Here we go again!
 

Just as I suspected, as has been using for the last 3 weeks after being clean for almost 4 months. After the way he was acting last week, we (in the family) all knew, but didn't let on, because we wanted to see what he was going to do about the drug pee test he is getting tonite with his job.

We hadn't seen him all weekend because he was down the shore with some friends, but when he came back he was claiming he was coming down with something and didn't feel well. After I went to work yesterday, he called me crying. Said he's been using again for a couple of weeks, and he doesn't know why. He said, "I think there's something mentally wrong with me." He said he wants to get on the suboxone program, so off he went to the doctor's to start the program. He thinks that's the only way he'll be able to get through this, and work at the same time. He doesn't want to lose his job, and neither do we. Tired of paying all of his debts, so we agreed to let him keep living with us as long as he abides by our rules. He is to pretend he is on lockdown. He is to go to work everyday and come home and be grateful he has a roof over his head. If he was in rehab he wouldn't be able to go anywhere either. I'll keep socking all of his money away, and if he doesn't like the rules then he can take his money, after he's done paying his debt, and live on his own.

Does this ever end?

it ends when HE decides it does. we are powerless. i know your pain. your son sounds as if he wants the help.he admitted his use. i hope this will work for him.i am saying a prayer for your son & your family.hugs,

((louise))

Hope is right, it ends when it ends... prayers that this is his bottom, and that he'll put his efforts and energy into working a program of recovery.

YOUR recovery shines brightly. You set some good and strong boundaries, and it sounds like you are detaching with love.

Be extra gentle and kind to yourself today...

Hugs

Cats

And if it doesn't end with them, then it ends when WE say "enough".

I'm sorry it continues, Louise, and I hope this is the jolt he needs to get back on a good path.

I'd do the same thing you are doing, at least as long as his actions show a genuine willingness to get clean and stay clean. For me, the hard part was asking my son to leave if he couldn't respect my boundaries. It got easier when I realized that, at that point, it was serving no useful purpose for either one of us to allow him to stay.

He may be struggling, but I see your recovery shining through brightly.

Hugs

it's hard to watch them relapse, i understand. hugs, k

Louise,
I'm sorry that this has to continue. He kind of sounds like my daughter. It seems in the past she was deep in her addiction and she was awful. It seems now when she relapses she comes to me and tells me and gets herself right back on track. I think that is progress. It certainly is not perfection but it is progress. She is doing well today, but I keep my expectations low. I still live one day at a time.

She is in a suboxone program. She was really sick on it at first. She has gotten more used to it now. When she first takes it she feels nauseated. She has passed all of her drug tests since she has been on it. I know it is helping her to get her life back. I can see it because she lives with me. She said she will take it as long as she has to and then wean off of it. She takes one 8 mg. a day. She did lose a few pounds since she has been on it because of lose of appetite.

The good thing is.......your son told you. It sounds like he wants to get better and he is trying. They say relapse is a part of recovery.

My best to you and your son...........Lo

I'm right there with you louise and lobo, Relapse is sometimes harder to deal with than active addiction. the worry that it's gonna start all over again. I think you have a good sound plan and I hope and pray that it works for you and your son.

good luck and God bless

We couldn't help our son...
 

Hi Louise,

Our son came home after four years in the Navy and took over his room and started behaving like he did when he was a teen...slept all day & played all night. His Dad had had it after six months and told him he had to find his own place and get a job. He found a place and got a job the same day. :usa:

His life progressed with alcohol and some drugs two marriages, one divorce, & two kids later he drove way up in the hills.....got drunk...& drove his truck over a one hundred & fifty foot cliff and now is a quadraplegic.

I don't mean to scare anyone but this is what happened and some of his behavior relates to being in service during Desert Storm. He spends about half a year in the VA Hospital and half a year in his own home with caregivers coming in. He is 38 now.

We tried to help him as much as he would let us, knowing he was suicidal. I know I had to want to get sober for myself not anyone else and the more someone tried to help me or give me advice, the more I would drink.

I hope your son will go to treatment and get some help. You never know what or when it will click for him. :v9

Sorry Louise

((((((Louise))))))

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...ympathy011.jpg

I'm here for you, if you need to talk.
What you both are going through is so hard.
Praying for a good outcome for you, as well as him.

Love,
Linda

Louise, I'm so sorry he went back out...I hope the sub will help him to practice a real recovery program. Every recovering addict i hear at open NA meetings says they relapsed when they got lazy about working the program and they stayed clean when they work it. I know I relapse in my codependency when I get to comfie and don't work it too.

Mom to mom hugs...I sure hope this is his time.

Thanks all. Lobo: He is taking 8 mg's too. He just started yesterday, and he hasn't complained about being nauseous, but he definitely has lost his appetite. He usually gets home from work and immediately wants to know what's for dinner. I haven't heard a peep so far.

I was so baffled that he went back to using after a good 4 months clean, but he said the craving takes at least a year to go away. I guess he'll be taking the suboxone for awhile. But whatever works.

Louise,
The thing my daughter likes about suboxone is that it has a blocker and she said it takes away all of the cravings. For her, she said she doesn't even want any alcohol.
I bet it will help your son with the drinking also.
Sometimes she only takes it every other day because she feels like she doesn't need it.
I hope it works for him.........keep me posted.