Don't know what to do
i am also new to this site. but let me tell you....you are in the right place. the people here are just packed full of knowledge/understanding/empathy/and have all the tools and can tell you how to use them to help you in YOUR recovery.
i am not that very far away from where you are right now (in your heart & head) my story doesn't matter because you know what?.....we all have a story.......and i am not trying to be mean to you by saying that. i know how much you love your son and i know you beat yourself up over this. STOP. he won't let you take care of him....but you can take care of you.
check out this whole site. read others post. ask lots of questions. you may not like or agree with the answers you get but trust me...they are the right answers.
i am 13 days 15 hour and 55 mins. clean from enabling. i wish i could say the same thing about my addict, but i can't. just like i can't clean him up. i can only clean me up.
i hope you didn't think i was too harsh with my words. that was not my intention. i only wanted to convey to you that i understand.....i really do.
again check out this site. it is a "SAFE PLACE TO FALL" and we all need those.
dustie
i am not that very far away from where you are right now (in your heart & head) my story doesn't matter because you know what?.....we all have a story.......and i am not trying to be mean to you by saying that. i know how much you love your son and i know you beat yourself up over this. STOP. he won't let you take care of him....but you can take care of you.
check out this whole site. read others post. ask lots of questions. you may not like or agree with the answers you get but trust me...they are the right answers.
i am 13 days 15 hour and 55 mins. clean from enabling. i wish i could say the same thing about my addict, but i can't. just like i can't clean him up. i can only clean me up.
i hope you didn't think i was too harsh with my words. that was not my intention. i only wanted to convey to you that i understand.....i really do.
again check out this site. it is a "SAFE PLACE TO FALL" and we all need those.
dustie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ontario, canada
Posts: 540
I am sorry sorry that you are going through this. This is not your fault. It took me a long time to stop blaming myself for my sons addiction. We have been through the rehabs, lying cheating, conning people and Oh the horrible tantrums in the house. Everyone be quiet we might upset the addict. It is a horrible way for you to live. I know you dont want to give up on him. I kicked my 20 year old out last April for stealing again he put himself in to a program. 2 weeks ago he got out relapsed the very first day. Stole from us and took the vehicle got it impounded for speeding I let him stay another two days with his angry personality. Went to work one day, went home and said get out. he is at the shelter right now he can only stay another 2 days then hes on the street. It is horrible and heart breaking. I always say " I too will not give up on him" I need to come to this board to remind myself they are sick we can not cure them it only gets worse. The addict will drain the very life from you if you let them. Naranon is a wonderful program as is this board. None of us have the answers but you will find a lot of support here. I used to think how could they throw a kid out on the street or I mean a young adult but if you read one of todays post from an addict about tough love it may give you more insight.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)