cece

Sigh,
Today feels like a revolving door for me. One minute I am at the Recovery house (state of mind) feeling serenity and the next I am at the Co-Dependant house feeling scared and unsure. Its amazing how I can feel good one minute, so sure of my ability to handle what comes my way and then the next minute I am fearful and anxious wondering what he will do next. Then I read some Literature to redirect me and I feel good again, Back in control, and then I start THINKING! and I feel insecure and needy. So I pray to my Higher Power, give it to him, and know he is in control, so then I Feel good for a bit, and the next minute I am calling my addict and getting in God's way again. I have heard of relapsing but a whole day of yo-Yoing is getting old! I think I'll take a hot bath, and go to bed and try again tomorrow. I have a 9:00 am Al-anon Meeting. sigh
Cathy

lostparent

I know exactly what you mean I go back an forth alot too. Seems one half of my brain understands what I need to do an the other half just don't want to give up. I keep telling myself to " Let go an let God" but then I wonder if maybe God wants me to help...

justjo

Its difficult sometimes isnt it. I have a drug addict son and a alcoholic sister. Im the same as you guys, one minute you have it all tucked in bed, no more you tell yourself, cant do this mad game another day. Leave me alone I say, and then its the old Jo saying but if.....
My phone was ringing at 2am this morning. I feel some days my home is a motel. My nephew turned up, my son was calling, my other son had his girlfriend home and I cant take it.
My son is 24 DA and I pray one day he will get it together. My sister is 40, cronic A, and even after I have told them both I dont want to be in this anymore, they continue to haunt me. I hang up on them, swear and I have also got so out of control with this, I have said the unspeakable to them. Then I feel guilty. I understand how this affects us, we become sick too. The only way I can deal with it now , is to have no contact and that hurts.

parentrecovers

serenity prayer time! support out, k

hope213

cece, when u get like that it is time for a meeting & time to do something good for yourself. sounds to me if u r really doing good. let go & let God,you have the right idea.hugs,

marle

Just like early recovery is a time of feelings being a rollercoaster for the addict, I think it is the same with us codies. We are learning new skills, new ways of thinking. I remember those days when I was fine one minute and the next plotting ways to get my daughter off drugs. Keep working it because the more you do the better at it you will become. Practice, practice practice-you may not become perfect but you will become better. Hugs, Marle

guineapigjude

Ain't it the truth? Sometimes I think I have this recovery stuff down pat, next thing I know I'm wallowing in the codie muck again. But I've noticed I'm able to pull out of the funk quicker and quicker, and not quite so many things trigger the codie madness. I'm trying at this point to be concious of my thoughts as much as possible, and to redirect them to prayer and my HP whenever "it". starts in my brain.I'm also trying to remind myself how darn sick and tired I am of being sick and tired!!!!