a bit of a struggle

Old 09-27-2007, 08:54 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Sorry I'm late! You are one of the best, most kind people I've "met" You inspire me and encourage me when I didn't have the strength to go on. I think you are entitled to feel blue every once in a while, you're human! I too struggle w/ depression and anxiety biologically, plus w/ what we all are going through??????

I hope you feel better soon, and know how much you mean to so many.

love ya,
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Old 09-27-2007, 10:03 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
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Great Big Hugs. Lots of things trigger these feelings. Sometimes it's the season, sometimes the weather and sometimes there are things that we read, or smell or even someone saying something that takes us back to a time of great pain. It may not even be something that is a direct impact on us personally, but rather something we empathize with. That trigger may not even be obvious.

You've been through so much Greet. You've climbed a mountain and topped it and going down the other side, it may be easier now, but it's still the mountain.

Expectations may let us down sometimes, but we can't live without them. We just learn to manage them as best we can. It's not our shortcommings for having those expectations. Your expectation was a very reasonable, informed one. Anyone thinking you can or should just snap out of it....well my first thought was, I've got something I'd like to snap out of them. LOL

My biggest concern though reading your post is, do you have too high of an expectation of yourself? Do you allow yourself the relief of knowing that it's OK to need a break, it's OK to sit and take a rest, it's OK to be on those meds as long as you need to be? It is OK Greet, you are a human being, with feelings. You have a wonderful kind, loving heart, and you have feelings that can be hurt.

I'm sending lots of Prayers and Hugs your way. Love you girl.
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Old 09-27-2007, 10:43 PM
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I'm sorry I am so late on this one. You are just simply too nice to not feel good.
I think sometimes it is our body's way of telling us to take a time out and be gentle with ourselves.

For all that you have been through Greet, it's okay to have these down times. You'll get back on track. Allow yourself to feel what you have to feel. I know when I get this way I say I am putting myself away for a while. I take care of myself and if I want to put blanket over my head I do. Eventually I start to feel better and I come through. We all are going through a lot here and I think for all of what we have to endure we are all doing a pretty d**n good job.

Take care sweetie and if you have any room under that blanket I'll join you.

Love and hugs.........Lo
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Old 09-28-2007, 04:51 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Living in the light
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(( Greet )) Taking anti anxiety and depression meds as needed is okay. It's not a sign of weakness or an inability to cope on one's own. Check in with your doctor and please be gentle with yourself.

I have the utmost respect for you, your honesty, courage in the face of terrible loss, shining recovery,capacity for love and wisdom.

Love you Greet

It's okay to be feeling not so okay from time to time. We are human beings after all
and some bad days are part of every one's life. Haven't met a single soul on this planet yet who doesn't! I often say we are all beautifully imperfect beings.
IMO any one who thinks otherwise is denying their own and other's humanity. We all struggle. Sharing our struggles brings out the best in our own and other's humanity.
Nobody's perfect! God bless her, Mother Theresa herself likely had codie tendencies and bad days too. LOL.

Last edited by frankie_b; 09-28-2007 at 05:18 AM.
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Old 09-28-2007, 04:52 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I am so sorry your feeling down. I hope you know there is absolutly nothing wrong with depending on antidepressents. I probably take about 15 health historys a day at work & you truley wouldn't believe how many people are on them. It does not make you weak. It means your brain chemicals need a little boost to feel normal. Just as with diabeties, thyroid ect, peolpe need medication. I have been on celexa for quite some time & felt like you, it would be temoprary cuz I was going to beat it. Well now you would have to cut off my right arm before I let you take that away.
I hope you know how much you are loved. You are honestly in the top 10 inspartional people I have ever met in my life. You are so strong (emotionally & you have those kick ass deltoids.. lol) You are so kind, giving, non judgemental, smart, beautiful, gosh I could go on & on.
I hope you are feeling better soon. Remember the feeling is temporary. You will soon be feeling like your old self. My girlfriends son always tells his mom ...Goosefrava mom goosefrava. Somehow that silly word along with a deep breath makes me smile. Maybe give it a try. Sending hugs.
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Old 09-28-2007, 06:43 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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You dear, sweet woman.

I love you to pieces. I really and truly do...

What struck me most about your post is how you said you cried and felt like a big old fake when your co-worker hugged you and told you how strong you are. I felt a big twinge in my heart when I read that because I've had those feelings too. I remember that there were plenty of times when I just wanted to tell people, 'don't be nice to me...please, please, please don't show any extra love or kindness to me today'...because kind words and expressions of support and admiration made me feel so incredibly weak for some reason. Why is that? I'm not sure... I think I tried so damn hard to put up a brave front...when inside I felt weak...and the slightest act of kindness seemed to touch me in a place that was too raw...too vulnerable...too sad.

I'm sending extra big hugs to you today...and prayers too...
I pray that your heart might know how much you are loved...
I hope you feel the hearts and hands of your friends here at SR holding you up in prayer and surrounding you with love and light.

Love you Greet...
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Old 09-28-2007, 07:58 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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((((hugs))))for you greet. Believe me I can relate to everything you said.
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Old 09-28-2007, 07:59 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by greeteachday View Post
I feel hurt that an earthling who I care about and who I thought had some clue all but said just "snap out of it." I am reminding myself that my viewpoint is distorted right now and I shouldn’t get upset by it…but this one is hard. Expectations…they will get me every time. When I feel less raw, I have to revisit this one and work through it.
Some people just don't understand. Thank God we have access to forums like this.
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Old 09-28-2007, 09:12 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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****{Big hugs, Greet}}}
Several people already pointed out that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. It's not it's something you can control, though as codie's we have 2 reasons for fighting taking meds....first, we all tend to want to control what we can't and second we relate it to the drugs that our addicts take and both reasons are soooo wrong.
I have been taking anti-depressants for 15 yrs., my mom has been taking them for 40 yrs. (it's a genetically predisposed type of imbalance). I also take meds to make my thyroid work right, and will have to take them the rest of my life. There is no difference between the need for the thyroid pill and the need for the anti-depressant.
I really wish we, as a society, could learn to accept the need for anti-depressants without the stigma associated with them. Someday :-)
****{One more big hug}}} Barb
PS...A few years ago, I very slowly went off my pills (you can't stop them quickly) and after about a month, well suffice to say it was worse than horrible. I learned my lesson the extremely hard way and will never try doing anything like that again.
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Old 09-28-2007, 09:30 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Just wanted to stop in quickly before I get on the road to the conference. I just love you just don't know!!
I feel better this morning...can feel the sort of hyperness that I got when I was starting the med, so I know it is starting to work. I'm blessed that my system responses fast. Feels like too much caffiene, but I would much rather have that than darkness.
My daughter just called me too. I've been worried about her...she's been feeling rejected and discouraged as she seeks employment in her new town...She's trying so hard and it hurts my heart to feel her hurt and know I am powerless. She is so brave and keeps pushing forward. Anyway, she has found a college program she really wants to oursue (mass transportation to her old college is nonexistant so she had to take this semester off and explore her options) and an agency she is working with called about a job that is right along the light rail line. So HP is sending me messages for sure!!!! Please say a prayer for her....I'm codie enough still to be tied emotionally to her life going well. She wants so to be independent and make her own way, so I pray HP helps her find the tools to do so!

Many hugs
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Old 09-28-2007, 10:48 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Greet -

Glad you're feeling better.

Prayers to you and your daughter.

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Old 09-28-2007, 11:05 AM
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(((((GREET))))))) So many true things said above............just wanted to give you a big giant huge hug.
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Old 09-28-2007, 11:09 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Sending some prayers that Megan gets a good job and that college works out for her. Prayers for you too to come back from your weekend feeling lots better. Hugs, Marle
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Old 09-28-2007, 09:03 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Sorry I missed sending my love out to ya yesterday.
I'm sending it now. Hope it adds to your feeling better.
Hey! Check out this beautiful picture I's for you.
With Love,

It doesn't go too well with my avatar. lol
I'm looking for something new. This one, I can only take for so long. Spooky
I'm trying to make it my avatar, but it won't fit or something. Arrgggg!
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Old 09-28-2007, 09:14 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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i hope you are feeling better today. hugs,hope

Last edited by hope213; 09-28-2007 at 09:31 PM.
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