rahsue

well, ras is now just as "again". I thought before I spoke this time,I told him " He either starts a program which I am demanding 3 meetings a week or he finds somewhere else to live because I can't live like this anymore" I do believe I can stick to this because I really can't live like this anymore.:uzi2:

Impurrfect

So sorry you are going through this. I hope you can keep your boundaries and take care of YOU.

Sending you prayers and hugs!
Amy

marle

Sending prayers you and your son's way. Letting him live with you and having him relapse repeatedly with no consequences does neither of you any good. I know it is hard but stick to your boundaries. His disease is going to progress with or without your assistance. And he is the only one that can do anything to stop it. It is easier not having that front row seat. Hugs, Marle

Louise54

My ras recently relapsed and is now on the suboxone program. I'm not sure if he would have stopped had it not been for the threat of a pee test at work. But I guess whatever it takes. He is still living with us, but is basically only allowed to eat, sleep and go to work. He has to obey the rules or out he goes. He's 22. This has truly got to be his last chance. If he blows this job, there's nothing much else we can do for him.

It's so frustrating, and I know how you feel about being sick and tired of the whole mess. You are in my thoughts and so is your as.

mooselips

(((rahsue)))
It's amazing how fast they lapse into their old behaviors.
And you have really had a front row seat with him living at home.

Boundaries....it's a good thing....

NEITHER of my sons do meetings.
(sure wish they would....)

caileesnana

Sticking to the boundries is the hardest part, but if you say it, you had better do it!

It hurts us more than them, but I know several from SR and my meeting who say if they parent/SO hadn't stopped their own 'quacking' they would still be using.

You in my prayers, I know how hard it will be for you.
susan

Done_With_It

We usually don't change until we are forced to change. If I had a place to live at my mom's house (a safe place) a roof over my head, that probably wouldn't have moved me to change.
"Demands" from my Mom didn't hold near as much as the threat of my eviction notices did, or that I knew I would start to get if I didn't stop.
Drugs are more powerful than you or your threats or promises. (I don't mean that mean at all.)
But it's just the truth, I remember my mom trying to talk sense into me (she didn't know what was wrong with me), and I couldn't see her reason... Her logic was unlogical to me.
The thought of living on the street was something that my brain took seriously and pushed me to change.

((((Rashue))))

Done_With_It

lol, omg, how pathetic I make myself sound when I read how I was... arghhhh...
I hate drugs...

hope213

i know this is hard on you. you made your boundries now is the time to stick with them.let him fall. it is tough watching our sons destroy themselves but there is nothing we can do. take care of yourself & do something good for you. we r here. i am saying prayers for u both & big hugs to you.

DoingWell

Careful of this kind of boundary.. my xhb would opt for working on recovery with a "program" and still used, but hey he did what I wanted right?
I had to go as far as saying. Use again and your OUT. I know that sounds really harsh but with an addict you need to be as specific as possible about WHAT YOU WANT. I didn't just want him "Working a program" I wanted him clean and I wanted him to want it for himself.. let's be honest.. we want them to be clean, why can't our boundary be just that? It was that simple for me and I followed through with it because like you said :

rahsue

thank you all for the support. I actually just got back from the emergency room, I had an anxiety attack and I thought it was a heart attack. I am so tired of this crap. I'll get better, this is just a relapse for me.

bookmiser

(((((((Rahsue))))))))

I'm sorry for the pain and fear that your son's relapse is causing for you.
It took a long time for me, but I finally hit my own rock bottom and couldn't allow my son to live with me anymore. It was such a hard time for both of us, I think.
Him, trying to grow up and do what he will do, while I wouldn't let him grow up and was constantly worrying and threatening him with empty threats.
Finally, enough was enough. I love my son, who'll be 26 in November, but I just can't live in the same house with him. Just can't. Too much chaos and drama for me.
Sending prayers up for you, for strength in boundries, and for him. That he get through the relapse and know that he has to stop the abuse of drugs and start recovery again, to heal.
Hugs,
Linda

marle

When our addicts start to impact our health, it is time to take a step back. I know that I was a chain-smoking, coffee drinking skeleton during a time in my daughter's addiction. I was always on edge and exhausted. I am taking care of myself for once and putting my needs first. She is making contact but I am not jumping on my white steed and going to her rescue. I have learned my lesson there. I let myself have a bit of a fantasy of how I could change her life, but I leave it at that-a fantasy. I hope that you start to feel better. There is nothing worse than anxiety. It is a feeling that I dread. Hugs, Marle

Done_With_It

Oh man, I'm sorry, take care of yourself...

Lobo

rashue,
I'm sorry you are going through a rough time right now. I know I, my AD lives with me and I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. For now she is good, I hope it continues.

Keping you and your son in prayer.............Lo

rahsue

you guys are my rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pjbs55

(((Rahsue)))
Please take care of you. I know how anixety attacks can effect you. You have to take care of you and this time. I know it is hard to make your son move, I did it. But
you have to put you first, stick to your boundaries. Good luck,
Hugs and prayers coming up to you