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he was not honest with the counselor and made our problems seem like simple communication-type issues. An abuser is a master manipulator and can turn a couples counseling situation into a forum for his controlling behavior. I don't know how many times my ex started a sentence with "you know what the counselor said" when I would try to confront him on something. Just be careful. When I started setting and maintaining boundaries, things changed at our house. And it wasn't exactly pleasant... he was used to the "dance" the way it had always been. I realized that he was going to be meaner and stronger and more manipulative to get his way... and I also realized I deserved better. Talking to a woman's shelter is a good idea. The people there can help you with information. Gathering information doesnt mean that you are going to take any action. It just means you have some more information should you CHOOSE to take an action. We are here for you,and we really do understand. Hugs Cats |
(((Drained))) I don't mean to sound harsh but all of the marriage counseling in the world is not going to fix your marriage if your ah doesn't stop using drugs. He can never be a whole partner to you the way he is. Hopefully the counselor will get through to him that that is the first thing he has to work on. You have to take care of yourself. I know it is hard I am a codie myself trying to recover. I know that my daughter and I cannot have a real relationship unless she is clean and sober. I'm glad you are getting help for yourself. Sending prayers and support. Hugs...........Lo |
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