prairie

I've been right where you are. I thought if I was there it would give him someone to be accountable to. How wrong I was.

In my AAH's case that as soon as he knew I might be going somewhere long enough for him to use without having to face the fallout he would start to plan it. That way there wasn't the guilt hanging over his head.

Talking to him may or may not make you feel better. Remember now this is all about you. How comfortable are you with this conversation? What are you hoping to achive by telling him how you feel? Is it to just share your feelings or if you look deep enough are you hoping that maybe your feelings will prevent him from using?

If it's the latter then your trying to manipulate him in your own codie way. Don't feel bad for that though because I'm sure just about everyone here has done that. I've done it dozens of times.

Let me know what you think.

love2store

I have been there many times thinking that if i go out he will to, or if i was late comming home and he knew that i was going to be late he would go "do his thing" And let me say that i have passed up many outings because i felt the same way you do.

so with that in mind i would like to tell you this is a time for your daughter and you to go and have fun and not worry because he will do what he wants and when he wants weither your there or not . I know its hard but you cant save him all the time live life for you not what if. I only say this because i have to passed up many times with my daughter because of the same feelings you have and i cant get that time back with my daughter.

liesagain

same here been there felt that and didnt do things for the same reasons..............and frankly it didnt matter..........we have to go to work sleep and even shower.......if they want to use they do................

its difficult and I still struggle with this one..........but my Ah just relapsed and this is one of the things I am going to change.............ME time. I leave for work he used......so I guess I can leave for fun too.........
I hope you have a great time with your daughter.......my daughter went away to school this year.............oh how I miss her , but at the same time I am happy and excited she has this opportunity in her life...........
and the college visits were fun...........so enjoy and try not to worry THIS IS HER TIME!!!!!