Spiritual Seeker

I have come to know some things about codependent living:
If he is living his life and I am mentally living his life, who is living mine?
Being mentally in his busines keeps me from being present in my own.
When I am feeling stressed I ask myself whose business am I in mentally.
That question allows me to notice then come back to my own wonderful self.
It is easy to be sure what another should do...to have 20/20 vision about them, but not myself. I could try to change the world in order to be happy, but that approaches the problem backwards.
Really there are only 3 kinds of business: mine, yours + God's ( for me God means reality- anything out of my control or your control) Stress comes from mentally living out of my own business. When I think "You should blah blah blah" I am in your business. I accept "what is" because it hurts when I argue w/ reality. When I stop opposing reality action becomes simple and fearless. I try not to think that something shouldn't have happened...because it did and my thinking can't change it.
It doesn't mean I approve, it just means I see w/o resistance.
Today I will stay in my own business.
Please share what you know today about freedom from codependent thinking?

cece

I just had to say Wow! That is awesome and perfect for me today. I will have to think about what I want to share about living free from Codependancy. But for now I had to respond to yours!

hope213

acceptance - that is what has given me the peace i have today. i know i can not change a thing about another person.today my addict son has so much more respect for me than he did 3 yrs ago. i respect myself , so he respects me. when i am with him the shouting matches have stopped & we have a good visit because i will not allow him to talk about his problems. that is my boundry.

greeteachday

freedom from codependent living occurs when I can give my loved ones over to my HP's loving arms and trust that he will walk with them just as he walks with me.

lil516

"I wholeheartedly welcome that which is arising, having given up the idea that things should be other than the way they are"

I wish I could take credit for the words but they are not mine...however they do bring me comfort

Spiritual Seeker

What a beautif. October day. I just spent 4 hours walking the beaches near my home.
The best thing I can do is feed my soul doing the things I love.

guineapigjude

I know that I can be who I really am when I choose to stay in my own life. When I let myself slip into obsessing, planning, worrying about him, I become the person who occupied my space for way too many years. It's amazing how just a brief "slip" into codie thinking will change how I feel emotionally and physically.
Yesterday is History
Tomorrow is a Mystery
Live for Today!

rahsue

recovery from codependence is a very slow process for me (well from what I read and hear it is for everyone) and with that said sometimes I don't have anything to say in a post or a reply for someone for that matter. What I have been learning is I get angry first, then stop and think, then I act. I hope to get over the angry part soon, it would save a good bit of time. I no longer sit and feel sorry for myself that noone else will help me do this or that around the house. My one son said I should go back to work full time, which I relied I have a full time job here thanks to all of you. I volunteer at the zoo one day a week (actually I'm in class for the docent program) that is my refuge. I'm thinking, one day at a time. I have made changes to where the family is not happy, (tough shi-) but like I said one day at a time.

thanks for the post

Spiritual Seeker

Anger use to be one of the few feelings that I had; although I had a hard time expressing anger too. I am changing and better able to get in touch with my feelings and express them in a way that encourages communication rather than shut it down. I use to feel stuck emotionally.Sometimes it is not natural and I have to make a conscious effort. It is becoming easier with practice. I know that working on my own character defects is a full-time job and I shouldn't really have time to be focused on someone else's char. defects. But that remains something I have to be aware of to keep the focus on me. It is difficult when I see that my son's life doesn't seem to be working for him. But I know that it is up to him to know if it is working for him or not and to do something about it if he chooses. My nagging doesn't bring any results.