Impurrfect

I'm new to posting here, but have been reading posts for months and wanted to let you all know how VERY much you have helped me.

Just a little bit about myself. I am a recovering addict - had more than 1 year clean, relapsed for 1 week and decided that was it - no more, and I now have 6 months. But I have been a codie forever! I wore out my first copy of "codependent no more" years ago and had to buy another one. Unfortunately, I didn't practice what I read back then.

I am dealing with the consequences of my irresponsibility and financial ruin. I was a nurse making good money, now I am a server (waitress) making $3.13/hr plus tips. (I AM working on getting my nursing career back and will do whatever it takes). I am living with my dad, stepmom (who I love dearly) and my 14-year-old niece, who's mom (my stepsister) died at age 18 in a car wreck when my niece was 13 months old. I am surrounded by codependence (my stepmom feels guilty my niece never knew her mom so niece basically controls the house).

Anyway, I read posts every morning when I get home from work (I work 3rd shift) and have been trying to practice what I learn. Last week, the doorbell rang, and my stepmom woke me up and said "there's a cop at the door for you". Well, my heart sunk to the basement and I thought "I'm going to jail in my jammies". I haven't done anything wrong BUT I have all these bills past due and any ticket or judicial problem with that would be a violation of my probation and I would go back to jail. Well, the officer was very nice and handed me papers saying that I've been sued for $4000 by a creditor on an old credit card and the creditors won and I had 30 days to respond. I told him "you scared the H--- out of me, I'm on probation". He told me to call them, work out a payment plan and it would be all right.

The "old" me cried, through the papers on my bed, said I wished I was dead, I will NEVER get back on my feet, and on and on. This lasted all of 5 minutes, though, and I asked myself (which is 2nd nature now) "did I cause this?" Yep! "Can I change it?" - well I can't change it, but "can I cure it?" Yep! So I called the creditor. They want $200/month to begin immediately. Work has been really slow and my car needs a $500 repair so I don't have it.

The next day I signed up with a prepaid legal service my coworker demanded, they are disputing the bill. I am sure it is accurate, BUT this will give me a couple more weeks to come up with the $200. I called the creditor and assured them that once I have verified the charges, I am more than willing to pay my debts.

There is a lot more going on in my life, but this is just one example of how much you have all taught me. My dad said he is so proud of how I am handling this and how I didn't fall apart. I told him he didn't see me for that 5 minutes when I was wallowing in self pity! I have somehow become the only voice of reason in this house at times and have found I CANNOT make anyone else stop their codependent behaviors but I seem to be making a difference in how they see me handling obstacle after obstacle.

It is going to be hard coming up with the extra $200/month - I pay my dad rent, car payment, am trying to pay on other past debts, but I know I'll be okay. If I have to get another job, I'll do it, but I'd rather not. Last week was really slow at work and I was stressing out and getting frustrated. I told God that I was having a hard time and I needed a sign to know whether to get another job but the sign would have to be VERY obvious 'cause "I'm old, blonde, and stressed out so I'll miss a sign if it's not in neon!" Well, this week picked up and by my last night to work I needed $70 to pay all my bills. Lo and behold, the last night I made $72 - could even loan a friend $2 for bus fare AND my paycheck was bigger than normal, so I could pay another bill and breathe.

Sorry this was so long, but I wanted you to know that it helps me so much to hear how you all have handled situations and though I have a long way to go, I feel pretty good most of the time because #1 - I don't have to use to handle these situations today and #2 I have tools that will work when I use them.

Thanks again!!
Amy

Ann

Amy, I am glad you joined us and your story has inspired me this morning.

I too can wallow for a while in self-pity when life drops an obstacle in my way, but like you I have discovered that there often is a solution, even if I don't care for the problem and would rather not have it in the first place.

Sometimes when we just keep our head about us, we can figure out a way...just like you did. I am a great believer that when we do our part, God will provide the rest. My needs have always been met, even if not in the way I might have chosen, but met nonetheless, and my wants can wait for another day.

Congratulations on being a double winner, we have several of those here, and it always amazes me to see how the two sides of recovery can work so well together.

Hugs

frankie_b

((( Impurrfect ))) Your uplifting post has me me smiling this morning. Thank you for being here with us.
I recall another post you made recently on another thread. I'm so glad
you're reaching out and are using the codie recovery tools. Good for you. You're shining.

caileesnana

Amy,
You can and will get back up! I am a nurse also and have friends who have gotten through addiciton and gotten their careers back and are once again wonderful nurses. I'm not sure what state you are in, but there are folks to help you.
Let me know if I can do anything.
Congratulations,keep up the good work and keep looking up to God for everything.
susan

Impurrfect

Thanks for the welcomes!

Susan - I am in GA and when I went into treatment (BC - b4 crack) was told that GA is one of the best states at helping impaired nurses. I have a felony drug charge but on a first offender basis - it will disappear if I complete my probation (a little over 2 more years).

I have checked into the state Board of Nursing (BON). Part of my probation is to "surrender license" and my PO said I can't actively pursue my license. But I am going to check with the prepaid lawyers (they're actually quite good from what I've seen) and see if they can either get my probation over sooner (already completed 2-1/2 years with perfect record) or get the "surrender license" removed from my plea.

Have already written to BON and from what I hear, it will take a LONG time for things to get running. I think I have a chance getting off regular probation if I go onto the BON's probation which is MUCH stricter.

I just keep praying that if it is meant for me to go back into nursing, God keep me going in the right direction and do whatever I need to. If it's not meant to be, I already have 2 associate's degrees and will find another career. I really enjoy my job now, but it is not something I want to make a career of.

None of this will be easy, but I have a lot of support from family, friends, and here at SR so I know I don't have to do any of this alone.

Thanks again, everyone. SR (and computer solitaire) seems to be my latest "addictions" so you will be hearing more from me.
Amy

notsleepingwell

(((Amy)))
Welcome to SR!!! This is such a wonderful place for support, advice and sometimes just as a sounding board.

SR saved my life and the people on here are angels....welcome aboard!!

parentrecovers

keep coming back, amy. i really appreciate your honesty. blessings, k

Change4life

I just found myself in the same situation and Ive been freakin cause if Im being sued by one company what if the rest follow. Ill be living in poverty for the rest of my life.

I havent been sued yet. I dont know how to handle it and usually when I dont know how to handle something I just ignore it till things get out of control crazy.

You made me realize I need to relax address the situation and find a way to work things out so I dont starve or end up on the street again

Done_With_It

****{Beth}}}

This post is almost a year old, and I only say that so you can read her update that she just posted, look how far she has come.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...good-news.html

Stay in the solution, stay sober, keep reaching out, you are doing great!
When we put the effort into recovery that we put into our addictions
we become the Amazing people we were meant to be!!

You can do whatever you set your mind to!!! You really are doing Great!!!!

Impurrfect

(((Beth)))

I had to look twice...this was posted back in Sept.

I'm glad it's here, and what you needed to read.

I set up a payment plan with them...they demanded $200/month, told them I could give them $100/month and they said okay. I've been plugging away at it and another collection account for all this time.

I've had other collections come up, and have dealt with them as they come. Yes, when one finds you, it seems they ALL find you. I still have a LOT to deal with, but the ones I've gotten lately have offered "settlements" and are usually half what I owed initially.

I do what I can do. I'm honest with them, and SO FAR, they have been spaced far enough apart and are relatively minor bills (around $150-$200 settlements) that I've been able to clear up several.

I still have a long way to go, but am making progress. I did figure out, though, that avoiding them only added a huge amount of stress and isn't worth it.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

hope213

amy, honey, you are going to be ok. you have come so far & i just KNOW you are going to be just fine. i am glad you are with us. hugs & more prayers,