New here, my story
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: TN
Posts: 55
New here, my story
I found out my husband was using crack and coke in February. I've given him dozens of "last chances" until last Wednesday. He did it again, and I told him to pack his bags. He talked me into staying again and of course I let him if he would agree to go to two meetings a week and church.
Well, I had a weird feeling this morning and I ran home and looked in his car and white stuff was smeared all over the seats. I went in and confronted him and he refused to take one of the drug tests I had ordered online, then he finally admitted to doing it again.
His parents are picking up our two year old from daycare, then when I get off work, I'm going to their house to stay. My daughter and I will both stay there for tonight, or maybe a few more nights, but I really want him out of our house. I don't want to be the one who has to move.
Well, I had a weird feeling this morning and I ran home and looked in his car and white stuff was smeared all over the seats. I went in and confronted him and he refused to take one of the drug tests I had ordered online, then he finally admitted to doing it again.
His parents are picking up our two year old from daycare, then when I get off work, I'm going to their house to stay. My daughter and I will both stay there for tonight, or maybe a few more nights, but I really want him out of our house. I don't want to be the one who has to move.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Sherry, I want to welcome you and to send a big hug because today you did a very brave thing. I'm so sorry this is happening, but glad you are keeping yourself and your child safe.
Something that may help you get through this and find your balance again is going to a meeting. Maybe your inlaws could care for your child while you take some "you" time and go see what it's all about.
My prayers go out for all of you, this must be a very emotionally draining time.
Hugs
Something that may help you get through this and find your balance again is going to a meeting. Maybe your inlaws could care for your child while you take some "you" time and go see what it's all about.
My prayers go out for all of you, this must be a very emotionally draining time.
Hugs
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
Can you imagine your child having contact with the stuff in that car? You did the right thing. I am proud of you for that.
I know it's hard, but addiction only gets worse until the addict seeks help. Trying to make them get help won't work.
Keep yourself and the baby safe.
I know it's hard, but addiction only gets worse until the addict seeks help. Trying to make them get help won't work.
Keep yourself and the baby safe.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: TN
Posts: 55
Thanks guys! Last night was so hard!!!! His mom and dad picked up our little girl while I went home to pack. I had to tell him I didn't want to come back to him in his condition. It was hard being at grandma and grandpa's house because at their house bedtime is at 10 pm instead of 8pm, lol
But at least there aren't any drugs there, and we're safe. I'll find a meeting to go to. I never really thought of going to one by myself. I just kept nagging him to go to one.
But at least there aren't any drugs there, and we're safe. I'll find a meeting to go to. I never really thought of going to one by myself. I just kept nagging him to go to one.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Stay strong! You can do it. I've realized that life is hard enough. It's alot easier to be a single parent then be in a relationship with a crack-smoker. You can rely on yourself. You can never rely on them.
When my ex left on a binge, and then wanted to come home, I told him I would call the police and tell them he had been smoking crack and I didn't feel safe or feel that my child was safe. I meant it when I said it. He never came back or called again.
You are doing the right thing. It's not always easy but the right thing isn't always easy.
When my ex left on a binge, and then wanted to come home, I told him I would call the police and tell them he had been smoking crack and I didn't feel safe or feel that my child was safe. I meant it when I said it. He never came back or called again.
You are doing the right thing. It's not always easy but the right thing isn't always easy.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
Sherry,
You did the right thing.
You have to put your wellbeing and the wellbeing of your child first.
I left my exah a little over 3 years ago with my 5 yr old son in tow because I just couldn't take another minute of the insanity. It was so hard...but I promise...it will get easier. Give yourself time and be patient and loving with yourself right now. You just have to concentrate on doing the 'right thing' one day at a time. Things WILL get easier, I promise.
Hugs to a great mom...
You did the right thing.
You have to put your wellbeing and the wellbeing of your child first.
I left my exah a little over 3 years ago with my 5 yr old son in tow because I just couldn't take another minute of the insanity. It was so hard...but I promise...it will get easier. Give yourself time and be patient and loving with yourself right now. You just have to concentrate on doing the 'right thing' one day at a time. Things WILL get easier, I promise.
Hugs to a great mom...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
You just have to concentrate on doing the 'right thing'
****{hugs}}} stay true.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: TN
Posts: 55
I already know my next step.....this living arrangement is not going to work for my little girl. We're on day number 4 now staying with my inlaws and she has been up until ten, with no nap. She usually goes to bed at 8. She's so cranky, she's tired, she wants her daddy, and she keeps asking to go home and see her daddy.
We're sleeping on a little twin bed at my in laws house with their dog snoring outside our room.
I forgot to grab any shoes....all i have are the black pumps I wore to work on the day I packed my stuff.
I'm a mess right now......and I'm so mad at him. My daughter and I need our home back and we need to get him out of there, so that's my next project.
We're sleeping on a little twin bed at my in laws house with their dog snoring outside our room.
I forgot to grab any shoes....all i have are the black pumps I wore to work on the day I packed my stuff.
I'm a mess right now......and I'm so mad at him. My daughter and I need our home back and we need to get him out of there, so that's my next project.
Bridge CLOSED
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Welcome and I thoroughly understand the need and desire for him to do the moving.
When, after alomost 20 years of marriage, I knew I could not take my husband's alcoholism any longer, I wanted HIM to move. that just was not going to happen. We had a farm and, while HIS moving would have probably done a world of good for him, he was not going.
So I ended up moving and my life went on. To my very bones I wish I could have figured another way and had him move, but I just could not. I have thought about it often and this was 8 years ago!
Reel forward.. second time around.. 6 years later, BF moves in with me. EVERYThING is in my name. He stays one year but turns out to be a drug addict. he leaves because I OWN THE HOUSE and if anyone is going it is going to be him.
Yes, he SHOULD move out and stay out. He should do so willingly as he is the addict and his daughter is caught in the middle. He should do this for his baby girl.
However, he is an addict in active addiction so you may have an uphill road here.
I am so sorry this is happening to you and your child. No child should grow up in a house with an addict parent or parents.
When, after alomost 20 years of marriage, I knew I could not take my husband's alcoholism any longer, I wanted HIM to move. that just was not going to happen. We had a farm and, while HIS moving would have probably done a world of good for him, he was not going.
So I ended up moving and my life went on. To my very bones I wish I could have figured another way and had him move, but I just could not. I have thought about it often and this was 8 years ago!
Reel forward.. second time around.. 6 years later, BF moves in with me. EVERYThING is in my name. He stays one year but turns out to be a drug addict. he leaves because I OWN THE HOUSE and if anyone is going it is going to be him.
Yes, he SHOULD move out and stay out. He should do so willingly as he is the addict and his daughter is caught in the middle. He should do this for his baby girl.
However, he is an addict in active addiction so you may have an uphill road here.
I am so sorry this is happening to you and your child. No child should grow up in a house with an addict parent or parents.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 204
I'm a mess right now......and I'm so mad at him. My daughter and I need our home back and we need to get him out of there, so that's my next project.
GOOD FOR YOU.. take back your home! When I had enough I packed all of his stuff, I gathered as much evidence as I could in case he protested.. most addicts won't protest too much when you lay down the facts and present the evidence.. what addict do you know will go get a lawyer before their next fix.. ? Not many.
I packed his things and placed them all out front with a note. NO Drug users allowed in MY home with my children.. PERIOD.
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