Son in halfway house, got a WEIRD job

Old 10-23-2007, 08:30 PM
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Son in halfway house, got a WEIRD job

Today is day 2. He is in a place that charges 165.00 per week, so he must have a job to pay his own way. They took him out yesterday and today and got a job.
He was telling me that everyone said it was a weird job.
I asked him what it was.
Packaging porn magazines.
Well, you can imagine how that sat with me. I didn't say anything, but I asked him how HE felt about it.
We had been through a conversation a few weeks ago about porn, drugs and prostitution, and how it's all related. He didn't feel good about this job (he is supposed to start tomorrow)

I let him talk to me, and listened to questions as to what to do about this job he really doesn't want to do. I told him to talk to the director.
He said he would talk to the director immediately.

I just find it strange that the director, a 12 step graduate and awesome god fearing man, could go along with someone doing such a job. It could be that he doesn't even know of it, but other men at that place have indeed done this job. It just doesn't make sense. Why would you put a recovering addict in a position like that?
I reminded my son, that standing up for what you believe in is what people with great character do.
I can't wait to hear how that conversation with his director goes.

Anyone ever come across anything like this in a halfway house or rehab?
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Old 10-24-2007, 12:41 AM
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Half way houses are a BUSINESS. Often times they are just about the money. That's why the director will overlook his type of work.
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Old 10-24-2007, 03:51 AM
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the girl can't help it
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It does seem to be odd that this is the kind of job that a half way house would help someone struggling with addiction to get...
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Old 10-24-2007, 04:22 AM
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I think that is absurd that they would even consider such a job.

Good for him for being willing to speak out about it.

Sheesh, what were they thinking?

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Old 10-24-2007, 05:20 AM
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I can't imagine such a thing! I have been watching a TV Show called Intervention & they show the treatment centers and the Program Directors or what-ever. Anyway I see some of the men with the slick backed so called small pompom on the tops of their head....if they have enough hair....and they look like money hungry men to me.

There are others that seem sincere and many of the woman are sincere but there are also the for profit only women too.

A lot of Recovering addicts and alcoholics become counselors or even run the programs. Some are very good and do a very good job but like everything else, there are some that shouldn't be doing the job.

I knew an alcoholic counselor that was a Cocaine addict but decided he could drink because cocaine was his problem. He eventually got fired from his job.

It takes all kinds to make up our society at large, but something as serious as going to a Rehab Center to get help or a halfway house to stay clean/sober is not a place to put temptations or ideas in the way by offering a job such as that.

I have a nephew that lived in a halfway house for four years and worked at a job of his choice that worked for him. Eventually he got his old job back when his employer saw him one day walking down the street.

It is good that your son is questioning this job and plans to talk to the Director. I am still amazed that something like this can happen. What's next??

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Old 10-24-2007, 05:37 AM
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i find it weird,odd & unacceptable. i am anixious to know how this !!!!
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Old 10-24-2007, 06:58 AM
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Just my opinion, but I don't see a problem. Pornography isn't illegal. I presume the work isn't dangerous, ie unsafe working conditions. I'm pretty sure they don't intend for him to be perusing the materials. And in our area at least, the employers willing to hire on recovering addicts and/or cons are extremely rare.

Disclaimer: My opinion is almost certainly influenced by the fact that my alcoholics and addicts have not been involved with prostitution or addiction to porn.
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Old 10-24-2007, 07:23 AM
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i thought it was weird that the halfways my daughter was in would let her work in a restaurant that served alcohol, but they did. they want their rent money, i suppose.
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Old 10-24-2007, 07:28 AM
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yeah, I'm in the minority, too. I think his ability to find and keep a job would be a HUGE step forward. I don't know his history, so if he has had problems with pornography in the past, then I would have a different opinion.

I really like that you talked to him about his choice and how he will deal with his emotions. That seems like a positive way to handle the situation. I stuggle with my alanon program, but I wonder if you are judging his choice based on your values and morals.

I'm not advocating pornography, but a stable job can do wonders for someone's self esteem and recovery.
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Old 10-24-2007, 07:30 AM
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Good Morning,
My son once had a questionable job like that once, as a receptionist for a Bath House, while he was in a halfway house. (my sons said money is money, although it didn't sit too well with me.)

Although my son didn't stay in the Halfway house for long..or, the job, 2 weeks, I think it was.
The halfway house didn't direct him where to go for a job, it was just..... GET a JOB!

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Old 10-24-2007, 10:56 AM
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The place were my AD currently is will not allow anything that brings disgrace to the women. They won't allow them to waitress because of the tips, in addition to alcohol. Maybe he can find a new house if not a new job!

Prayers for your son, glad he was concerned w/ the job--a step in the right direction.
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Old 10-24-2007, 01:47 PM
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get it, give it, grow in it
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Maybe it is the only job available to immed begin paying the rent. If it is unacceptable to him maybe it will motivate him to get out and get a better job. My son just got a job in a warehouse moving and loading boxes. He said a monkey could do the job. Maybe he will motivate him to acquire some job skills, maybe he will keep his standards low and have this kind of job for a long time. It is out of my control. He has a job that's the good news.
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Old 10-24-2007, 01:59 PM
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When my husband was in a work release center it was amazing what jobs they would let people have - even the pedophiles were able to work at the county fair - go figure on that one.
Yes, it is all about the money
One of his counselors at a group session stated to one person ithat had slipped that it didn't count against his sobriety because he didn't spend his whole check like he would have 3 months ago.....Now tell me that isn't stinkin' thinkin'! Give me a break! Using is using......
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Old 10-24-2007, 03:54 PM
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Although porn is against my grain it is a job. If it doesn't sit well with him its one thing but I think looking at the big picture is more important like he's working, paying his own way, responsiblity and the most important his self esteem gets a boost.

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Old 10-24-2007, 05:57 PM
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They say that it's easier to get a job when you already have a job.

Character building is in progress now with your son.
Sometimes we take on a job, knowing that it is temporary and not forever.

I would say, he can work loading up the magazines until a better job comes along.
Thank God he's not serving beers......
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Old 10-24-2007, 10:42 PM
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IMO porn and his drug addiction have no connection to each other (unless they do in his case?)....all kinds of people enjoy porn...whether they are addicts or i see no harm...

IMO porn in and of itself is not necessarily evil...
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