krhea75

Yes, I wrote RAS because I am thinking positively! My son has made it through his 5th stay at rehab. He has been accepted at an Oxford house in the city that his rehab is located in. So now he can continue with outpatient at the rehab. We did have to get him limited emancipation so that he could go to Oxford because he won't turn 18 until May. That required a lawyer and $600, but hopefully it will be worth it. He is ready to be sober, and he doesn't want to come home yet. He realizes that it would be dangerous for him. I am nervous about him going to the Oxford house. He'll be on his own, working a job, getting himself around in a fairly large city. But, i 'm trying to just deal with today. It has enough problems.

But I'm feeling good today. My other son seems to be doing well in college, my financial situation seems to be straightening out, my son is leaving rehab. For today life is good. Perfection not progress.
Krhea

dixied

I am extremely happy for you and yours.Although I do not post as often as once before I have followed your journey. Things are on a positive upswing. Just think.....there was a place waiting for your loved one and that in itself is a blessing. Your other child is doing well in college.....what a truly wonderful blessing that is. Your financial situation is improving.........light at the end of the tunnel. Now take a little breathing time just for you! You deserve it. The Oxford House is well equipped to help your son. He wants to go and knows this is as it should be. Let him go there and be nutured and learn a little each day. He will certainly face struggles but for every success he will feel empowered and want to succeed that much ore. If I could offer any advice I'd write him a letter (as a mom ) and mention times when he was happy, family times, or times with his friends that he enjoyed and can look back with some happiness or a fond memory. Let him know that he is on the road to recovery and that if there were no chance for recovery people would never even try but they do and many do succeed and that you know that he will do his best one day at a time. You and your family are in my thoughts tonight and I pray tonight for each of you from one mom to another.........hugs, dixie

Ann

This is all good news, thank you for sharing it. Oxford House is a wonderfully supportive place for him to be, and the best part is that he is finding his own way here and making good choices.

Hugs

sobercuse

((((krhea))))

Each day is a new beginning. Glad to hear the good news.

Recovery gives us hope.

Take care of yourself, life is good.

parentrecovers

terrific news, krhea. i hope you are able to relax a little now and that your son has a real positive experience at oxford house. hugs, k

Lobo

Krhea,
I've been thinking about you and your son. Well, he is on his way to a more positive experience. I know it has been a struggle, but he got this far and he is really trying.
I think you can breath a little easier now. Sounds like both sons are doing well.

Take care.........Lo

Louise54

Life is good! That is great news. Your in my thoughts.

Selah

that's great news Krhea. I'm so happy for you! And I feel proud that your son could realize it was dangerous to come home.
my abf is coming home nxt week after 30 days and he refuses to do the halfway house/extended care outpatient program near his rehab. I wish he would, I asked him to reconsider. But I guess he has to be ready and make it his choice. I hate to be negative, but it's a bad decision to return to the same ole things...

BigSis

Stay in today... it seems to be a good place! My son thrived at his Oxford House - he was by far the youngest one there, but the old guys took good care of him.

I wish you and your son the very best... (((hugs)))

Barbdee

Congrats...esp. on the positive thinking! It does help alot if not work miracles.
And congrats to your RAS for being accepted.
My RAS has been also thriving at an Oxford House. Sometimes there's drama going on (you would think that would only happen in women's Oxford Houses, but you'd be surprised how catty guys can be sometimes). But overall, it's been a terrific experience for him. The older guys tend to become like father figures, esp. if they have lived there for 5 or 10 yrs. And there is absolutely NO co-dependence there at all. They've all done it and heard it all before.
Our son got quite offended several times when they drug tested him, for one reason or another (usually bouncing his rent check), but got over it quickly.
Best of luck to you and "R"AS :-)
Barb

Selah

I'm not familiar with oxford house...is it a sober living facility or do they have meetings/IOP? I am looking for a place for my xabf

lil516

Such good news!!...

I am encouraged by your son's attitude
he has grown up quite a bit since mom joined SR!

I wish the best for both of you...

recovery involves making life changes...
that is hard to do in a 28 day period of time
long time recovery needs long term commitment

I am so happy your son is willing and ready to recover....

I will keep him in my prayers

krhea75

Thanks for all the hugs...Selah, Oxford house is a halfway house between rehab and total freedom. there are expectations for those who live there. They must pay rent, and contribute to the household duties. They are located in many cities. Hopefully this will work out for your xabf.
krhea

hope213

focus on the good things in life. take care of yourself. i am glad he is in the oxford house. i have no experence with it but hear it is really good. i wish him the best.prayers, hope

caileesnana

Thanks for the good news. So happy for you, and your son!!
prayers and blessings,
susan

greeteachday

Wonderful news for the whole family! So glad for your son and glad you are living in each day. Hugs

cece

Wow! Its good to hear awesome news. Isn't it nice to breathe?

Hangin' In

Krhea,

So glad to hear the good news!!!

And I laughed Krhea when I read what you posted, because I did the very same thing when I wrote it in my Al Anon book....."Perfection, not progress." Are we the backward queens or what? When I saw I had written that in my One Day At A Time book, I wrote, "Ooops!" beside it.

Well, honey, you go ahead and enjoy that perfection OR progress. Heck, I say when we mamas do anything that moves us forward, well, I call that dern near perfect behavior!

Again, congrats on the great news. Will keep your son in my prayers.

Hugs,
Hangin' In

Spiritual Seeker

dyslexic al-anon...I LOVE IT
Sounds like you are learning the "art" of detachment and he is learning what he needs to learn. Wishing you both continued success.

krhea75

Thanks all. The phrase progress not perfection has become my mantra. I even said it in the classroom the other day to one of my students who expects so much of herself and she latched right on to it. I could see an aha moment happening with her. It's amazing how things take a while for us to understand. Son is home right now, we go to court in a few minutes and then off to the ortho. His dad is taking him back to rehab tonight where he will be drug tested and then to Oxford house tomorrow. I let him go off with his friends last night for a few hours and didn't know if I should, but I did. THey went bowling. He said that he needed to hang out with them in public. So that was a positive. I know that the struggle for him is just beginning, leaving the safety of rehab and facing the freedom of choice every day. I just have to pull back and let him experience life. The what ifs are coming at me, but I just try to push them away. Live in today. Thanks again for all of your support. You help me make it.
krhea