should I trust her???
 

Me and my gf have been together about two years now, and I've had some huge trust and ect... issues almost the entire time. Our relationship started out pretty normal. About a month into the relationship she told me she was a recovering addict. It freaked me out but decided as long as she was honest with me we could make it work.

We moved in together shortly after. She would tell me she was doing well and staying clean. Then I would find a needles all the time. We would fight then she would tell me she's done and I wouldn't haven't have to worry about anymore. She would lie to me to get money, get caught lying about what she did with the money and then tell me she's sorry and it wouldn't happen again. One of her dope buddies over dosed in our apartment while I was at work. She continued to use and lie. Five months in she told her daughters father that we were not together anymore so he would send more money. I found out about that she lied said it never happened. So we fought broke up for the night (not even 24 hours). While we were "broke up" she sent her ex nude pictures.

Then after a big fight everything settled back down she seemed to be doing well. Then I started finding more needles, found out she tried to steal money from her job and got caught putting it back. She went to rehab twice and relapsed. Christmas everything seemed good. Found out she was pregnant in January.Since then she has broke into my parents room, stole from her parents, and used, and been to rehab.

That continued up until about three months ago. We've moved into a new apartment to try and get a new start, had the baby, and things really did seem good. Until about a week ago. I found another needle and spoon in the pocket of a jacket. now she said it's old from before we moved, and I'll give her that she hasn't worn the jacket in like 6 months. does that mean she couldn't have put it there since? So I get suspicious and check her e-mail. I was shocked to find that back in September she tried to sell herself to a couple different guys one night. She said she doesn't remember doing it if "she even did it ", but she's claiming responsibility for it. I don't want to go into detail about that but I've never been so hurt in my life.

She is wanting me to trust her, but I'm having a hard time. We've been fighting because she feels that she is a different person now and wants to leave that life in the past and wants me do the same. She is at home with the kids all day and doesn't get any time to herself to go shopping or anything because of the trust issues that I have and this frustrates her.

Any advice that can help me or her understand how to work this out?
Should we split up because we can't see eye to eye?

In answer to your question "should i trust her?"

probably not...

I would suggest educating yourself on addiction ....start by reading posts and stickys at the top and keep posting....

you will need to be aware of your finances and secure all money and valuables asap

also you need to be sure that the children are not in harm's way
it sounds like she used during the pregnancy...how is the baby??

september is not that long ago....i doubt she is a "new" person in october

she probably does want things to be different but it is not that easy...addiction is a horrific disease and it sounds like she needs help and a strong desire to change

please take care of yourself and the children
alanon or naranon meetings would be so helpful

it is a difficult path....
I will keep you in my prayers

when i mentioned september let me state that it was last septemper 06. just to clarify.

Jungledj, welcome to SR.

Should you trust her? I would think not, she has done nothing to indicate she is trustworthy.

She is doing what addicts do. This was written by the founder of this site, a recovering addict named Jon. It explains clearly what we can expect when we live with anyone in active addiction.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ddicts-do.html

Take a read around, feel free to share as you like, it sounds like you are in a bad place and I doubt she is ready to change any time soon. Just know we are here and we care.

Hugs

Hi Jungled...welcome.There is so much to learn and to share on this site. I hope it gives you the tools you need to answer such questions. To me, I learned the answer is within...if I am feeling stressed, and anxious and I am sneaking around and going through stuff and have that rock in my stomach...well soemthing is wrong and I am in a very, very dark place. It was only once I started working on me, that I gained the tools I needed to do what i need to do for me with addiction in my life.

Keep reading and sharing...Have you tried any Alanon meetings? it all truly helps

welcome to S.R you have come to the right place. you ask can you trust her. read your post & i think you can answer that yourself. read at the top of our forum"what addicts do". read post her by others. addicts do what they do when they get ready.you can not help her.if you decide u want to go the road with the addict u will need tools to help yourself.read around & keep coming back.i am sorry you are going thru this.prayers for you & your girlfriend.