sjr

so i just got back from the doctor my fourth visit this month, he put me a second type of antidepessant/anxiety med. (withdrawing the first one) i am home now thinkin'...my kid's addiction is causing me to have to take drugs! aint that a crock of poo! i am hoping this will help me get my head on straighter and deal with things better. i am trying to uncurl out of my ball, and take my life back over.~wow~ the revelation of knowing you haven't been in control of your own life is kinda overwhelming. i want to say i am so glad i have found this place to come too. and the advice and support is so overwhelming i have no words to describe it. i know i have been posting alot...thank you for putting up with that! it's just so nice to have the understanding of others without the looks of what i precieve as my failure in other's eyes. it's friday afternoon, my daughter hasn't came home yet. i don't expect to see her again this weekend. but you know what, i think i am gonna go to a movie and not sit in my house waiting to see if she comes home.

Jwife22

That just gave me the giggles at work. Immature, yes I know....it just hit me funny!

I am glad your going out and doing something for YOU, that YOU enjoy and that doesn't depend on ANYBODY else to make it happen and make you happy!

You go out and have FUN!!!!

sjr

lol...glad i could make someone smile today

Impurrfect

sjr -

don't worry about posting too much - you never know when what you're saying may just be what someone else needs to hear....even when you're struggling.

Think of how you felt when you first started reading posts and realized you aren't alone.

I think it's fantastic that you are going to a movie!! You deserve to be happy.

Hugs and prayers!!

Amy

rahsue

welcome to the recovery party room !!!!


:day4

sun daisy

Don't worry about taking something to help. I went to one Dr. thinking it was throid. We figured out that I was depressed and having anxiety. Put me on Lexapro. Took about a month but I sure feel better. Between hubbys health, and son at that time on drugs. He got caught with 12 counts of theft and drugs. In jail then the court gave him a choice. 4 yrs. of prison or 2 yrs house arrest and 3 yrs probation. He took the latter. So he is dealing with that. But at least I think clearer and don't stress out as much. More energy and enjoying life more. Before had no ambition or didn't want to do what I enjoyed. So just know that you will get everything taken care of.

marle

Don't feel badly about taking medication. I fought doing it for so long and let my health suffer and my anxiety get to the point that I dreaded waking up in the morning. Finally let my doctor prescribe something to help with the sleep and the anxiety. Not all caused by addiction, some of it was just old age and menopause Really helped me a lot. Changed my diet and got control over my chocolate cravings. I know that there are lots of things that we do not have control over, but taking care of ourselves is one thing that is in our control. Your daughter needs a healthy mother so do what you can to make that happen. I always ask my daughter to take care of herself because I love her. She tells me to take care of myself because she loves me too. Hugs, Marle

mooselips

sjr,
Don't let any thoughts of what, how much, or anything, about posting enter your mind, it's why we're all here! And, we all learn from each others posting, and comments. (It's why I love this place!)

I'm glad to see you're moving in the right direction, and taking back YOUR life.'
I joined a monthly lunch bunch group of gals advertised in the community paper, and it's been a wonderful experience.

Hugs to you,
(and extra butter on my popcorn please...LOL)

Bonichickadee

What movie did you go to?? Yeahhh that you are at least thinking of going out!

Elana

I took Desyrel for years while living with my Alcoholic Husband. It took the edge off alright. It also made me sick as a dog.. and I had to lay down immediately after taking it. Husband thought it was great. I went off it finally. He then told me I was a N.G. B**ch... and he hated me, tho I worked like a man on the farm and made everything easy for him. He was an alcoholic and mentally ill. Died in a State mental facility as a committed inpatient. I have had some regrest over this. The biggest one is that I divorced him b4 he died so I did not get to keep my farm.

After the Desyrel I was put on Effexor. I was on that for a few years and finally got off that. I had to taper off of it because I had such vertigo and mood changes while trying to get off it. My Doctor would NOT help me.. told me I would do terrible things if I quit taking it. Well, Nutz to Him and the Horse he Rode in on. I got off of it.. and it took me 3 months.. and then another 6 months to feel normal again.

After all that I came to two conclusions:

Hell can freeze and pigs can fly and I will NEVER AGAIN take a drug for depression, anxiety or any of that. NEVR AGAIN will a anti depressant pass over my lips. PERIOD.

Water will run uphill before I ever take anything to alter my personality to please another human being.

I was sooooo sick from these two drugs. I cannot believe how sick they made me.

NO OTHER PERSON IS WORTH DESTROYING ME FOR.

Ann

I too had to take medication for anxiety and panic attacks, my dosage was "as needed" and initially I took one every day.

As my recovery grew stronger I found my need for these pills grew less. I still carry them with me each day, but I only take about 5 a year now if I catch myself having a panic attack which is very rare these days.

Learning to treat ourselves to a movie is one good way I know to change our focus and calm down. Hope you had a wonderful time.

Hugs

rahsue

I have been hospitalized twice for anxiety attacks (they show the same symptoms of a heart attack, for me at least) anywho, I have a prescription for as needed which these days are about 5 out of 7 days but I don't expect to take them forever.

Afraid 2 let go

I was put on Zoloft on Sept 17. Took about a week before I noticed a difference in myself, but it sure has helped. Mainly just made things that seemed major to me before, feel alot smaller since the Zoloft kicked in. To me there is nothing wrong with taking medication to help with your anxiety over your situation. Look at it this way, atleast we're not doing illegal drugs to escape, and we're not letting our addict cause us to go crazy needlessly.

HUGS!!
JEN

bookmiser

(((((((SJR))))))))


Hi. I'm Linda and the mother of a 26 yo addict son. My nutshell story....
Clean for now, but has never done recovery. He's been seeing a psychiatrist and taking meds for bi-polar symptoms for the last 2 months. Lives with a 36 yo woman who supports him. They live in the boonies, so there's not much work to be had there. She's the only one with a car, so she works. She seems to like it this way.
Go figure? I'm only in control of my own codie recovery. Screw hers. lol
Just kidding.
Just wanted to send support, hugs, and prayers for strength out to you today, and prayers for your daughters rock bottom.
A new codie bud,

sjr

you know, i decided many months ago, when i was having panic attacks in the grocery store, that if i had to take a medication to help me through this, i would, and not be ashamed of it.....

btw....went to a friends house to watch a movie, instead of going to the movies, glad i did, because i fell asleep during the middle of it...lol...yep, i think i hit the exhaustion level