Warning; long but good news!!!!!!!

Old 11-11-2007, 01:03 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Hug giver-outer!
Thread Starter
 
marteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
Thumbs up Warning; long but good news!!!!!!!

Hi all!

It has been a long time since I have written anything here at SR. I do come to visit, read and gather the wisdom to take with me. I have been very busy with my life but mostly I have tried to fulfill my life with purpose in other things than coming to SR.

I will always consider SR my home; my easy chair will always be here but I share it with others now; those who need more than me and those who offer more than I. I am fortunate that I still receive emails from those seeking some light at the end of their newly discovered dark tunnel, and for that I am grateful. I continue to share and to learn. All that I have gotten here as a member and especially as a Mod and all that I get whenever I come here will be what kept and keeps me sane and recovered!

When I have more time to spare, I will most likely come here more often but I am grateful that my life is full, and I have a forward-directed purpose, at least for the time being. Keeping the focus on me and the rest of my family has allowed me to continue to let my AD’s focus be on her and her daughter and the choices in her life.

With that in mind, I had to come here to share what I consider to be a small miracle. Those of you who know me and my story with my AD realize that up to now, the situation with her and 2-yr old granddaughter has been very tenuous, at best. But Mr. M, SD and I have all made a conscious effort to take what we can get and “let go” of the rest.

We’ve been together with her a few times and we have concentrated on enjoying our time with the grand child, while overlooking the “addict mentality” of our daughter. After all, we cannot control it, we didn’t cause it and we can’t cure it. Hard as it has been, we’ve clenched our teeth and we all tried to “let it go” and just concentrate on the child’s welfare. Mr. M and I have been very good at accepting “what is” and not having high expectations of “what could be”.

Well, I am here to report that small miracles do happen if we are patient enough. Friday night our AD came over with grandbaby for dinner. I picked them up right after I got off work, then proceeded to go home and make dinner. AD stepped right up to the plate without any asking or coaxing, helping me! This is NOT something she would do. The whole evening was much the same; she cleared up the table, washed dishes and helped me put things away without anyone saying anything. For the first time, in a very, very, very long time and # of years, she actually acted “contented” and showed actual, true attentiveness and concern for what her father and I had to talk about; whatever it was! She rolled on the floor with her daughter, tickling her and they were laughing and genuinely enjoying each other and what made that more special is that AD was truly attentive to her daughter and enjoying it. And the things she spoke about were more like a concerned, caring mother speaking of the welfare of her daughter’s future!!!!! We were swept away and enjoyed it for all it was worth.

There is, of course, skepticism in our hearts and minds but gee, it was truly a healing evening for all of us. It provided Mr. M and I to have so much more hope in our hearts for their future and what makes it so much more special is that our AD chose this herself!!!! By allowing her to choose her path, be it good or bad, she has made that commitment to herself for her own reasons. That feels so much more authentic and solid.

Time will tell but she and her HP are truly walking down her own path; the path of HER choice. I just hope and pray that we are allowed to accompany her every now and then and rejoice in her recovery.

I know that some of you who have known me for a while (and you know who you are and who I am talking to, especially you moms!) will be very happy to hear this and for everyone, this is proof that hope never dies and you never know what lies around the next corner. NEVER GIVE UP!

Hugs,
and thanks!

Marteen
marteen is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 01:09 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 19
Congratulations! How truly amazing! There is HOPE, thank you so very much for sharing that!!!
Bonichickadee is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 01:15 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
CatsPajamas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
((( marteen )))

I've been around for your whole story. Thanks for sharing this update with us. I have tears of joy for you and your family. Miracles really do happen, don't they? And just for today we can hold onto this one.

Hugs
Cats
CatsPajamas is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 01:19 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Hug giver-outer!
Thread Starter
 
marteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
Yup, for "today", my heart really feels the hope and I can truly smile. That's something I haven't really done in a very long time. It feels good, I can tell ya!
marteen is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 01:38 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
marle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Marteen, I miss you, but I know that your life is full. I also know that you will come back from time to time to share your news with us. When they say no news is good news I think that is true in your situation. I am so happy for you and your whole family. I am trying to follow your lead and let my daughter live the life that she wants while trying to live my life the best that I can. I hope to someday have a happy story to share with you all on here, but until that day I am glad that you and others share your stories of hope and love. Hugs, Marle
marle is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 01:41 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Just plainly tired
 
Jewelz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: crossroads
Posts: 2,834
Ohhh Marteen I was so happy to see your name here!! Yes its been a long time seeing you here and everytime I do it warms my heart.

As you know I have been here through every strugglepain you endured and mircale that has happened within your life. Wow, honey you and your family came a long way. I am so happy for you! Thank you for sharing with us. And if life is keeping you from here than thats a good thing!

Love ya,
Jewel
Jewelz is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 01:42 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Hug giver-outer!
Thread Starter
 
marteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
((((marle)))))

I miss you too, and think of you often and pray that your AD finds the right path. But until that day comes, I share your feelings and know what you are going through. It's tougher some days than others but you have come a long way in your journey; much like I have in mine. Always keep hope in your heart for your AD but don't forget to live and enjoy the other blessings in your life while she is figuring out her own.

Prayers for you and your daughter.

marteen is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 01:43 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Hug giver-outer!
Thread Starter
 
marteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
Thanks, jewelz!

I hope and pray that things are going well with you and esp. your little ones. As I said, this jubilation with AD may not last but the fact that it's here at all is the miracle!

marteen is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 02:06 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: tn
Posts: 663
Thanks so much Marteen for posting your good news. It does give us other moms hope that someday we can re-connect with our daughters. I will never give up hope. You are a shinning example!! Thanks again.
havehope is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 02:08 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Jujubee Queen
 
mooselips's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
ahh Marteen,
You brought tears to my eyes!
I'm glad that you're able to share some quality time with your AD and grandbaby.
(I sure would like to see a picture of that little darling girl!)


Enjoy, and don't be a steranger, I miss you, and your ESH.

Hugs,
mooselips is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 02:51 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
((Marteen))

My heart is just smiling right now, I know how long you waited for these special moments and I am thrilled that your daughter is on a better path.

I miss you but know how busy you are and am thrilled that you are taking your recovery on the road and just using it every day.

Big Hugs and Lotsa Love

Last edited by Ann; 11-12-2007 at 02:18 AM.
Ann is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 02:59 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
cmc
Member
 
cmc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Hey marteen!
It's always great to hear from you- I miss you too. I'm so happy about how things are going for you and your family. Thanks for the wonderful update!

cmc
cmc is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 03:21 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
deedee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Faith~Hope~Love
Posts: 963
(((marteen)))

I'm so glad to hear how the relationship with your daughter is re-developing and that you're able to be a part of your grandbaby's life. You've come a long way grandma and I hope the future brings you continued joy and blessings.

love and miss you

deedee
deedee is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 03:25 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
get it, give it, grow in it
 
Spiritual Seeker's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
We can never get too many good news threads here. Thanks for the reminder that life is change and change for the good can happen. I am learning to turn my son over to HP I always have FAITH + HOPE that he will find a healthy lifestyle. I know that it is up to him. I gave up my dreams for his college educ. etc. Really now I am appreciative of the simple "normal" family times like the one you had.
Spiritual Seeker is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 03:26 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Bridge CLOSED
 
Elana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Good to hear from you Marteen and good to hear of your wonderful day.

Hope starts as a smile which is usually the expression of pleasure from an idea.. and from there it CAN go on.

Keeping you and yours in my prayers.
Elana is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 03:48 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
 
frankly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
((Marteen))

Just Hugs

B
frankly is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 04:35 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Cloud 9
Posts: 778
:day4 Marteen, What a wonderful gift.
helpus is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 06:55 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Hug giver-outer!
Thread Starter
 
marteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
Thank you all for sharing in my joy. It is so very nice to have a place like this "home" to come to and know that something as simple as a "normal" gesture or word can be appreciated as it is here. I am truly blessed to have SR to come to and to have as many friends as I do here.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

8 and
marteen is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 07:00 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
itiswhatitis...'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere, out there...
Posts: 512
oh marteen,

that's so good - if we lead by example sometimes they will follow - and you got to enjoy a perfect moment - in your daughters life, your grand daughters life, and in yours and your husbands - aren't you lucky???????

love,
s
itiswhatitis... is offline  
Old 11-11-2007, 07:24 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
 
Done_With_It's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Mom Marteen!:day4

Never Give Up.... My Favorite Words........


I was just thinking about you today or yesterday....


Just like the others your post brought tears to my eyes!


(Hey can you believe I have two years this week)


I'm so glad you stopped by. Not surprised by your daughter, I knew it
would happen.
Keep the Faith....

Love, Light and Much More to you!
Done_With_It is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:58 PM.