duet_4-8

Hi everyone,
Haven't been on much in a while-other than a quick 'read around' to see what's up with you all. Even though I haven't posted much, you are all in my thoughts and prayers daily!

This is a sort of combination 'thinking of you'/update/vent/gratitude post if that makes any sense at all.....

I am doing very well (most of the time) and staying busy taking care of three-month old grandaughter Shelby Grace, working on my teaching degree, and just basically working on me. It will soon be eight (!!!) months since exah left the house, and everything has been relatively peaceful on the home front for the last several weeks, until today............

I don't want to get into details because they don't matter, we all have the same tee shirt.......To make a long story short, I had encouraged my ex to spend some time with our son, which he did last Tuesday while I was in school. He took little bit out to dinner and then left him at oldest son's house for me to pick up.

Any time I have the least bit of contact with him, I guess it is a trigger for him because he has called a couple of times and then he showed up here this afternoon, wanting to talk. Geezzz.....

Same old story........nothing is his fault, he is so misunderstood.......quack quack quack....if we handled this in a "Godly way" then we could work it out.....blah blah blah......he will do anything I ask him to......quacking more.....he was never unfaithful......blah blah blah......he doesn't have a drug problem......



I am not upset, I am not feeling guilty, I held to my boundaries, I was gut-level honest with him about there being no chance of a reconciliation and why. I did not lose my temper, I was calm throughout-though I did get a little flustered trying to keep him on topic (a complete waste of energy-not happening).

Since I have been keeping baby Shelby, I have come to the conclusion that it is a miracle that I didn't go completely bonkers when my own kids were little and I was in the grip of his addiction and my codependency.......and I have been watching late afternoon talk shows for the first time in years. Wednesday afternoon Reba and Kelly Clarkson were on Oprah promoting a new cd called 'Reba Duets' (love the name....LOL!!!)

Check out these lyrics from 'She Can't Save Him':

She can hear his car, as it pulls in the drive.
She can whisper a prayer: "Thank God, he's alive."
She can meet him at the door; catch him when he falls.
She can even believe that it isn't his fault.
But she can't save him

She can make his coffee, in the cold light of day.
She can make his excuses: tell the boss he'll be late.
She can wave at the neighbours, then kiss him goodbye,
And not say a word 'bout what happened last night.
But she can't save him.

Sometimes she dreams that he's caught in a stream,
And the water keeps pulling him down.
She reaches for him, as he pulls her in.
She wakes just before she drowns.

She can remember the man that he was,
And still shed a tear for what he's become.
She can live in that house until the day,
She sees that it's only herself she can save.
But she can't save him.

And that day she'll know she hasn't failed,
'Cos nothing can change until he saves himself.

No, she can't save him.....

Oh, and here is my baby Shelby with 'Uncle D':



And a close up-look at those eyes!!!!!



Thanks for listening, you guys rock!!!! Love you!

Louise54

Thanks for the update! Beautiful children. Wow, those eyes are a killer.

hope213

i love the name,shelby grace. she is a cutie too & so is he. glad u dropped in with the update.it is always good to hear from friends.

frankie_b

Oh what a beautiful baby and cute young uncle.
As for exah, here's a tool that may come in handy when he starts all the quack
quacking.

susieque5

Love that song...do I ever remember all that! And your baby Shelby is beautiful with a beautiful name!
Hugs,
Susie

Ann

Shelby Grace is a wonderful name, and she is as beautiful as her name suggests...

Shelby means "a peaceful sheltered place where willows grow"

Grace means "God's blessing"

Thank you for sharing your pictures, Uncle D is a real sweetheart too.

I'm sorry for the return of chaos, but glad you worked through it so well.

Hugs

guineapigjude

what beautiful kids!

duet_4-8

Thank you for sharing this, Ann; it brought tears to my eyes. Today, after he left (the first time), she was still here. It only took one look at her angel face smiling up at me to make it all disappear.

A peaceful sheltered place.....God's blessing....

Spinner-007

Beautiful kids, Duet. They are blessed to have a strong parent in their lives. Stay strong for them and yourself. And at the risk of over-burdening you or sounding selfish: for us, too!

greeteachday

Glad to hear from you, but sorry the ex is still quacking. Your son and grand daughter are so beautiful. Thanks for the pics!