I am MAD !
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
I am MAD !
No more Mrs. Nice Guy for me. I am mad, Mad, MAD ! 
I am a nice person. I don't "do" anger very well. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I was really, truly, honest-to-god mad. Well, I am today !
I am angry. Ticked off. Fuming. Pacing. Unable to concentrate at work. Spitting nails. Stomping my feet. Grinding my teeth. And it's over something trite... but it obviously triggered something very big in me.
I want to throw things. Hit things. I want to spew all sorts of ugly words in someone's direction.
BUT I don't want to have to make those darn amends later, so I am TRYING to work this off in a healthy manner.
With that said, I'd feel really really good if I could just kick a certain someone RIGHT in the shins. :uzi2:
So what do I do now??
I am a nice person. I don't "do" anger very well. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I was really, truly, honest-to-god mad. Well, I am today !
I am angry. Ticked off. Fuming. Pacing. Unable to concentrate at work. Spitting nails. Stomping my feet. Grinding my teeth. And it's over something trite... but it obviously triggered something very big in me.
I want to throw things. Hit things. I want to spew all sorts of ugly words in someone's direction.
BUT I don't want to have to make those darn amends later, so I am TRYING to work this off in a healthy manner.
With that said, I'd feel really really good if I could just kick a certain someone RIGHT in the shins. :uzi2:
So what do I do now??
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
Hey Cats...
I gotta agree with Dazed on this one...
When I get worked up like this, I just HAVE TO hit the gym. Exercise seems to work the toxins out of my system and I ALWAYS leave feeling like I got my balance back.
Maybe a nice long walk or something is in order?
Whatever you do...
I hope you feel better soon !!!!
Hugs...
I gotta agree with Dazed on this one...
When I get worked up like this, I just HAVE TO hit the gym. Exercise seems to work the toxins out of my system and I ALWAYS leave feeling like I got my balance back.
Maybe a nice long walk or something is in order?
Whatever you do...
I hope you feel better soon !!!!
Hugs...
Bridge CLOSED
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Punch a pillow. Go somewhere where no one will hear you and YELL (be sure no one hears you tho!). Run until you get one of those side stitches and have no more breath and then run some more.
Or.... just walk up to 'em and have at their shins. I have found that shin kicking usually results in an immediate counter reaction of a punch from the receiver of the kick, so be sure to duck... and wear shin guards in case they kick back! (Just kidding).
Or.... just walk up to 'em and have at their shins. I have found that shin kicking usually results in an immediate counter reaction of a punch from the receiver of the kick, so be sure to duck... and wear shin guards in case they kick back! (Just kidding).
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
I don't do too well getting over things, I generally have to get through them.
For me, it is a matter of processing the real feelings. You know something got triggered... why not journal about it?
Figure out the feeling behind the anger... generally, it is fear. Fear of being not good enough... fear of feeling discounted.... fear of being unheard, or unloved. Those are the big ones for me.
Then think about when in your past you've had those feelings before.... for me, it all goes back to childhood. I was never good enough for mom or dad. There were times I did not do my best, and they always, always called me on it - but, conversely, when I DID do my best... they still yelled and figured out where I could have done it faster, better or more completely. I could not BE good enough.
What I also (try) to do is figure out my part in the current situation. The other person almost NEVER knows about my past, so my big response to their smaller slight is often out of character for me and out of their range of understanding. I have to take responsibility for the size of my fear and my angry response.
I can write about that... most of that writing starts out with me wanting to physically hurt the offending one.... by the time I am done, I've gone full circle to wanting to hurt myself then understanding me and them and asking for my Higher Power's help in getting through this.
It really, REALLY helps to share this with my sponsor. Writing it out, talking it out and then praying for strength and compassion.
I am sorry you are having this struggle... prayers that you can find the lesson and the relief. (((Cat)))
For me, it is a matter of processing the real feelings. You know something got triggered... why not journal about it?
Figure out the feeling behind the anger... generally, it is fear. Fear of being not good enough... fear of feeling discounted.... fear of being unheard, or unloved. Those are the big ones for me.
Then think about when in your past you've had those feelings before.... for me, it all goes back to childhood. I was never good enough for mom or dad. There were times I did not do my best, and they always, always called me on it - but, conversely, when I DID do my best... they still yelled and figured out where I could have done it faster, better or more completely. I could not BE good enough.
What I also (try) to do is figure out my part in the current situation. The other person almost NEVER knows about my past, so my big response to their smaller slight is often out of character for me and out of their range of understanding. I have to take responsibility for the size of my fear and my angry response.
I can write about that... most of that writing starts out with me wanting to physically hurt the offending one.... by the time I am done, I've gone full circle to wanting to hurt myself then understanding me and them and asking for my Higher Power's help in getting through this.
It really, REALLY helps to share this with my sponsor. Writing it out, talking it out and then praying for strength and compassion.
I am sorry you are having this struggle... prayers that you can find the lesson and the relief. (((Cat)))
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: MI
Posts: 132
maybe allowing yourself to get angry or at least just feel it? It's a real emotion ya know and it's there for a reason...figure out what it trying to tell you. Embrace it don't react to it ( aka calling names you'll regret later)
Or run
that's what I do...
Or run
that's what I do...
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Originally Posted by nevergivingup 
I say kick him!
Let 'er rip, Cat, we're here and we care and we've got your back.
:firefight
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
For me, when I'm angry that's when I have to write the FU letters!!
To the person, I think I'm angry at
To the situation
To the disease
To the world
and
maybe even to me for "letting" myself get in this situation
Usually after I have "vented" the anger, I can get to some other emotions that are going on with this anger also -
and somedays - I just have to feel mad - Just for Today - tomorrow I'll work on regaining the calmness - but today I'll allow myself to feel mad.
You are a very wise woman, cats - write it out, work it out, clean it out, feel it out - whatever works for you - most of all remember to please be good to YOU.
Hope that you are able to do what you need to do to healthily process your emotions and also take care of you in this process.
((cats))
Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers,
Rita
To the person, I think I'm angry at
To the situation
To the disease
To the world
and
maybe even to me for "letting" myself get in this situation
Usually after I have "vented" the anger, I can get to some other emotions that are going on with this anger also -
and somedays - I just have to feel mad - Just for Today - tomorrow I'll work on regaining the calmness - but today I'll allow myself to feel mad.
You are a very wise woman, cats - write it out, work it out, clean it out, feel it out - whatever works for you - most of all remember to please be good to YOU.
Hope that you are able to do what you need to do to healthily process your emotions and also take care of you in this process.
((cats))
Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers,
Rita
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Originally Posted by nevergivingup
I say kick him!
Cats, I feel for you. I've experienced BLINDING anger over what to some may seem trivial.
If its professional, I usually get over it eventually by telling myself that chances are they'll out themselves before I ever have another run in with them.
If its personal...well lets just say I don't handle that quite as well. Very good chance due to fear as BigSis mentioned.
I say let 'er rip also, here where its safe. Then if you still need to, borrow the slippers.
Hope your day improves
(((Hugs)))
Cece
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Falling Waters, WV
Posts: 150
Leave it to me..but..in all honesty..this must be said...But...this goes back to a really old message I had posted to you....hummm..but..you still didn't fix the problem. You need to pull your dress out of your pantyhose and you will feel so much better :O)!!!
I still love your little icon..evertime i look at it...it makes me smile!!
Cheer up honey...it will get better!!
I still love your little icon..evertime i look at it...it makes me smile!!
Cheer up honey...it will get better!!
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Well.....
I say, get in the car, blast the radio, and scream your head off.
(unless you truly think kicking him would be a good problem solver...if that's the case, go right ahead....)
I say, get in the car, blast the radio, and scream your head off.
(unless you truly think kicking him would be a good problem solver...if that's the case, go right ahead....)
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
((( all my SR friends )))
See, I KNEW you would understand... and that you would support me in whatever I decided to do. I love your responses - they made me laugh and not take myself quite so seriously.
Trisha, you are absolutely on top of things. This MAN had the nerve to tell me that he didn't like how I dress, and he doesnt like my little white dog, and I have toilet paper on my shoe. How is it HIS problem if my skirt might be <--- stuck in my panty hose? Doesn't he know that what other people think of me is none of my business?????? LOL
I'm better now. Thanks for being here.
Love and hugs
Cats
PS I also truly love the idea of having 15 minutes to throw my own walleyed hissie fit (as my mother would call them...) I think I will start now. Tune into the local news, hopefully I won't be on there as a result of my kicking and screaming on the floor at WalMart (as my kids were known to do)
See, I KNEW you would understand... and that you would support me in whatever I decided to do. I love your responses - they made me laugh and not take myself quite so seriously.
Trisha, you are absolutely on top of things. This MAN had the nerve to tell me that he didn't like how I dress, and he doesnt like my little white dog, and I have toilet paper on my shoe. How is it HIS problem if my skirt might be <--- stuck in my panty hose? Doesn't he know that what other people think of me is none of my business?????? LOL
I'm better now. Thanks for being here.
Love and hugs
Cats
PS I also truly love the idea of having 15 minutes to throw my own walleyed hissie fit (as my mother would call them...) I think I will start now. Tune into the local news, hopefully I won't be on there as a result of my kicking and screaming on the floor at WalMart (as my kids were known to do)
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