your strength
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 35
your strength
I just wanted each one of you know that i am very new to this site but not knew to substance abuse and co-dependency. i have read so many stories that they have tugged deeply at my heart and made be re-evaluate what is important and what i once thought was important. ugh!!!
i am disabled and pretty much housebound and unable to attend naranon meeting so you guys....my new friends are it...and thank you so very very much,
wanted to celebrate because i am 5 days clean and sober from enabling him. FIVE days WHOO WHOO :ghug :ghug
these are the only hugs they would let me send....thanks again. it doesn't matter if he is layin in some ditch dead (really it does hurt) but i can do nothing for him. my first priority is to myself and my children and that is where it will stay. you know i aske him once....what if i were an addict on the streets....what would happen to these babies? he said well in that case if i did not get clean than he would of had to....for the sake of our kids. but he knew that i would take take of them. ya know the more crack the more brain cells burned off the more ignorance that comes out of his stupid mouth. again thanks for listening.....but today i will not enable!!
dustie
i am disabled and pretty much housebound and unable to attend naranon meeting so you guys....my new friends are it...and thank you so very very much,
wanted to celebrate because i am 5 days clean and sober from enabling him. FIVE days WHOO WHOO :ghug :ghug
these are the only hugs they would let me send....thanks again. it doesn't matter if he is layin in some ditch dead (really it does hurt) but i can do nothing for him. my first priority is to myself and my children and that is where it will stay. you know i aske him once....what if i were an addict on the streets....what would happen to these babies? he said well in that case if i did not get clean than he would of had to....for the sake of our kids. but he knew that i would take take of them. ya know the more crack the more brain cells burned off the more ignorance that comes out of his stupid mouth. again thanks for listening.....but today i will not enable!!
dustie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Way to go Dustie!!!
I finally had to think of enabling this way - every time I enabled my XABF, I was just helping to kill him. Will he ever get better? Doubt it - he's been doing this for more than 25 years and the only time he seriously considers getting clean is when he's in jail. Today, if something bad were to happen to him I would be sad, but I won't be feeling guilty because his addiction is all on him.
I don't go to meetings, either. I was very active in AA for several months and got a good foundation. I know exactly where they are and the times, and already have phone numbers in case I need them, but so far I've gotten just what I need to hear when I need to from SR and very supportive friends and family.
So, just keep posting and reading....and congrats again on your codie recovery!!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I finally had to think of enabling this way - every time I enabled my XABF, I was just helping to kill him. Will he ever get better? Doubt it - he's been doing this for more than 25 years and the only time he seriously considers getting clean is when he's in jail. Today, if something bad were to happen to him I would be sad, but I won't be feeling guilty because his addiction is all on him.
I don't go to meetings, either. I was very active in AA for several months and got a good foundation. I know exactly where they are and the times, and already have phone numbers in case I need them, but so far I've gotten just what I need to hear when I need to from SR and very supportive friends and family.
So, just keep posting and reading....and congrats again on your codie recovery!!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Dustie - welcome!! Congrats on your 5 days! I've heard it said that the reason there are no white chips (24 hour ones) in Naranon is because we relapse so often, lol. So 5 days is huge! I'm so glad you found us...and those hugs are the ones we love! This is a we program and together we can do it! Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Good for you Dustie. You are a quick learner. I don't think it is as easy to walk away from your child. I have never been able to do that. I have in short spurts but we always keep connection.
I'm prould of you..........Lo
I'm prould of you..........Lo
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Dustie,
I've heard it said here more than once that we can actually love someone to death! It took me a bit of time to "untangle" my life from his... to see where he stopped and where I started. Now it's easier for me to take care of my stuff and let other people take care of theirs.
There are a LOT of people here with a whole lot of wisdom. I'm sure they will be along soon to share their own ESH - experience, strength and hope.
Hugs
Cats
I've heard it said here more than once that we can actually love someone to death! It took me a bit of time to "untangle" my life from his... to see where he stopped and where I started. Now it's easier for me to take care of my stuff and let other people take care of theirs.
There are a LOT of people here with a whole lot of wisdom. I'm sure they will be along soon to share their own ESH - experience, strength and hope.
Hugs
Cats
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
Welcome!
You are in the right place! I too was told I was "loving her to death" (my AD). I heard those words and
I learned, still learning! These people are great here, and there is always someone to listen and give some feed back. I wouldn't trade SR for all the meetings in Texas.
susan
You are in the right place! I too was told I was "loving her to death" (my AD). I heard those words and
I learned, still learning! These people are great here, and there is always someone to listen and give some feed back. I wouldn't trade SR for all the meetings in Texas.
susan
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