That Gut feeling
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Ah...sad night.
He had some mail come here today,
I called him, opened it, there's a warrant out, and
he can't get his drivers license back until that's settled..
He's been lying...he's going to go back to prison...
Silly me, I always want SO badly to believe that this is the time....
Well, obviously not...
What makes me, as a mother, feel the worse is when he says he will NOT go back to prison. It makes me fear for his life, ya know?
It's been an emotional week for me,
and this is something I need very badly to get out of my mind...
Thanks all,
(I will gladly accept the steel toed bunny slipper if need be...)
He had some mail come here today,
I called him, opened it, there's a warrant out, and
he can't get his drivers license back until that's settled..
He's been lying...he's going to go back to prison...
Silly me, I always want SO badly to believe that this is the time....
Well, obviously not...
What makes me, as a mother, feel the worse is when he says he will NOT go back to prison. It makes me fear for his life, ya know?
It's been an emotional week for me,
and this is something I need very badly to get out of my mind...
Thanks all,
(I will gladly accept the steel toed bunny slipper if need be...)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Oh Moose- No slippers here. I know that feeling of 'maybe this time' and hoping for better. Sometimes my gut feeling is right and sometimes it's just that old fear taking hold.
I'll be saying some prayers for him and prayers especially for you that your mind and heart will be filled with trust, faith, peace and acceptance. Sorry you're hurting.
cmc
I'll be saying some prayers for him and prayers especially for you that your mind and heart will be filled with trust, faith, peace and acceptance. Sorry you're hurting.
cmc
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Nahhhh, just a bunny hug.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to believe what our children tell us. Normal people do that. What's wrong is that they lie and sometimes we get out of practice spotting that.
In truth or in lies, his HP loves him and is watching over him. Just trust that for now.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to believe what our children tell us. Normal people do that. What's wrong is that they lie and sometimes we get out of practice spotting that.
In truth or in lies, his HP loves him and is watching over him. Just trust that for now.
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Amazing what a good nights sleep and a good cry can do for a person!
I'm feeling much better today, putting my priorities back in the order they belong.
Dragging out my toolbox from the cedar chest, and pulling out a few things I can use.
Let go, Let God,
HALT: Don't get
too Hungry,
too Angry,
too Lonely, or
too Tired!!
Live and let live
Wonderful things happen one day at a time
What is, is.
(you get the idea...)
Thanks all....
I'm feeling much better today, putting my priorities back in the order they belong.
Dragging out my toolbox from the cedar chest, and pulling out a few things I can use.
Let go, Let God,
HALT: Don't get
too Hungry,
too Angry,
too Lonely, or
too Tired!!
Live and let live
Wonderful things happen one day at a time
What is, is.
(you get the idea...)
Thanks all....
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Well, what an eventful evening.
Last week, believing oldest AS relapsed and got back on the recovery road, I invited him to ride with me to a meeting. There's an AA meeting at the same time of my Alanon meeting.
Well, he called today, asking if I was going to the meeting, I said yes.
Meanwhile, youngest son, who lives 40 miles away decides he's going to come up here, get his brother, and both attend the meeting...
Since I haven't seen oldest AS since returning from cottage, I told youngest I would take his brother to dinner, (McDonalds) and he said he would meet us there.
So, both sons attended the meeting, and I went to mine...(don't you know it was on ATTITUDE, and GRATITUDE) and youngest son took his brother home with him for the night...
What I realized tonight was I have a difficult time, finding the right things to say to my oldest.
He wanted to understand WHY I attend meetings.
He said...Is it so you can understand us?
I said No sweetie, this meeting is all for ME...to understand ME.
Hugs to all,
Last week, believing oldest AS relapsed and got back on the recovery road, I invited him to ride with me to a meeting. There's an AA meeting at the same time of my Alanon meeting.
Well, he called today, asking if I was going to the meeting, I said yes.
Meanwhile, youngest son, who lives 40 miles away decides he's going to come up here, get his brother, and both attend the meeting...
Since I haven't seen oldest AS since returning from cottage, I told youngest I would take his brother to dinner, (McDonalds) and he said he would meet us there.
So, both sons attended the meeting, and I went to mine...(don't you know it was on ATTITUDE, and GRATITUDE) and youngest son took his brother home with him for the night...
What I realized tonight was I have a difficult time, finding the right things to say to my oldest.
He wanted to understand WHY I attend meetings.
He said...Is it so you can understand us?
I said No sweetie, this meeting is all for ME...to understand ME.
Hugs to all,
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
(((Moose)))
You've been through so much;
And still going through so much.
I know I have to dig out the tool box too, and then I wonder, how in the heck did it get put away, and burried under all the clutter in the back of the closet??? I think I"m working it, only to discover I've slipped away and I don't notice it till I'm way deep in the dark waters and struggling to stay afloat. I don't get it after all these years.
But, the good thing is, we can always go back and dig out those tools.
My thoughts and prayers remain with you, Moose. And all your family.
I sure hope your boys find their way...
Shalom!
You've been through so much;
And still going through so much.
I know I have to dig out the tool box too, and then I wonder, how in the heck did it get put away, and burried under all the clutter in the back of the closet??? I think I"m working it, only to discover I've slipped away and I don't notice it till I'm way deep in the dark waters and struggling to stay afloat. I don't get it after all these years.
But, the good thing is, we can always go back and dig out those tools.
My thoughts and prayers remain with you, Moose. And all your family.
I sure hope your boys find their way...
Shalom!
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
(((((((Diane)))))))))
For those boys of yours.
Teach's dark water analogy struck a cord with me. I know those
feelings. One minute ya think your doin' just fine, then...
Makes me think if I let my guard down the least bit, to expect some noise.
Then I come here and get my head straight again.
That's what I love about sr and all of you guys. Doesn't matter if I slip...
I'm led back on the right path after visiting here and reading something that relates to me and my own deal. I'm so glad for that "Thank You" button.
It's really there to count how many times I have an "aha" moment. lol
((((Teach))))
For those boys of yours.
Teach's dark water analogy struck a cord with me. I know those
feelings. One minute ya think your doin' just fine, then...
Makes me think if I let my guard down the least bit, to expect some noise.
Then I come here and get my head straight again.
That's what I love about sr and all of you guys. Doesn't matter if I slip...
I'm led back on the right path after visiting here and reading something that relates to me and my own deal. I'm so glad for that "Thank You" button.
It's really there to count how many times I have an "aha" moment. lol
((((Teach))))
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
(((((((Moose))))))))))
Sorry I'm coming to this late, but wanted you to know that I understand ALL of what you said you are feeling....that mama's gut, the wanting to believe, the not knowing what to say to your child (adult as he is), slipping in your recovery. Yep, know all about those as I bet most folks here do.
I was listening to a speaker the the other day and she said that the times she's experienced great victory have come ONLY after huge devastation and desperation in her life. I could identify with that and that gives me hope for me and my loved ones.
Moose, I have no magic words, but I do know that your son's HP has the bigger plan His HP is up to something good everyday in your son's life. I'm praying that your son will realize that and get on the same page with the HP so he can get to that better place. And I think I'll throw in "God, please get Moose's son to the desperation point."
So prayers going out for all the Mooselip family, and special prayers for you to keep you from sinking into that stinkin' thinkin'. Remember....take healthy care of you.
Love ya,
Hangin' In
In the meantime, remember....meeting makers make it.
Sorry I'm coming to this late, but wanted you to know that I understand ALL of what you said you are feeling....that mama's gut, the wanting to believe, the not knowing what to say to your child (adult as he is), slipping in your recovery. Yep, know all about those as I bet most folks here do.
I was listening to a speaker the the other day and she said that the times she's experienced great victory have come ONLY after huge devastation and desperation in her life. I could identify with that and that gives me hope for me and my loved ones.
Moose, I have no magic words, but I do know that your son's HP has the bigger plan His HP is up to something good everyday in your son's life. I'm praying that your son will realize that and get on the same page with the HP so he can get to that better place. And I think I'll throw in "God, please get Moose's son to the desperation point."
So prayers going out for all the Mooselip family, and special prayers for you to keep you from sinking into that stinkin' thinkin'. Remember....take healthy care of you.
Love ya,
Hangin' In
In the meantime, remember....meeting makers make it.
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