My day starts with the in-laws. middle class he!! Then hubby goes to work at 3:00
He's a restaurant manager and lots of people eat there on this day. Not to put it out there, but...it has to do with a barrel. lol
After that, I will go to my brother's house and be with my side of the family.
Can you say Dysfunction with a capital D?
Lots of fun and backstabbing there. Then home alone where I can weep and feel sorry cause all the rest of my dysfunctional family members are dead and I miss them. My daughters in Pa., can't get here until New Years and my as may show up at my brother's with his elderly gf. lol I love the holidays.
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Old 11-19-2007, 05:40 AM
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Thanks. (((moose)))

It hasn't been a long time that Thanksgiving was good. My dad is an alcoholic so growing up, it wasn't that good. Its been in the last oh, i don't know 15 or so years that it has been good and we started to enjoy it because he got sober. Now, its a blessing for our entire family to be able to be together. We all bring a couple dishes so all mom cooks is the ham or turkey. She is making ham and hubby is deep frying a turkey.

Bookmiser---sheesh, your husband will be busy. I know what restuarant you are talking about and it stays packed ALLLLLL the time around here so Thanksgiving is going to be a nightmare for him I imagine!
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Old 11-19-2007, 04:41 PM
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I've never had a deep fried turkey, how is that?
It is amazing Jwife22 how sobriety can really make the party better contrary to alcoholic thinking.
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Old 11-20-2007, 05:27 AM
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Deep fried turkey is delicious. I don't like regular turkey because it tends to be dry. Deep fried turkey is completely moist all the way through and has a crispy skin on the outside.

Yes, I think my dad was amazed the first few sober years at how good the holiday's could be without alcohol.....
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