aztchr

My parents are practically raising my 3 year old niece. They may even file soon for temporary custody. Guilt is for something you did wrong. You are protecting your grandchildren and keeping them safe and that is not wrong!! (in my opinion)

pjbs55

Welcome from another mom. Please don't feel guilty about taking your grandchildren during the day, you are putting them first over your daughter. You are doing the right thing keeping them safe, until their dad gets home.
Please keep saying the serenity prayer and remember the 3c's
1. YOU DID NOT CAUSE IT
2. YOU CAN NOT CONTROL IT
3. YOU CAN NOT CURE IT
Please go to Nar-Anon meetings, I know there are a few in your area, I just saw the list tonight. They will help and you can get a phone list so you can also call someone if you need help at anytime.
It hurts to see a child do this to themselves, they not only hurt them but we feel the pain too.
My heart goes out to you, good luck in your journey.
Hugs coming to you

missionlady

Thanks..you are right, of course. But it still breaks my heart. Is there a better place to discuss this question, since I am new to this board?
And yes, there is a nar-anon meeting at my church, so I will definitley start attending again.
Thanks to you all.

Lobo

Sickatheart,
I know your pain all too well. Another mom her of a 26 yr. old. I am proud to call her my RAD now. She is doing really well. She started using when she was 21. It has been a rough 5 yrs. Many bad things have happened to her. I became as sick as she was. Finally I decided to let her face the consequenses of her behavior.
She has been in and out of rehabs but only to come out and fail again. This time she detoxed herself and took care of her self. The difference this time is that she wants to be clean. She told me she is tired trying to chase the drug. She said it just got to be too much work and she doesn't ever want to go to jail again. She said she is basically just tired of living that life.
They say when staying high is harder than staying clean they will change.

My heart goes out to you.......I understand your pain.........Lo

Hangin' In

Joanne,

Another mother of an addicted daughter here. Today my daughter is in recovery and for that I am very grateful, so don't ever lose heart.

The only way I was able to learn to let go and let my daughter figure out what she wanted to do about her addiction was to attend Al Anon meetings. Adding meetings to my life has helped me save my sanity. And my daughter will tell you that by me attending meetings, it has made her road of recovery easier. I am NOT saying I attend meetings to get her sober though. She has to manage her own life and own recovery. But by attending meetings, I learned to stop the enabling...the stuff I did to help her stay in her addiction.

Just please try some meetings.

Hugs,
Hangin' In

caileesnana

Welcome, you are in a good place!
susan

Spiritual Seeker

Since you asked: The biggest life lesson I have learned since finding out my only child is an addict is that I can NOT control it, can Not control him, can NOT control who he will associate with etc. Letting go has been a C-change I am learning to apply that principle to all my affairs. It has changed me and made my life much easier. I focus on how to manage my own life and seek my own joy, spiritual path healthy relationships etc. the firmer our grip on them the sicker we become.
Letting go is freeing.

Serenity Bound

Joanne, Welcome to SR from another Mom. You have found the right place. You've already gotten good advice. Please remember the 3 C's. And please find a face to face meeting. Believe when I say,that the above advice will help YOU. You see, my AD, (just relapsed last week), and without my naranon and SR friends I would be in VERY bad place. But this time around, I'm not. I have my friends, my higher power & my naranon tools.

I'm not saying I'm not hurt, scared, pissed and the whole nine yards, but I am saying that I am in a much better place.

Hugs & Prayers
Chris
:praying