ghost99

I have to admit sometimes I read these threads and I am thinking of the codie "How can you be so weak?, just leave and get on with your life?".

Then I have to take a quick look in the mirror. I forget that the problem is not the persons addiction but that we love/care for the addicted one. If not for this, in most cases it would make life so much simpler

My wife has been addicted to pain killers off/on forever now. I thought she was doing really well the past year, but lately she's been drinking, but not in a social way. She's never been a drinker but lately I find beer bottles, etc hidden throughout our home. Also, she's also been applying for credit cards in my name, AGAIN.

Tell me if I'm crazy, but I really don't think my wife has a drinking problem. I think she drinks beer to hide the effects of pain pills. Is this common? anytime her pupils were constricted in low light I knew she was on something, but doesn't alcohol cancel this effect out?

Anyway who knows what's going on. My life is always a murky cloudy haze with this going on. Nothing is ever clear. I really thing it's time to move on but I have no idea how to do it. I have 3 wonderful kids and it would kill me not to see them everyday.

Elana

Hi. My Ex father in Law got addicted to Hycodan for a chronic bronchitis he had (this was in the late 70's). The Doctor finally recognized his addiction (the man was in his mid 70's when al this happened) and took him off the Hycodan (codiene). At this point, Pop started to drink to replace the hycodan. We did nto really know but he died suddenly of a heart attack and when we took over the farm and began to clean things out we found alcohol (wine, beer and whiskey) hidden all over the farm.. in the shop, the sheds the basement.. everywhere. Some was all gone, some bottles were part filled.

If she is hiding it from you she has a problem.

Other's problems often seem so clear with solutions so cut and dried. Our own always seem murky and difficult.

BrokenBridges24

Hi Ghost. I agree with Elana.... If she is hiding it there is a problem. My DIL takes medicine for BI Polar Disorder and when she drinks it makes her really bad. She is worse then anything when she puts the two together.

Selah

agreed - often addicts of one substance will replace it with another when they try to stop the DOC.

LearningHusband

Why in the world would you assume that you would not see your kids every day. Step up and figure out how to fight for those kids. If you're wife is in the throes of addiction, it's got to be affecting your kids.

I tried to make my marriage work for a long time, but I also made sure I documented EVERTHING - the pills, the infidelity, EVERYTHING, because I didn't want to be one of those part time dads who's kids were left with an addict mom. When I went to court, I had my ex removed from the house as a danger to our son. When I went for my final divorce, I got the kid, the house, etc. I was very fair in the monies she got (even beyond what she was legally entitled to) because that's my son's mom and I wanted to be above reproach in honoring that fact. However she pissed away all that money in 6 months. No big deal, that was her choice.

I guess my point is, if you decide you have to get divorced, don't just accept that you'll lose custody. Stand up and fight and be a hero to your kids and give them a stable life - even if mama's an addict!