trouble letting go
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 34
trouble letting go
Thus far, I 've received what I asked for - my AH is out of the house, I'm living in a peaceful, drug-free environment and we'll be divorced by the end of the month. House will be sold as soon as we find an appropriate buyer, and I'll be free to find myself a new place to live without the "ghosts" in the house. So why I am struggling with letting go?
The first few weeks that we were separated, I still heard from my AH - he would stop by to mow the lawn, work on the house, etc. These were always pleasant interactions between the two of us. He'd even send me text messages each night to say "good night." But he got mad at me last weekend when I chose to do something other than spend time with him. I then didn't hear from him for a few days and he declared himself in a state of deep depression. (you might have read my previous post about this)
Well, I haven't heard a peep from him all week and I can't help but wonder why. Is he angry at me? Is he really depressed? Did the realization of our situation finally hit and he's moving on? If so, why do I care? Why do I continue to wonder about him instead of just letting go and moving on?
I partly blame PMS, but know there has to be more to it than that.
The first few weeks that we were separated, I still heard from my AH - he would stop by to mow the lawn, work on the house, etc. These were always pleasant interactions between the two of us. He'd even send me text messages each night to say "good night." But he got mad at me last weekend when I chose to do something other than spend time with him. I then didn't hear from him for a few days and he declared himself in a state of deep depression. (you might have read my previous post about this)
Well, I haven't heard a peep from him all week and I can't help but wonder why. Is he angry at me? Is he really depressed? Did the realization of our situation finally hit and he's moving on? If so, why do I care? Why do I continue to wonder about him instead of just letting go and moving on?
I partly blame PMS, but know there has to be more to it than that.
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: GA
Posts: 49
"Well, I haven't heard a peep from him all week and I can't help but wonder why. Is he angry at me? Is he really depressed? Did the realization of our situation finally hit and he's moving on? If so, why do I care? Why do I continue to wonder about him instead of just letting go and moving on?"
I wish I was so lucky as to not hear from my ex! Why are you trying to get into his head again - that's a scary, confused and dark place and you're CHOOSING to go there.
"is he angry at me.." who cares, he's probably angry at everyone and everything except for the person who is really to blame for his situation -HIMSELF.
"is he really depressed..." probably. Wouldn't you be if drugging drove your whole world into the pits - let him be depressed, there's nothing you could do about it anyway.
"Did the realization of our situation finally hit and he's moving on..." who cares whether it did or didn't - he's in a drug induced haze and can't see ANYTHING clearly. The only thing he realizes, probably, is that there is one less person in his life that will put up with his crap, and it pisses him off.
Please don't sit there and wallow, and don't go out looking for some man to replace him (at this point you might just choose another addict). Relax, enjoy the fact that he's gone and get to know yourself again - the GOOD "you" that has probably been hidden for a long time.
LH
I wish I was so lucky as to not hear from my ex! Why are you trying to get into his head again - that's a scary, confused and dark place and you're CHOOSING to go there.
"is he angry at me.." who cares, he's probably angry at everyone and everything except for the person who is really to blame for his situation -HIMSELF.
"is he really depressed..." probably. Wouldn't you be if drugging drove your whole world into the pits - let him be depressed, there's nothing you could do about it anyway.
"Did the realization of our situation finally hit and he's moving on..." who cares whether it did or didn't - he's in a drug induced haze and can't see ANYTHING clearly. The only thing he realizes, probably, is that there is one less person in his life that will put up with his crap, and it pisses him off.
Please don't sit there and wallow, and don't go out looking for some man to replace him (at this point you might just choose another addict). Relax, enjoy the fact that he's gone and get to know yourself again - the GOOD "you" that has probably been hidden for a long time.
LH
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