rehab
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
rehab
My As..went into rehab for the first time friday. On sunday I recieved a call that they were taking him to a bus station and suggested I have the police meet me there..saying they were concerned for my safety. he had threatened the staff and some fellow patients as, well as me.
Long story short.my brother happened to live in the town the bus station was in. His wife picked him up and met me 1/2 way. she said when she arrived (approx: 5 minutes after him) that he had gotten out of the drivers car and was taking to someone. she told the driver thats not good and got my son and took him with her.
he was vomiting almost all the way she continued to pull over again and again. ( from detoxing we assume)
He was in my car 5 minutes and I smelled it. he had "scored green in such little time in a strange town.
We feel even more hopeless now. we tried to talk to him tonight and give him a chance to follow our rules. he refuses. We will be posting an eviction notice tomorrow.
my heart is broken in more pieces. I thought they were all broken already.
i know everyone needs life insurance. We didn't have any one him because we are lower income and we simply couldn't place it in our budget, even though he is only 22 his is triple others of his age due to his Dx.
We went ahead and found a compant that refused the amount they offer for his age at that price. We were trying to obtain 35,000 the premiums would have been 13 ans some change a month. they came back with an offer of 15,000 for 38.40 a month. we of course accepted it. we are so fearful that once he is put out of our home he will be killed.
Hugs, Angie
Long story short.my brother happened to live in the town the bus station was in. His wife picked him up and met me 1/2 way. she said when she arrived (approx: 5 minutes after him) that he had gotten out of the drivers car and was taking to someone. she told the driver thats not good and got my son and took him with her.
he was vomiting almost all the way she continued to pull over again and again. ( from detoxing we assume)
He was in my car 5 minutes and I smelled it. he had "scored green in such little time in a strange town.
We feel even more hopeless now. we tried to talk to him tonight and give him a chance to follow our rules. he refuses. We will be posting an eviction notice tomorrow.
my heart is broken in more pieces. I thought they were all broken already.
i know everyone needs life insurance. We didn't have any one him because we are lower income and we simply couldn't place it in our budget, even though he is only 22 his is triple others of his age due to his Dx.
We went ahead and found a compant that refused the amount they offer for his age at that price. We were trying to obtain 35,000 the premiums would have been 13 ans some change a month. they came back with an offer of 15,000 for 38.40 a month. we of course accepted it. we are so fearful that once he is put out of our home he will be killed.
Hugs, Angie
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
I am confused. Do you want to get him well, or do you just want to collect a check when he croaks? At his age, he could well drink and drug for another 20 years without dieing. I know I did.
What are you trying to do to get him well now? Eviction is good, since giving him a place to stay is just enabling him.
What are you trying to do to get him well now? Eviction is good, since giving him a place to stay is just enabling him.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
welcome to s.r. i know the pain you are feeling.i also know that if they want the drug they can get it.it does not surprise me that he found it in such a short time.they can sniff the dealer out anywhere they are. i am sorry what u are going through.as hard as it is you are doing the right thing by putting him out.as long as they have a soft place to land they will not get clean & some of them never get clean.it is up to the addict.there is alot to read on this site. read "what addicts do" at the top of our forum. my son is the addict in my life & as much as i love him there is nothing i can do for him.we r here for you & keep coming back.prayers for you & your son, hope
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Angie,
I am sorry, I know this breaks your heart, but sweetie, we just can't save them, only they can do that when they are ready. But that doesn't mean we have to live in their hell with them, life isn't meant to be spent living in darkness.
Meetings helped me find the support I needed and a program that gave me the courage to live a good life, regardless of how my son lives his.
Sending hugs and prayers your way, sounds like you could use both.
I am sorry, I know this breaks your heart, but sweetie, we just can't save them, only they can do that when they are ready. But that doesn't mean we have to live in their hell with them, life isn't meant to be spent living in darkness.
Meetings helped me find the support I needed and a program that gave me the courage to live a good life, regardless of how my son lives his.
Sending hugs and prayers your way, sounds like you could use both.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
I'm so sorry for your pain. No advice, just remember the 3 C's'--you didn't cause it, you can't cure it and you can't control it. Focus on you--you'll be surprised how much everything around you changes when YOU change.
Prayers,
susan:praying
Prayers,
susan:praying
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Originally Posted by dgillz 
I am confused. Do you want to get him well, or do you just want to collect a check when he croaks? At his age, he could well drink and drug for another 20 years without dieing. I know I did.
What are you trying to do to get him well now? Eviction is good, since giving him a place to stay is just enabling him.
What are you trying to do to get him well now? Eviction is good, since giving him a place to stay is just enabling him.
Of course we want our son to get well. I wish we could wake up tomorrow and the addiction and the severe illness be gone as well.
However in reality things don't work that way.
You know? How can you know? Some people die on try one. Some on try 100 some never from the drugs. I suppose you were one of the lucky ones.
In our case my son has a serious mental illness. He needs constant supervised care.
Unfortunately, due to his drugs he cannot get that help. he cuts up soap and candles and sells the pieces as crack ...that will get one killed fast. he has people driving to our house with false pretense that he has money for certain drugs,,then calls them when they are close saying that the police are in the yard and he is slipping out the window, some of these people I have talked to in the past and I have been informed that had the conditions been a bit different then they would have someone else to answer to theirselves..which means my son would have to as well...
The area he will be staying in once we evict him ...is defiently not safe.
We got the insurance because we are terrified for our sons life. We are low income and should something happen we have no means of caring for expenses.
also, in his later years.(Yes we hope he lives a long, long, long ,life.)
The policy would be paid off and he can cash it in or if something happened to him his brother would have some means of caring for what is needed.
At the same time...should something happen to myself and my husband we also have it set up where our middle child will be able to set up a trust for his brother.
lifefor any addict is a dangerous one. his is just a bit more dangerous than some others. even if one took the drugs out of the scene..he has a high risk of death in his early years from his illness.
Evection is good yes for the addict in him...yet not for the 12 year old he really is..:praying
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
(((crazybabie))))
Hugs to you, I know how heartbreaking this is, to see them continue in a downward spiral.
I never thought of getting life insurance on either of my sons, although they were both using and selling, and living on the streets, and feared they could die.
But life insurance never entered my mind, why, I couldn't tell you.
I'm praying for your family, and your son.
I was under the assumption, although I may be wrong, that when someone is a danger to themselves and others, that they can be legally committed to a hospital for an observation period of no less than 72 hours. Like I said, I may be wrong.
Hugs to you,
Hugs to you, I know how heartbreaking this is, to see them continue in a downward spiral.
I never thought of getting life insurance on either of my sons, although they were both using and selling, and living on the streets, and feared they could die.
But life insurance never entered my mind, why, I couldn't tell you.
I'm praying for your family, and your son.
I was under the assumption, although I may be wrong, that when someone is a danger to themselves and others, that they can be legally committed to a hospital for an observation period of no less than 72 hours. Like I said, I may be wrong.
Hugs to you,
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Crazy,
I was lucky yes.
I apologize if I seemed to harsh. However my problem with your original post is more than half of it is about life insurance. Maybe if you had talked more about him selling wax as crack, his mental illness, game playing with other druggies - all left out of your original post - maybe my response would have been less harsh.
I do not blame you for getting insurance on him, I have just never seen a post on this forum where this was ever brought up. Again I apologize if I hurt you with my post, and your son is in my prayers too.
I was lucky yes.
I apologize if I seemed to harsh. However my problem with your original post is more than half of it is about life insurance. Maybe if you had talked more about him selling wax as crack, his mental illness, game playing with other druggies - all left out of your original post - maybe my response would have been less harsh.
I do not blame you for getting insurance on him, I have just never seen a post on this forum where this was ever brought up. Again I apologize if I hurt you with my post, and your son is in my prayers too.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Yours is a tough path... please know you are in my prayers.
In Alanon, they teach me to "Let Go". For me, it is, in a way..."giving up". I found that distasteful. *I* was not taught to give up! *I* was my kid's mom! *I* was not going to let them die!!
But eventually, I came to believe that they each truly are on a path different from the one I envisioned. Each incident... every event... teaches someone something. Sometimes, that "someone" is my kid... often, that "someone" was me. A few times, I could see it was another person... often MANY other persons.
Life is about learning. And I didn't get to write the script, or pick out the text books or even the teachers.
Letting go and accepting that "whatever is...IS" was one of the most difficult parts of recovery for me... it still is.
My prayers are that you can find the strength to trust his Higher Power will take him to a place that is safe for him. (((hugs)))
In Alanon, they teach me to "Let Go". For me, it is, in a way..."giving up". I found that distasteful. *I* was not taught to give up! *I* was my kid's mom! *I* was not going to let them die!!
But eventually, I came to believe that they each truly are on a path different from the one I envisioned. Each incident... every event... teaches someone something. Sometimes, that "someone" is my kid... often, that "someone" was me. A few times, I could see it was another person... often MANY other persons.
Life is about learning. And I didn't get to write the script, or pick out the text books or even the teachers.
Letting go and accepting that "whatever is...IS" was one of the most difficult parts of recovery for me... it still is.
My prayers are that you can find the strength to trust his Higher Power will take him to a place that is safe for him. (((hugs)))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Originally Posted by mooselips
(((crazybabie))))
Hugs to you, I know how heartbreaking this is, to see them continue in a downward spiral.
I never thought of getting life insurance on either of my sons, although they were both using and selling, and living on the streets, and feared they could die.
But life insurance never entered my mind, why, I couldn't tell you.
I'm praying for your family, and your son.
I was under the assumption, although I may be wrong, that when someone is a danger to themselves and others, that they can be legally committed to a hospital for an observation period of no less than 72 hours. Like I said, I may be wrong.
Hugs to you,
Hugs to you, I know how heartbreaking this is, to see them continue in a downward spiral.
I never thought of getting life insurance on either of my sons, although they were both using and selling, and living on the streets, and feared they could die.
But life insurance never entered my mind, why, I couldn't tell you.
I'm praying for your family, and your son.
I was under the assumption, although I may be wrong, that when someone is a danger to themselves and others, that they can be legally committed to a hospital for an observation period of no less than 72 hours. Like I said, I may be wrong.
Hugs to you,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Originally Posted by dgillz
Crazy,
I was lucky yes.
I apologize if I seemed to harsh. However my problem with your original post is more than half of it is about life insurance. Maybe if you had talked more about him selling wax as crack, his mental illness, game playing with other druggies - all left out of your original post - maybe my response would have been less harsh.
I do not blame you for getting insurance on him, I have just never seen a post on this forum where this was ever brought up. Again I apologize if I hurt you with my post, and your son is in my prayers too.
I was lucky yes.
I apologize if I seemed to harsh. However my problem with your original post is more than half of it is about life insurance. Maybe if you had talked more about him selling wax as crack, his mental illness, game playing with other druggies - all left out of your original post - maybe my response would have been less harsh.
I do not blame you for getting insurance on him, I have just never seen a post on this forum where this was ever brought up. Again I apologize if I hurt you with my post, and your son is in my prayers too.
Hugs, Angie
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Originally Posted by BigSis
Yours is a tough path... please know you are in my prayers.
In Alanon, they teach me to "Let Go". For me, it is, in a way..."giving up". I found that distasteful. *I* was not taught to give up! *I* was my kid's mom! *I* was not going to let them die!!
But eventually, I came to believe that they each truly are on a path different from the one I envisioned. Each incident... every event... teaches someone something. Sometimes, that "someone" is my kid... often, that "someone" was me. A few times, I could see it was another person... often MANY other persons.
Life is about learning. And I didn't get to write the script, or pick out the text books or even the teachers.
Letting go and accepting that "whatever is...IS" was one of the most difficult parts of recovery for me... it still is.
My prayers are that you can find the strength to trust his Higher Power will take him to a place that is safe for him. (((hugs)))
In Alanon, they teach me to "Let Go". For me, it is, in a way..."giving up". I found that distasteful. *I* was not taught to give up! *I* was my kid's mom! *I* was not going to let them die!!
But eventually, I came to believe that they each truly are on a path different from the one I envisioned. Each incident... every event... teaches someone something. Sometimes, that "someone" is my kid... often, that "someone" was me. A few times, I could see it was another person... often MANY other persons.
Life is about learning. And I didn't get to write the script, or pick out the text books or even the teachers.
Letting go and accepting that "whatever is...IS" was one of the most difficult parts of recovery for me... it still is.
My prayers are that you can find the strength to trust his Higher Power will take him to a place that is safe for him. (((hugs)))
Hugs, angie
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