newly sober sister
 

I understand this is a family didease therefore I an desperate for adivce on how to help my sister recover. Our family is so confused and everything we to to try and helps just seems to enable her. We have started to do things different. Performed an intervention, got her to detox and treatment but now she is out and we seem to be slipping into the same old ways. How can you help someone without doing what one can o for themselves. We have been basically raising her daughter as well as financial support. She is so angry that we hqave the courage to change but at the same time, she is so fraile we are afraid we may ahrm her. Any adice on boundries and or websites to help us help her? Thanks

You've come to the right place, just take a read around and you will see that you are not alone.

My son is an addict and I know the pain of watching someone you love destroy themselves. Sadly, there is nothing we can do for them to make them change until they themselves are ready, and that's usually when the pain of using becomes greater than the fear of getting clean. If love could get them clean, not one of us would be here, but addiction is bigger than even a mother's love.

What helped me learn to cope with all this and keep my balance whether my son was clean or using, was to go to meetings and surround myself with support and learn to work a program that literally saved my life. Naranon, Alanon and CoDA are 3 similar programs that are about taking care of ourselves, no matter how our addicts are doing. Maybe check our your area and find some meetings there. I promise you that they will help you more than you can know.

Again, welcome to SR and please know that we understand and are walking with you.

Hugs

welcome to S.R. there is help for you here. there is nothing u can do for your sister to help her get clean.she has got to do it. read around all the post & read "what addicts do" at the top of the forum.i am sorry for your family & your sister too.keep coming back,we care.

Welcome to SR, I have found that the healthier I get, the easier it is for me to deal with my daughter's addiction. Has it changed her? Nope, she is still out there actively using. But it has changed me. I no longer spend my days trying to clean up her messes and worrying constantly about what will happen tomorrow. It did not happen overnight, but by putting into practice the principles of the 12 steps and above all "letting go and letting God" and taking care of me for a change, it did happen. Hugs, Marle

glad you found us, favo - alanon really helps me. as well as private counseling. my daughter is an alcoholic/addict. helping vs enabling is a BIG topic at my house..

keep posting, k